My Dad

DapperButch · 04-04-2010, 09:46 AM

Hi, Folks.

I wasn't quite sure where to put this.

Last Thursday (3/25/10), I wrote on the "What made you sad today" thread about my Dad being diagnosed with Stage 3 Lung Cancer.

Unfortunately, by the next morning he was in ICU on a respirator.

Yesterday, we had to take him off of life support as the tumors were so large in his lungs that they could not get rid of the infection to even look at being able to treat the cancer.

It is amazing how one can go from being a very healthy person who exercised everyday, played golf nonstop (in the winter he played "freezing fridays" :-), and ate right, to having an increasingly bad cough for about 5 weeks, get a cancer diagnose, and then die within 8 days. How the heck does not happen?

The doctors were amazed by how aggressive the cancer was.

And he hadn't smoke in 24 years.

Anyway, I wanted to post an update as after that first post I received PMs and reps of support. Thank you all.

-A

Linus · 04-04-2010, 09:48 AM

Awww.. dude. Sorry to hear this. Your father, you and your family with be in my prayers.

sweetfemme247 · 04-04-2010, 09:53 AM

I am very sorry to hear about that, My prayers are with you and your family.

Semantics · 04-04-2010, 09:54 AM

I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

Liam · 04-04-2010, 09:55 AM

I am sorry for your loss, DapperButch. You and your family are in my thoughts.

violaine · 04-04-2010, 09:56 AM

dear dapperbutch,

my deepest condolences to you and your loved ones during this time of great loss.

belle

adorable · 04-04-2010, 09:59 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a tragedy!! This actually happened to a friend of mine who had never smoked in his life! Cancer is ugly! What a complete shock this must have been for you!

WILDCAT · 04-04-2010, 10:13 AM

I'm so sorry to read this update and extremely sad and sudden turn of events with regards to your Dad...

I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now.
__

Peace and love to your heart and your family - and may wonderful memories bring you ALL comfort in the days ahead...

Sincerely,
WILDCAT

Kimbo · 04-04-2010, 10:46 AM

Dapper,

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your father. Cancer is such an ugly thing and so incredibly unpredictable.

My condolence to you and your family.

Take care of yourself.

Kimbo

BullDog · 04-04-2010, 11:01 AM

I am very sorry to hear this Dapper. All my best wishes to you and your family.

Jett · 04-04-2010, 11:08 AM

Hey A... so sorry to hear this. I knew things were bad but I'm shocked to hear how fast things progressed... my heart goes out to you and your family big time my friend.

Peace,
Metro

Bit · 04-04-2010, 11:21 AM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dapper and your family}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Losing a parent can be such a shock, the more so if he was always very healthy. Please try to take good care of yourself right now, okay?

T D · 04-04-2010, 11:27 AM

My condolences to you and your family, Dapper. I just went through a similar experience. We took my step dad of 49 years off of life support at 6pm on Monday 3/29 and he passed away in little over 6 and 1/2 hours, at 12:45am. I was just glad that it was fast, and he didn't appear to suffer at all during the process.

I know how fast ones health can decline, and I totally feel for you.

Be sure to take care of yourself through all of this!!!!

DapperButch · 04-04-2010, 11:34 AM

Thanks so much to everyone who has responded with support on this thread and through reps.

The toughest will be for my mom who has been with him since she was 15 years old. 52 years together and 45 years of marriage (she waited until he went through the Navy and college before marrying). They did everything together (except golf!), so this will be tough for her. Fortunately she is close to one of her neighbors and is connected to her church, as well, so that will be helpful.

My mom was the traditional homemaker who has never even paid a bill before, so there will be some new things that she will need to learn. I guess they figured that there was time for him to show her how he handled their finances because they were both so healthy.

I am glad that I live close by so I can help her with all of this stuff. She is a smart woman, so she should be ok. She is just scared since she went from living with her mother to marrying my father; she has never lived alone.

Thanks again, friends.

DapperButch · 04-04-2010, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T D

My condolences to you and your family, Dapper. I just went through a similar experience. We took my step dad of 49 years off of life support at 6pm on Monday 3/29 and he passed away in little over 6 and 1/2 hours, at 12:45am. I was just glad that it was fast, and he didn't appear to suffer at all during the process.

I know how fast ones health can decline, and I totally feel for you.

Be sure to take care of yourself through all of this!!!!

I am so very sorry for your recent loss, as well. I hope those 6.5 hours weren't too difficult. My father lasted only 28 minutes, and I found that to be a blessing.

Corkey · 04-04-2010, 12:52 PM

We are so sorry Dapper, our prayers go out to you and your Mom.

Blade · 04-04-2010, 12:54 PM

very sorry to hear this sad news. will be praying for you and your family

Jet · 04-04-2010, 12:54 PM

I'm really sorry Dapper.

Odarlin · 04-04-2010, 01:00 PM

My deepest condolances Dapper.
My heart goes out to you and your family.... your Mom.

Andrew, Jr. · 04-04-2010, 01:00 PM

Dapper,

I am so very sorry to learn of this news. I am lifting all of your family up in prayer. I am glad you are there for your Mom.

Love,
Andrew

04-04-2010, 09:46 AM	#1
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,809 Times in 5,771 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	My Dad Hi, Folks. I wasn't quite sure where to put this. Last Thursday (3/25/10), I wrote on the "What made you sad today" thread about my Dad being diagnosed with Stage 3 Lung Cancer. Unfortunately, by the next morning he was in ICU on a respirator. Yesterday, we had to take him off of life support as the tumors were so large in his lungs that they could not get rid of the infection to even look at being able to treat the cancer. It is amazing how one can go from being a very healthy person who exercised everyday, played golf nonstop (in the winter he played "freezing fridays" :-), and ate right, to having an increasingly bad cough for about 5 weeks, get a cancer diagnose, and then die within 8 days. How the heck does not happen? The doctors were amazed by how aggressive the cancer was. And he hadn't smoke in 24 years. Anyway, I wanted to post an update as after that first post I received PMs and reps of support. Thank you all. -A __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

04-04-2010, 09:48 AM	#2
Linus The Planet's Technical Bubba How Do You Identify?: FTM Preferred Pronoun?: He/Him/Geek Relationship Status: Married to my forever! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Redondo Beach, CA Posts: 5,440 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,929 Thanked 10,727 Times in 3,172 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Awww.. dude. Sorry to hear this. Your father, you and your family with be in my prayers. __________________ Personal Blog \|\| [] \|\| Cigar Blog "We become Human Doings instead of Human Beings." -- Ram Dass

04-04-2010, 09:53 AM	#3
sweetfemme247 Member How Do You Identify?: fem Preferred Pronoun?: femme, she, her, baby, sweetie Relationship Status: holding my heart close and putting back up a wall Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: california, palm springs Posts: 994 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 206 Thanked 719 Times in 350 Posts Rep Power: 4115671	I am very sorry to hear about that, My prayers are with you and your family. __________________ Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn

04-04-2010, 09:55 AM	#5
Liam Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Guy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Evergreen State Posts: 2,269 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,865 Thanked 6,875 Times in 1,860 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I am sorry for your loss, DapperButch. You and your family are in my thoughts. __________________ <3 Love is weird.

04-04-2010, 10:13 AM	#8
WILDCAT Member How Do You Identify?: Very PROUD BUTCH LESBIAN! Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PA Posts: 679 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 796 Thanked 551 Times in 238 Posts Rep Power: 761791	I'm so sorry to read this update and extremely sad and sudden turn of events with regards to your Dad... I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now. __ Peace and love to your heart and your family - and may wonderful memories bring you ALL comfort in the days ahead... Sincerely, WILDCAT __________________ *Do not give permanent reality to temporary things...

04-04-2010, 09:54 AM	#4
Semantics Senior Member How Do You Identify?: malapropist Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New England Posts: 2,169 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,367 Thanked 3,963 Times in 1,201 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I'm sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

04-04-2010, 09:56 AM	#6
violaine Timed Out How Do You Identify?: atypical Preferred Pronoun?: plague words and phrases Relationship Status: love wise guys of the avian world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: wekiva springs basin Posts: 3,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,934 Thanked 3,293 Times in 1,301 Posts Rep Power: 0	dear dapperbutch, my deepest condolences to you and your loved ones during this time of great loss. belle

04-04-2010, 09:59 AM	#7
adorable Member How Do You Identify?: Sarcastically Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Home of the Yankee's Posts: 752 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,708 Thanked 2,644 Times in 590 Posts Rep Power: 12725119	I'm so sorry for your loss. What a tragedy!! This actually happened to a friend of mine who had never smoked in his life! Cancer is ugly! What a complete shock this must have been for you!

04-04-2010, 10:46 AM	#9
Kimbo Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Relationship Status: Eligible Butchelor Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Seattle Posts: 591 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 432 Thanked 551 Times in 257 Posts Rep Power: 119	Dapper, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your father. Cancer is such an ugly thing and so incredibly unpredictable. My condolence to you and your family. Take care of yourself. Kimbo

04-04-2010, 11:01 AM	#10
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,640 Times in 4,463 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	I am very sorry to hear this Dapper. All my best wishes to you and your family. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

04-04-2010, 11:08 AM	#11
Jett Member How Do You Identify?: Hardcore bullheaded grown-ass Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: she loves my shaggy hair Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The backroom of a night cafe plotting world domination Posts: 1,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,054 Thanked 3,299 Times in 568 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Hey A... so sorry to hear this. I knew things were bad but I'm shocked to hear how fast things progressed... my heart goes out to you and your family big time my friend. Peace, Metro __________________ .......... In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

04-04-2010, 11:21 AM	#12
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778870	{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Dapper and your family}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Losing a parent can be such a shock, the more so if he was always very healthy. Please try to take good care of yourself right now, okay?

04-04-2010, 11:27 AM	#13
T D Member How Do You Identify?: Person of the trans variety Preferred Pronoun?: He, Sir, Bro, TD, Stevin Relationship Status: On occasion Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 1,165 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,428 Thanked 1,125 Times in 311 Posts Rep Power: 3570339	My condolences to you and your family, Dapper. I just went through a similar experience. We took my step dad of 49 years off of life support at 6pm on Monday 3/29 and he passed away in little over 6 and 1/2 hours, at 12:45am. I was just glad that it was fast, and he didn't appear to suffer at all during the process. I know how fast ones health can decline, and I totally feel for you. Be sure to take care of yourself through all of this!!!!

04-04-2010, 11:34 AM	#14
DapperButch Roadster Guy How Do You Identify?: FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?: He Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Northeast Posts: 7,745 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26,545 Thanked 26,809 Times in 5,771 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Thanks Thanks so much to everyone who has responded with support on this thread and through reps. The toughest will be for my mom who has been with him since she was 15 years old. 52 years together and 45 years of marriage (she waited until he went through the Navy and college before marrying). They did everything together (except golf!), so this will be tough for her. Fortunately she is close to one of her neighbors and is connected to her church, as well, so that will be helpful. My mom was the traditional homemaker who has never even paid a bill before, so there will be some new things that she will need to learn. I guess they figured that there was time for him to show her how he handled their finances because they were both so healthy. I am glad that I live close by so I can help her with all of this stuff. She is a smart woman, so she should be ok. She is just scared since she went from living with her mother to marrying my father; she has never lived alone. Thanks again, friends. __________________ -Dapper Are you educated or indoctrinated?

04-04-2010, 12:52 PM	#16
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,268 Times in 6,637 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	We are so sorry Dapper, our prayers go out to you and your Mom. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

04-04-2010, 12:54 PM	#17
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,855 Thanked 14,412 Times in 4,058 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	very sorry to hear this sad news. will be praying for you and your family

04-04-2010, 12:54 PM	#18
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	I'm really sorry Dapper.

04-04-2010, 01:00 PM	#19
Odarlin Member How Do You Identify?: Undine Preferred Pronoun?: Sexy Relationship Status: Finding my immortal soul one giggle at a time. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: under a bright and cheery rock Posts: 290 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 506 Thanked 178 Times in 69 Posts Rep Power: 22	My deepest condolances Dapper. My heart goes out to you and your family.... your Mom.

04-04-2010, 01:00 PM	#20
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Dapper, I am so very sorry to learn of this news. I am lifting all of your family up in prayer. I am glad you are there for your Mom. Love, Andrew