Dating other femmes exes: what do you think?

[*Anya*]

Forgive me for snipping some parts of your posts but I think these parts highlight how I look at it and many of your feelings.

Length of time counts- together a month online and not in real life? Very different than a long-term one in real life.

Blatantly flirting and "rubbing it in the nose" of the ex who so clearly was not over him or her? Different than being gentle with someone's feelings and showing some discretion.

Clearly deciding if the new relationship worth the loss of an actual friend.

Someone that has a habit of dating 200 people- that was not the case of my friend but do not think that is relevant as much as the length of time of the serious relationship-not casual and very monogamous!

Bottom line, it sounds, if I am reading all of you correctly-everyone has their own boundaries and what is right for them.

I still never would. But that is me. I treat other femmes exactly as I would like to be treated, regardless if they live by another code or not.

Originally Posted by June

I would never EVER date the ex of a Heart/Sister Friend. Not unless they were dead of natural causes. I told her I was dating H, and she just fell apart. She wasn't mad at me, but she wasn't over him either.

So, my point here is, be gentle with the feelings of others as well. If there hasn't been a lot of time go by, I wouldn't do a lot of PDA, etc. Not all exes are bad people, they just didn't work out.

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

I personally wouldn't date Medusa's ex or Julie's ex or Pinkie Pie's ex because I have a particular kind of relationship with them and other women in my life that ties them to me via my mushy parts. That's an off limits clear boundary that I have for

I feel we (general) know what is right or wrong and if it feels odd or off then it probably is.


It's a code of ethics a person has to have, ethics vary by person so my ethics aren't going to be the same as X, Y & Z's but they WILL be similar to June's, Julie's, Pancho's, Crystal's or Kens..

Originally Posted by LaneyDoll

We have yet to run into his ex. She is no longer friends with her, by her choice, and I am not taking away from her right to feel betrayed.

I think that there are a huge amount of variables that come into play...

~How long were they together? One month is a lot different from one year.

~Who broke up with who and why? If things ended b/c they just simply did not mesh that is one thing.

~How long have they been apart? Again, one month is a lot different from one year.

Originally Posted by guihong

I should amend my answer that one possible exception would be if my friend went out on one or two dates with someone, and they didn't hit it off and decided to remain friends. Then it might not be so awkward, especially if friend says "I think you and Date might be great together". But an ex from a long term relationship? That falls under the "don't" category.

And as usually happens, there's a lot of "it depends" situations as LaneyDoll points out. So it's a situational thing.

Originally Posted by macele

way back when i was stupid (i still can't believe how stupid i was. and the worst mistake i've ever made in regards to relations, they had broken up, but still, don't do it. i told my friend that i was talking to her ex, ... she said it was ok, but it wasn't. if you want to keep that persons voice in your life, a friendly voice, ... don't go with their ex. i regret it. i was wrong.

and i might add, online is no different from in person. not in my used-to-be stupid opinion.

Originally Posted by gaea

In terms of "close" friends of mine I would not date their exes EVER....and that would be to count those femme's in my top 10 or so.

Online vs real life ? is there a difference? we are all real people online, at least i would like to think so