Your Ideal Relationship Format

[Penmarked Femme]

Originally Posted by MasterfulButch

Back Story
When I first came out, I was new to the scene, young and following some gut instinct. I had no real understanding or the perspective that a few more years would have brought. Anyway, I kissed my first girl and had that wonderful feeling of ‘rightness’ which I’m sure many of you will identify with. Within a very short space of time my excitement was thoroughly doused as the girl and her gay male best friend proceeded to explain to me that “gay people don’t do long term relationships”. “If that’s what you want in life,” they told me, “then you better not go down this path.” This threw me into a spin of trying to reconcile my definite sexuality with my equally definite belief in a certain type of relationship. The thought that two of the most fundamental facets of my personality were so diametrically opposed was horrific.

Fast forward to the present day and I’m glad to say I now know how thoroughly wrong these people were. Years and experience have taught me that we can have whatever form of relationship we want, subject to finding a willing partner(s) of course. So, I thought I would celebrate this choice and also how far society has come in those intervening years by asking you for your opinions…

Getting to the point
Imagine (if you need to) that you’ve found your ideal partner(s) and there are no tedious barriers like financial situations to worry about, what would your optimum relationship format look like?

I’m thinking general here. Would you be monogamous? Would you be poly? Live together? Live in neighbouring properties with an inter-connecting door? Be focussed primarily on other things (e.g. work)? Backpack around the world together? Are you soulmates? Best friends? Have a commitment ceremony? Call her/them wife? Have children? Have pets? Start a charity together? Still be together twenty years on? Live in the moment? BDSM? Vanilla?

So been thinking and will think more about my ideal relationship. Recently a friend of mine challenged me to write down my list of non negotiables. I've already put this one out to the universe but perhaps I somehow skipped this planet so here it is.

1) wants/has children and is comfortable with my son and vice versa
2) funny
3) likes to socialize
4) acknowledges the realities of and sympathizes with grief
5) receptive to holism
6) spiritual
7) high sex drive
8) kinky
9) creative
10) stable finances
11) romantic
12) likes to dance
13) likes to travel
13) Butch preferably but not exclusively