Ask a trans person!

LoyalWolfsBlade · 06-30-2014, 03:10 AM

Hi deb,
Gemme and Dapper pretty much covered everyhing however I wantedd to add a couple of things from experience. One is because I am living in the same state as you now I know from experience that unless you are living in Atlanta findding a therapist with experience with this issue may be difficult. I know that as an adult I am having a difficult time finding a doctor never mind a therapist in my area and I wish I lived closer to Atlanta. So if Dapper can help in that area I would highly reccomend it. While your son is ahead of the game compared to most just because he has you and Ethan I believe that a therapist is crucial. If only so he can have someone to talk to that is not his parents. Especially in this very very conseravitive state. Hopefully you live close to Atlanta that does have a large LGBTQ community where he will have access to not only a therapist but possible some peer support groups so that he does not feel so alone.

As someone that lost my bio-family due to who I am I can understand your fear about your mom. However you are ahead of the game if she accepted the comming out as gay part that you expressed. Just as you will grieve the things you used to do with him and the things I am sure you dreamt of doing with him in the future your mother must also grieve the loss of her grand duaghter. All you can do is be there for both of them once your mom has been told. As for you having difficulty, if I read the first post right, with usuing the right pronoun and stuff I believe it will become natural with time and usuage. After all you did refer to him as her for 17 years so to switch to him may take time. If my bio-family can call me Alix after 47 years I am more than confident you will make the transtion with little effort.

One last thing I do suggest that you also see a therapist. You will also need to do some self care and maybe need somme help with the grieving process. While it is important that you ar there for your son it is also just as important that you take care of yourself and get any support you can find to help you through this. After all if you don't do self care and address how this affects you you may not be able to be ther for your son when he needs you.

He is lucky to have parents like you and Ethan that are willing to be there for him.

06-30-2014, 03:10 AM	#11
LoyalWolfsBlade Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Pre-Op FtM, Preferred Pronoun?: Masculine ones plz Relationship Status: Single but haven't given up on finding the One Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: I gaze upon the same moon as you do Posts: 3,827 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,214 Thanked 9,646 Times in 3,123 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Hi deb, Gemme and Dapper pretty much covered everyhing however I wantedd to add a couple of things from experience. One is because I am living in the same state as you now I know from experience that unless you are living in Atlanta findding a therapist with experience with this issue may be difficult. I know that as an adult I am having a difficult time finding a doctor never mind a therapist in my area and I wish I lived closer to Atlanta. So if Dapper can help in that area I would highly reccomend it. While your son is ahead of the game compared to most just because he has you and Ethan I believe that a therapist is crucial. If only so he can have someone to talk to that is not his parents. Especially in this very very conseravitive state. Hopefully you live close to Atlanta that does have a large LGBTQ community where he will have access to not only a therapist but possible some peer support groups so that he does not feel so alone. As someone that lost my bio-family due to who I am I can understand your fear about your mom. However you are ahead of the game if she accepted the comming out as gay part that you expressed. Just as you will grieve the things you used to do with him and the things I am sure you dreamt of doing with him in the future your mother must also grieve the loss of her grand duaghter. All you can do is be there for both of them once your mom has been told. As for you having difficulty, if I read the first post right, with usuing the right pronoun and stuff I believe it will become natural with time and usuage. After all you did refer to him as her for 17 years so to switch to him may take time. If my bio-family can call me Alix after 47 years I am more than confident you will make the transtion with little effort. One last thing I do suggest that you also see a therapist. You will also need to do some self care and maybe need somme help with the grieving process. While it is important that you ar there for your son it is also just as important that you take care of yourself and get any support you can find to help you through this. After all if you don't do self care and address how this affects you you may not be able to be ther for your son when he needs you. He is lucky to have parents like you and Ethan that are willing to be there for him. __________________ Life should never be stagnant hence my quest for new knowledge will continue until my last breath. Wolf