"straight" women and Butches.

[Lyte]

Nope, no straight or bi women for me. <-- I'm aware that's not always a popular position to take. For some it's viewed as prejudicial. Shrug! Even so... I figure relationships between lesbian women are dramatic enough... I don't feel the need to feed that fire with additional dynamics.

Last year I learned a two new words... hetroflexable and homoflexible. Meh?!

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Lyte

Nope, no straight or bi women for me. <-- I'm aware that's not always a popular position to take. For some it's viewed as prejudicial. Shrug! Even so... I figure relationships between lesbian women are dramatic enough... I don't feel the need to feed that fire with additional dynamics.

Last year I learned a two new words... hetroflexable and homoflexible. Meh?!

Can you elaborate on additional dynamics?

[Lyte]

Sure

Let me preface first by saying the best advise pops ever gave me was that life was too hard, too fast, too rough... too whatever... for anyone to rely on learning just from one's own mistakes. Better to learn too from the mistakes made by those around you. So...

When I was in my 20's I, like many of my butch friends, we were primarily interested in looks... gay ... bi... straight... didn't matter. If they were cute, if they were hot, we were game! I dated a few straight and bi women ... and it always turned into one mess or another. Within a few days... or a few weeks... I'd hear...

1. Oh no, I have a boyfriend!
2. You're sweet... but... umm.... I'm gonna go back to my boyfriend.
3. I just wanted to see what it was like.
4. It was a mistake... it was a sin!

After that happened to me.... maybe the second or third time... I swore ... more or less mockingly/jokingly.... off bi/straight women! I say mockingly/jokingly as if... I would really stay away from cute hot, girls of any preference! <-- Keep in mind I was in my 20's...young... dumb and full o'...

Anyway, so while I was in my "I'll never touch a straight / bi chic again!" funk... my butch friends weren't! They just continued on their not so merry way ... banging their heads against the same walls... over and over again. I watched and I learned. They all got the same responses I got along with lots of BS from the ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends who were typically lurking SOMEWHERE in the picture.

Guys are ...usually... fine if it's two femmes together but when it's his femme and a butch... nope, that's not okay!! My fellow butch friends would tell me how they'd get asked about packing.... asked what did they do to her... asked how big was their cock... if they were lucky... dumb ass questions were all they got. Some were not so lucky. I had two butch friends threatened and one beaten up by an ex-boyfriend. So, my half joking swear-off from bi's and straight women twenty years ago became permanent. No offense intended to anyone. You be you and I'll be me.

Simply put... I just find it unnecessary or worth the potential hassle that can come from it. There are plenty of wonderful lesbian women out there who share my culture ... my history... my experiences...etc... etc... which puts us much closer being on the same page than does straight or bi women.


EDIT: p.s. I'm assuming by "straight" we mean first-timers?

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Lyte

Sure

Let me preface first by saying the best advise pops ever gave me was that life was too hard, too fast, too rough... too whatever... for anyone to rely on learning just from one's own mistakes. Better to learn too from the mistakes made by those around you. So...

When I was in my 20's I, like many of my butch friends, we were primarily interested in looks... gay ... bi... straight... didn't matter. If they were cute, if they were hot, we were game! I dated a few straight and bi women ... and it always turned into one mess or another. Within a few days... or a few weeks... I'd hear...

1. Oh no, I have a boyfriend!
2. You're sweet... but... umm.... I'm gonna go back to my boyfriend.
3. I just wanted to see what it was like.
4. It was a mistake... it was a sin!

After that happened to me.... maybe the second or third time... I swore ... more or less mockingly/jokingly.... off bi/straight women! I say mockingly/jokingly as if... I would really stay away from cute hot, girls of any preference! <-- Keep in mind I was in my 20's...young... dumb and full o'...

Anyway, so while I was in my "I'll never touch a straight / bi chic again!" funk... my butch friends weren't! They just continued on their not so merry way ... banging their heads against the same walls... over and over again. I watched and I learned. They all got the same responses I got along with lots of BS from the ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends who were typically lurking SOMEWHERE in the picture.

Guys are ...usually... fine if it's two femmes together but when it's his femme and a butch... nope, that's not okay!! My fellow butch friends would tell me how they'd get asked about packing.... asked what did they do to her... asked how big was their cock... if they were lucky... dumb ass questions were all they got. Some were not so lucky. I had two butch friends threatened and one beaten up by an ex-boyfriend. So, my half joking swear-off from bi's and straight women twenty years ago became permanent. No offense intended to anyone. You be you and I'll be me.

Simply put... I just find it unnecessary or worth the potential hassle that can come from it. There are plenty of wonderful lesbian women out there who share my culture ... my history... my experiences...etc... etc... which puts us much closer being on the same page than does straight or bi women.


EDIT: p.s. I'm assuming by "straight" we mean first-timers?

No no talking about first timers. Well I'm not, at least.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Lyte

Sure

So, my half joking swear-off from bi's and straight women twenty years ago became permanent. No offense intended to anyone. You be you and I'll be me.

Simply put... I just find it unnecessary or worth the potential hassle that can come from it. There are plenty of wonderful lesbian women out there who share my culture ... my history... my experiences...etc... etc... which puts us much closer being on the same page than does straight or bi women.


EDIT: p.s. I'm assuming by "straight" we mean first-timers?

I absolutely agree that you be you and I'll be me.

In the interest of bisexuals though, I don't see them belonging lumped together with straight women. Half the time straight women don't belong lumped together with straight women.

But as far as straight women, I have had good and bad experiences so I totally get why someone might have a no dating policy when it comes to straight women. However, I have enjoyed a few wonderful relationships with bisexual women, relationships I am so grateful to have had. One in particular lasted over 6 years and taught me so much. The relationship taught me so much and the woman taught me even more. It would have been sad to have missed those experiences.

However, as you so aptly stated you be you and I'll be me. I just wanted to throw that out about bisexuality. Being bisexual is not the same as being heterosexual

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Miss Tick

I absolutely agree that you be you and I'll be me.

In the interest of bisexuals though, I don't see them belonging lumped together with straight women. Half the time straight women don't belong lumped together with straight women.

But as far as straight women, I have had good and bad experiences so I totally get why someone might have a no dating policy when it comes to straight women. However, I have enjoyed a few wonderful relationships with bisexual women, relationships I am so grateful to have had. One in particular lasted over 6 years and taught me so much. The relationship taught me so much and the woman taught me even more. It would have been sad to have missed those experiences.

However, as you so aptly stated you be you and I'll be me. I just wanted to throw that out about bisexuality though. Being bisexual is not the same as being heterosexual

Thank you! My gf is bisexual and she doesn't like being lumped in with straight women.

[Bubala]

Live and let others live. Let everyone be with whomever they choose to pursue, for whatever reason, reasons are theirs and theirs alone.

We all have our own sets of experience-based beliefs and prejudice, consciously or unconsciously driven predispositions to time after time choose a certain type, for whatever that "type" may be.

[BullDog]

Everyone is entitled to their preferences, but there are a lot of negative stereotypes about bisexuals that get perpetuated and that is not cool.

I prefer to be with a lesbian or queer-identified femme (which could definitely include a woman who is bisexual), but everyone has their own identity and personal journey they are on, so I stay open. Some women do come out later in life.