Lack of understanding of genderqueer

ClintB · 04-08-2017, 08:50 PM

Gender queer is a term that I'm starting to explore for myself.

Honestly I'm always a little late to my own party. Every since I can remember I was misgendered. In high school I tried girly but I never cared about cloths and frequently bought men's cloths... just because I liked them. I embraced an andogenous look when I came out, but girlfriends who were more butch than I pressured me to try be more feminine. It didn't work and it only made me feel more ashamed that I was failing girl school all over again... and self destructive behavior.

I'm trying to stop all the bullshit. I struggle to find a "professional" look that I am comfortable in, but in my day to day life I've cut my hair how I want, and now strictly wear men's clothing. I have some chest dysphoria I'm trying to figure out.

The problem with butch is that it's such a heavy label. I've not known a butch community that doesn't get into strong arming each other into stereotypes. I am sorry if that's totally wrong... it's just been my experience. I don't want another title I have to defend using. Gender queer is not at title I've fully adopted. I am in a confused state for gender... I'm not sure if I never was truly of girl, or if I've finally given up after being kicked out of the girl club so many times. :/

And that's a huge reason why I've come to these boards.

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04-08-2017, 08:50 PM	#24
ClintB Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch, questioning Preferred Pronoun?: Interested in your opinion Relationship Status: Downtrodden Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Traveler Posts: 68 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 255 Times in 65 Posts Rep Power: 2362244	Gender queer is a term that I'm starting to explore for myself. Honestly I'm always a little late to my own party. Every since I can remember I was misgendered. In high school I tried girly but I never cared about cloths and frequently bought men's cloths... just because I liked them. I embraced an andogenous look when I came out, but girlfriends who were more butch than I pressured me to try be more feminine. It didn't work and it only made me feel more ashamed that I was failing girl school all over again... and self destructive behavior. I'm trying to stop all the bullshit. I struggle to find a "professional" look that I am comfortable in, but in my day to day life I've cut my hair how I want, and now strictly wear men's clothing. I have some chest dysphoria I'm trying to figure out. The problem with butch is that it's such a heavy label. I've not known a butch community that doesn't get into strong arming each other into stereotypes. I am sorry if that's totally wrong... it's just been my experience. I don't want another title I have to defend using. Gender queer is not at title I've fully adopted. I am in a confused state for gender... I'm not sure if I never was truly of girl, or if I've finally given up after being kicked out of the girl club so many times. :/ And that's a huge reason why I've come to these boards.