Dating a Trans Person (FTM)

[Zora77]

Originally Posted by Ursy

Hi Zora

I've been with my guy nearly 10 years now, he started on T about 5 years ago.

Don't worry, you will get used to using male pronouns - what really helped me was to join a Yahoo group for SOFFAs (Significant Others, Friends, Family and Allies) of FTMs where I could talk about it with others who were going through / had gone through the same thing in their relationships.

The identity thing - well, I loosely identify as pan-sexual / queer femme / whatever so it wasn't a big problem for me, but yes, it can be a sticking point for some, definitely.

As for changes to the relationship, there were many - it's a complex journey our guys go on and it's quite amazing how hormones can change a person! First of all, Kris is much much happier than he used to be. I know there is sometimes a worry about T making a guy more aggressive, but we didn't find this to be the case. He would get moody if his T shot schedule was off, but otherwise has become more emotionally stable. Personally, I think that if someone is not a naturally aggressive person, T won't make them aggressive.

I could write a tome about this so I'll stop now and give you a chance to read this post before it becomes too big!

Cheers,
Ursy

Thank you Ursy for your encouraging words! It's all very fresh for me and I know I have a tendency to worry too much, so I'll try not to do that and just go with the flow. I'll definitely check out the Yahoo group! If you would not mind sharing, I'd be interested in what some of the changes where your relationship underwent as a result of his transition - in addition to making Kris a happier person which is great. Thanks again.

Z.