Halp! I never developed gaydar and I need...

[Nat]

I actually had a similar question about a physical therapist once. I was in a relationship and so my speculation was idle, but appreciative. She seemed flirty toward me until she found out I was a lesbian. She was flirty with straight girls. She had a boyfriend. She walked like a stable-boy. Eventually I heard through the itsybitsy lesbian grapevine there that she'd told my friend's girlfriend that she thought she might be gay but she didn't know.

Anyway, even if she's a lesbian, she may not be out or may not have figured it out. I had the pleasure of spending 6 weeks in Oxford once. It totally threw off my gaydar. All the men seemed a bit gay and all the women too. I think people put out different signals to some extent from region to region and culture to culture.

Actually it's similar in Texas - we have a lot of masculine straight women here who are straight or who are at least living straight-looking lives.

I don't find it distateful to wonder if somebody is a lesbian or not. And I agree it wouldn't be appropriate to outright ask (in your specific situation). I think I'd try to enjoy the not knowing for a while. She does sound flirty to me though.