I don't think she's out there

[Heavenleahangel]

Originally Posted by 4everlonelyfemme

I know for a fact I'll be single for the rest of my life. I've met pretty much every butch here in Estonia, and lots of men as well.

Nobody wants me.

Everyone wants to chat to the pretty girls. I'm either one of the guys or invisible.

And that's with as much effort and money put into my appearance as I possibly can

So... Just taking it one day at a time, coping, trying to find comfort in alcohol and bars over the weekend, and sometimes into the week...At 21 the thought of a lifetime of this....I was born to suffer.

Pure hell.

Whenever I see couples I feel so much pain I want to strangle someone, seriously. And I'm about as cuddly and nonviolent as you can find. But we all have a breaking point.

Hi; I see you think that things are so bleak and hopeless, but I am going to put my 2cents out there and you can take my advice for whatever it is worth. (This coming from a much older femme that has socks older than you.)
Have you ever stopped to think that the negative energy you exert dwelling on how "unpretty" you are, how you were born to suffer, etc is what is keeping you from finding someone? Whether you want to believe it or not, you are sooo young. There is a whole world of possibilities out here just waiting for you, but if you keep dwelling on what you perceive as negative and unwanted issues, the positive can never happen.
With this being said, is it possible for you to go to some counseling to help with all this negativity in your life? I bet you would feel so much better about yourself and then the positive energies can flow and you will be able to find and accept love. I hink there are many of us both butch and femme that would love to go back to 21 and get to live life all over again! Life is way too short to be so down on yourself!