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[The JD]

In 1982, I met Kate Pierson of the B-52s, after first pinching her ass. Here's the back story:

I was at a tiny hole-in-the-wall club, maybe 50 people in the audience, which made the place feel pretty packed. The woman in front of me was wearing this white backless form fitting dress with these small white pom poms all over the dress, each spaced out a few inches from the next pom pom. The guy next to me was pretty excited by the woman in front of me, but wouldn't talk to her. Instead, he kept pointing at her, and yelling at me, "That's tape! That's TAPE!!"

Or so I thought. What he was really yelling, of course, was "That's KATE!" At the time, though, I thought he was trying to tell me this woman's dress was made of tape, so what did I do? I bent down for a closer inspection. It didn't look like tape, and I yelled that back... but he was even more frantic at this point, exaggeratedly pointing at her, and continued to mouth (I thought) "THAT'S TAPE!!"

So I bent back down, my head about 4 inches from her ass (because the club was so dark, you know), and just to be sure, I reached out and carefully pinched one of the pom poms on Kate Pierson's ass. When I stood back up, I informed him, "NO! I think it's COTTON!!" but to no avail. The poor guy was bent over double laughing at what I'd just done.

After the show, I met Kate, and of course realized then what the guy had been trying to tell me. I didn't mention the communication misfire to her, and if she was ever aware I had pinched her ass, she didn't mention that either.