Getting Rid of Flippant Language : Check Yourselves Here

[imperfect_cupcake]

I refer to people as female if I know they are female but I don't know their gender. They could be female and *not* women. How would I know? Many of my ex partners are female and Butch as their gender, not women. Or genderqueer. Or agender. But still female.

Female = biology
Women = gender

Two females (of whom having various different genders, but I'm lazy and not going to list them all, thus the use of "female" to acknowledge biology since I don't know gender specifically) with each other as still regarded as "lesbian" from the general public because the general public sees female = woman because they think gender and sex are the same thing.

There are so far 16 different chomasomal sexes. I am, as far as I know, a female. And since I work in medicine and have a background in biology, to me it sounds an accurate description.

Unless it's used by a bunch of frat boys when I walk in "hey, who fought the female". But then if they used "hey who brought the woman" or "who brought the lesbian" or "who brOught the femme" I would find that equally insulting. Mainly because I am being talked about in the third person to my face and being reduced to my presentation. Rather than a human.

I don't mind it when newspapers do it. "28 year old female" because it's factual and "28 year old male" is used as often. If someone is reporting facts, it doesn't bother me at all.

If someone is reducing me to my chromasomal sex, my gonads, or secondary sex characteristics - or my gender for that matter - when I am present, then I'll get pissed. I hate it when people say "hey ladies!" Or "hey girls!" It makes my skin crawl. Eugh.

So I'm the opposite, I guess!

I don't actually say anything, though as most people are just trying to be friendly and polite. And intent is important.

[meridiantoo]

Originally Posted by imperfect_cupcake

And intent is important.

This sums it up for me, I think...what the person intends behind a comment or label. I'm pretty easy-going. I don't get offended usually by someone calling me a bitch or whore or c**t or her or she or whatever. I don't care if someone calls me dude. But, I do pay attention to the intent behind the word(s). If someone means to be derogatory, then I try to look at the overall conversation going on. My bottom line is that if someone calls me something they intend to be a nasty remark, if I don't take offense, don't own it, it just rolls off my back, and I can move along.

I know this is easy for me to say though. I'm not butch or trans. Getting my gender confused never seems to be an issue. So, I know others go through this a lot more. So, I don't mean to take the topic lightly.