The Re-Definition of the Modern Butch

[Jett]

Not by me, and not a re-definition but a clarification of definition by all of us... and not to narrow but to open and expand it, or better said, to open peoples minds to how extremely diverse and expansive butch already is... right now, right here... as we sit here and ponder our own little place in it.

No offense... but we all could learn a thing or two, I always could.

Specifically I wish we'd take a look at the rigidity of myths and stereotypes about us as butches, break the bullshit mis-information and put a kink in the chain of othering and exclusion. If we could open up to the diverse vibrant array of what butch is instead of this black & white thinking we might cut short some of the links of division between us (all of us) I've seen forged of late.

I'm talking internal stuff that happens in our B-F forums, knocks and mis-information about butches by butches (and femmes equally) perpetuated either in jest, by mistake or even deliberately.

One example I find especially damaging, the negative slurring of queer terms as if there's some great wide chasm between "them" and "us". Lesbian especially... how "lesbians this or that us"... "lesbian type sex"... hello, there's shit loads of packin'/strappin butch lesbians. Or even the dreaded genderless andro bullshit, there's butch androgynes (and chock full of dually gender goodness I might add). And bi's, there's (gasp) bisexual butches? Yes of course. Feminists, feminist butches yes and male id feminists to boot. Trans, some trans are not only transguys but ID as deeply as butches... etc. etc. * (asterisks indicate side notes to a statement found bottom of page)

So when you talk to your hot date (butch or femme) about "the lesbians" they may just be thinking "idiot" and wishing for the check... or how you'll never understand women/males to your buddy, they may ID as butch woman/male... and about the "andros" of which I happen to consider myself an androgyne- female born masculine butch prettyboy**, well obviously you may be talking to one... etc. you get the picture etc.. So online posting in any butch femme setting I guarantee the "they" are all reading you very intently.

Knowing that and still trash talking lesbian/trans/andro/bi/women/male/dyke/etc.etc. as if "they" aren't an integral piece of B-F "us" or less than is divisive, a way creating hierarchys, othering, excluding not to mention just ugly.

Then there's the less damaging but equally stupid stuff like: butches don't have deep emotions/butches are always tops/butches need ego stroking/butches can't cook/all butches have negative body images/female ID butches never struggle with body image-top surgery/butches are damaged or have been abused if they don't want penetration/butches don't date other butches/butches have no manners... on and on.

If you could re-educate some about butches or educate some future B-F'ers what would you tell them?

How have these or other myths or stereotypes of what butch is or isn't negatively affected you?

Those are just a couple questions to maybe kick start focused thought, feel free to reiterate, expand or talk about similar issues or what ever. I know I'll probably chime back in with more.

This thread is for/about all ID butches, but one thing that I don't want is it to turn into is a blatant pissing contest between ID's. Hard convos are good, but personal agendas and vendettas are obvious and aren't cool. And directly in the spirit of the thread, the words "I" "some" "many" etc. are recommended rather than lumping "all" of us into your nutshell. Obviously nobody's perfect so peeps will not be de-pants for oversights in this.

Thanks in advance to anyone who chooses to post.
Metro
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*food for thought, femmes can and do often relate to all these ID's and terms.

**as in masculine female who looks like a male who looks like a female... prettyboy, a queer term not literally thinking I'm "pretty" (all I need is for that shit to start lol)