Instant Turn-Offs

[Lovely]

Pushy and passive aggressive personalities.
Manipulative personalities.
People pleasers.

[JDeere]

Religious zealots who try to throw stuff in my face, ive had a date do this.

Folks who cant text back.

[homoe]

I think I've posted this before but it bears repeating!


A "know-it-all" personality and those who can NEVER admit they were wrong!

[imperfect_cupcake]

seeing *all* femmes as being of one mind:

ie: what do femmes like?
what do I do to make femmes happy?
what will make a femme turned on?
how do I treat a femme on a date?
etc.

Glad you asked. We at Femme Hive Mind Head Quarters Appreciate your interest and intent.

the worst one of all
"how do I talk to a femme?"

Oh I dunno, pretend she's a human and talk to her like you would other humans? If she doesn't respond to human interaction you might accidentally be talking to a store manikin.

if what you actually mean is "I'm afraid of talking to people who present feminine because I think we actually have nothing in common because of that femininity so I don't know how to converse with them - and I'll get rebuffed in my awkwardness"

Then maybe you need to go back and re-think the assumptions that femininity = nothing in common with you because femininity = the opposite of you.

You need to go way, WAY back. Back up. Cause you are living in the wrong venn diagram. And in that venn diagram, no femmes cross with that. They are separate circles. Life is FULL of venn diagrams. How about the other ones you reside in? As in, the other things you are, the other interests you have, other than being butch.

Fishing? Cosplay? Rock collecting? Your dog? Knitting? Researching your family background? Movies? Recent Podcasts you really like? Things you talk about to other humans besides femmes? talk to femmes about those things.

things you talk to humans about
femmes are humans
therefore you can talk to femmes about them

Will ALL femmes be interested?
NO.

I'm a gonna circle you back to the Hive Mind joke.
Are all humans interest in the shit you talk to them about? No. Some find that shit pretty boring.
Since femmes are human, I'm gonna say they are going to be about the same.

"What can I talk to femmes about so they don't reject me and I get the magic response I'm looking for?"

a) I'm going to refer you to the Hive Mind sarcasm point.

b) We all get rejected, we all have to learn how to deal with rejection - it's a part of growing up and being a healthy adult. If you can't deal with rejection of an initial conversation (it sends you into a precarious tail spin), you might want to look into that and maybe get some support to explore that. You need to deal with that first. As a shy extrovert, I know what I'm talking about. Don't make *other* people do your work.

c) There is no magic harry potter way in, except with people who like you for you being you because they find it charming. Those are the people (ie people who are also femme) that its easier with.


- Administrative Control Officer 89674 of Femme Hive Mind

[Orema]

People who are habitually late.

[homoe]

people who treat waitstaff as their personal servants....

[girl_dee]

Originally Posted by Orema

People who are habitually late.

BIG one for me!

[CherryWine]

Someone who blows hot and cold. Either you’re in or you’re out. It’s just one early indicator of controlling behavior. In some instances, it’s indicative of a narcissistic personality. Regardless, it’s a sure-fire way to get me to run in the opposite direction.

[VintageFemme]

Apathy.
Low self esteem.
Arrogance.
Self centeredness, not to be confused with self worth and esteem. I think it's great when someone has a healthy sense of self worth and takes pride in that, however those who can't see beyond themselves and their world and are oblivious to you and yours; that to me is such a drag. I move on immediately.
Mean people.
Those who want to tell you about how much money they have, who they know, etc. I'm never impressed.
Close minded people and those who say, "I can't" when they really mean, "I won't"
No sense of humor. That's probably the biggest turn off and alternatively, the biggest turn on when someone does make me laugh. You know that laugh that lingers long after it's over and you remember and laugh again.

[clay]

Really self centered people

Mean people who hurt others unjustly!

Arrogance...I say I am cocky confident, but am NOT cocky arrogant...BIG diff!

Alcohol excess

Cruelty to others & animals

Not being true to your core values

Conceit

[Reach *BANNED*]

When out on the date- and my date's phone rings- in the middle of the meal- and she answers- only to tell me that it is her ex asking advice about something.

Seriously?

Oh, and she continues to eat while talking to said ex.

Did I mention that was the ONLY date?

[homoe]

...

Negative & jaded, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, folks.............

[Tuff Stuff]

A mother cat who eats the head off her new born kitten.

Ya know if a human mother did the same..that would definitely be an instant turn off for me.

I think people are human beings with many faults and they don't always get it "right".
I can't tell others they better be perfect, because I know for a fact that I'm not.

Just don't eat your kids head off, cause that's like,not cool..and I wouldn't want to be around you after that.