Wanting to be a man of integrity: lost cause?

[Martina]

Originally Posted by cybersuebee

I'm going out on a limb here, having little rt contact with transmen, but I'm going at it from a developmental point of view. Most biomale children and adolescents DO get a slap upside the head - whether litteral or figurative - from the women, and hopefully the men in their lives when their posturing goes too far. It occurs to me that many if not most trans guys don't have the chance to be accepted as a male as a child or adolescent and therefore are "trying on" their maleness at a later age. Thus, the posturing you're talking about in their twenties and maybe beyond. Does this make any sense to you Linus?

ETA: I guess their male socialization has to come from guys like you Linus.

A friend of mine -- a cisgender man -- has always made that point. He says that being raised a man, your mother, sisters, and first girlfriends socialize you pretty thoroughly about what you can and cannot say without being an ass. A couple of his gay make friends have dated transmen, and he has worked in lgbtq organizations.

His point was that some transmen outraged his sense of propriety about what a man should and should not say about women. He said that the guys he met stood out as different from cisgender men, not because of how they looked or anything other than that.