broken hearts

Miss Scarlett · 11-03-2012, 07:32 AM

Breaking up hurts no matter what the reason or who initiates the break up. Grieving is normal. I work for a divorce attorney and tell clients all the time that I don't worry about them if they are grieving the loss of their marriage/relationship. They will work through it at their own pace and if they need counseling there is nothing wrong with that. It's the people who aren't grieving that I worry about.

A number of years ago I was working for the sweetest man. We were (and still are) very close. When I discovered my g/f at that time was cheating on me online and IRL; that from she was just using me for a place to stay and someone to support her, I was devastated to the point of barely being able to function.

During one tearful conversation he gave me the most wonderful piece of advice. Unfortunately he repeated this advice to me last night. I'll share it while it's still fresh in my mind:

"Don't feel like you have to be in a relationship and don't be in a hurry to get into another. You are a good person who is worthy to be loved and cherished by someone wonderful. Your value as a person is neither defined by nor dependent upon being in a relationship. Take a year off. At the end of the year reassess things. If you feel like you're ready to seriously date someone then go for it. If not, then don't. You'll be a stronger, more confident person who understands what she is looking for and the chances of you settling for someone out of loneliness or even desperation will be greatly reduced. It sounds tough but you will be able to do this and you will survive."

11-03-2012, 07:32 AM	#10
Miss Scarlett Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: . Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: . Posts: 5,530 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,478 Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Breaking up hurts no matter what the reason or who initiates the break up. Grieving is normal. I work for a divorce attorney and tell clients all the time that I don't worry about them if they are grieving the loss of their marriage/relationship. They will work through it at their own pace and if they need counseling there is nothing wrong with that. It's the people who aren't grieving that I worry about. A number of years ago I was working for the sweetest man. We were (and still are) very close. When I discovered my g/f at that time was cheating on me online and IRL; that from she was just using me for a place to stay and someone to support her, I was devastated to the point of barely being able to function. During one tearful conversation he gave me the most wonderful piece of advice. Unfortunately he repeated this advice to me last night. I'll share it while it's still fresh in my mind: "Don't feel like you have to be in a relationship and don't be in a hurry to get into another. You are a good person who is worthy to be loved and cherished by someone wonderful. Your value as a person is neither defined by nor dependent upon being in a relationship. Take a year off. At the end of the year reassess things. If you feel like you're ready to seriously date someone then go for it. If not, then don't. You'll be a stronger, more confident person who understands what she is looking for and the chances of you settling for someone out of loneliness or even desperation will be greatly reduced. It sounds tough but you will be able to do this and you will survive."