FTM place to vent and talk

[DMW]

Originally Posted by ruffryder

I've ran into femmes that aren't sure about FTMs and how they identify. They have made mistakes calling me her, she, girl.. and It blew me away.. I somehow get more upset when this happens in our own community then if a straight identifying person would mess that up. Has anyone ran into that also? and
another question to you all is, do you think femme women understand FTM better than a straight woman or vice versa? What are your experiences with this?

and.. another question yet, Who do you share that you are an FTM with and do you explain it or do you just let others assume you are butch, lesbian or a straight male or however they may view or perceive you?

I think this has to do with the level of awareness, knowledge, exposure to or with and experience that each woman has had with FTM's in general.
Whether the woman identifies as gay or straight...i am not sure that applies.

I believe that a woman will understand as much i am willing to share with her.


[Derailed thought...
My first long term relationship was with a woman who had only dated biomales...and at that time in my life i identified as butch (or just me).
I was perceived as a ...wow...I hear this overwhellming voice of hers in my head...
"But, you are so much like a guy". Very true. I always felt that way and I
always was like that. This particular woman...struggled with understanding
that...hell, i had to tell her eventually, "I guess i am gay, i am a butch and if you are seriously interested in a relationship and a future with me. Then, you need to understand that...this is how we will be perceived as a couple. A gay couple" I basically told her that she had to really understand that and accept that in order for us to move forward together as a couple. And i put a hold and break on us to give us both time.
(So odd and ironic...it is like the pot calling the kettle black in a way...
if i hadn't repressed and shoved down my feelings for so long growing up because society is so babyblue(boy) and lightpink(girl) and gotten in that...i don't know forced routine of this is how you should be...because you were born a girl...and this is how society expects you to be...(so wrong) maybe i would have snapped out of it sooner? Life gets busy for all of us too.
I was focused on school and my future and working part time during the start of that relationship...I see now (not that i haven't thought of it prior to this and since pretransition) that i needed time too. I recall now, with more reflection, that i was finishing up final exams and in the process of taking company entrance exams for my career.]


At least for me, personally, i am perceived as male and identify as male an ftm-male.
So, i explain to those whom i respect and grow to love. If i desire to and feel that they are deserving of my effort i will share more of who i am with them.
For the most part, all of my responses have been positive.
It helps grow some understanding between the relationships.

Originally Posted by Hominid

I don't tell anyone usually. I had to tell my back doctor, who was sitting and looking at my MRI (which clearly showed my hoo-ha) -he was trying to tell me that some of my symptoms might be my prostate.

In general, that is how i live my life. Perceived as male and will only come out when i deem it necessary.

This is a whole knew sphere too...i purposefully did not go to get an
MRI done for my back....because i worked at the only hospital in the city i lived in. I knew there was the possibility of outing myself there...cause of pelvic bones (xray) or the MRI soft tissue...as you point out.
I went to a chiropractor instead. But, never had tests done which should
have been. Because...i would have outted myself (to yet more people) at my work place. The whole...diagnostic, radiation, ultrasound..etc...group.
I needed that job. It was a smaller town and i didn't want to jeopardize our financial security.
Could not move from that city at the time for other reasons too.