Open Letter: Dear Femme

cara · 12-13-2009, 11:13 PM

I've been told my entire life to "act like a lady." When I was younger and playing rugby, an older male told me getting hurt was what I got for trying to play a man's sport. I was too shocked to retort by saying that I didn't get hurt playing rugby but that it was actually an injury from playing volleyball at the company picnic. *eyeroll* I've heard this mysoginistic stuff from my dad, from men trying to pick me up, from butches and even people in the leather community. I've heard it so much that, like Arwen, I have to fight that internal processing so hard ever day. It has been a struggle to figure out who I am and find my own voice. What I want is to be seen, heard, understood and accepted as a person not a gender or gender stereotype. I agree with Bit that our community has evolved a lot over the past several years. I am curious to see what it will look like in another 7 years.

~cara

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12-13-2009, 11:13 PM	#11
cara Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Queer/lesbian femme Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: Married to my love 08.15.15 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 3,401 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,995 Thanked 13,254 Times in 2,725 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I've been told my entire life to "act like a lady." When I was younger and playing rugby, an older male told me getting hurt was what I got for trying to play a man's sport. I was too shocked to retort by saying that I didn't get hurt playing rugby but that it was actually an injury from playing volleyball at the company picnic. eyeroll I've heard this mysoginistic stuff from my dad, from men trying to pick me up, from butches and even people in the leather community. I've heard it so much that, like Arwen, I have to fight that internal processing so hard ever day. It has been a struggle to figure out who I am and find my own voice. What I want is to be seen, heard, understood and accepted as a person not a gender or gender stereotype. I agree with Bit that our community has evolved a lot over the past several years. I am curious to see what it will look like in another 7 years. ~cara