What is on your mind

[Orema]

Mammogram. I need to call and make an appointment. I'm usually on this, but have let this go for too long. I will make an appointment later today when the painters leave.

I also need to donate some blood. I have 0 negative and it's helpful to lots of people. I've let that slide, too. Will reach out to the red cross this week.

I guess health is on my mind.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Driving. I bought a second walker to keep outside in my carport. This means I can now get to the car, and then back inside the house, on my own without anyone's help. I'm much stronger now than I was when I last fell in this spot, but it still feels a little dangerous to walk up the steps from the carport to the house. It's only two steps, but there's no handrail, just a wall.

Even so, I'm going to Publix tomorrow to pick up a prescription, and I'm also going to drive through the produce stand. I'll be home before the boy leaves for work, so that takes care of the safety factor. At least I won't have to wake him up to help me get to the car before I leave.

A little more independence is a good thing.

[Bèsame*]

Hurricane Season 2025

Last year, after loosing my Mom and then 2 major hurricanes, totally stressed me out. I will not put myself in that situation this year. I was ready, but I'll be better prepared going forward

I just went thru all my paperwork. I eliminated a lot of back pages of foreign languages. Streamed lined what is really needed and put them in a simple accordion file. It was easier, because it's just my stuff and not double bookkeeping with Mom's stuff. However I have a crap load of stuff that needs to be shredded.

Slowly I'm freezing water that I've filtered. It will act as a freezing element and drinking water later

Making lists and more lists. Things I need and things I know I want to take with, if I evacuate .

I'm watching the Atlantic and the Gulf closely.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Originally Posted by Bèsame*

Hurricane Season 2025

Last year, after loosing my Mom and then 2 major hurricanes, totally stressed me out. I will not put myself in that situation this year. I was ready, but I'll be better prepared going forward

I just went thru all my paperwork. I eliminated a lot of back pages of foreign languages. Streamed lined what is really needed and put them in a simple accordion file. It was easier, because it's just my stuff and not double bookkeeping with Mom's stuff. However I have a crap load of stuff that needs to be shredded.

Slowly I'm freezing water that I've filtered. It will act as a freezing element and drinking water later

Making lists and more lists. Things I need and things I know I want to take with, if I evacuate .

I'm watching the Atlantic and the Gulf closely.

This is really smart. I'm going to put it all on my to-do list; these are great ideas. For the past several years, the hurricane weather has been travelling up the east coast and wreaking all kinds of havoc. It caused a real mess in North Carolina last year that they are still recovering from. I personally had a tree fall on my house several years ago and lost my chimney and a bedroom. It took over a year to work it all out with the insurance company, and I only recovered about 25% of the total cost, in the end. I didn't qualify for any help from FEMA. Over a year went by before all the repairs were finished.

All this stuff happens yearly now, yet we all (in north Georgia, anyway) act like no serious weather is ever going to come north of Florida. The day a hurricane actually hits Florida, and all the roads are crowded and hotels are full of people fleeing Florida, that's when people who live around here start buying up all the bottled water, eggs, milk and bread. A few people might remember to bring in their lawn furniture and other loose items from the outdoors.

And now, the Navy is no longer sharing satellite weather information with NOAA, and weather forecasters will no longer have access to predictive hurricane information. FEMA has been dismantled, so there will be no coordinating organization between the states or help from federal agencies like the Coast Guard.

The more I write here, the more frantic and nervous I get about the whole thing. Not only am I putting this stuff on my to-do list, I'm sharing it with my friends, family and local Facebook groups.

[easygoingfemme]

Originally Posted by Bèsame*

Hurricane Season 2025

Last year, after loosing my Mom and then 2 major hurricanes, totally stressed me out. I will not put myself in that situation this year. I was ready, but I'll be better prepared going forward

I just went thru all my paperwork. I eliminated a lot of back pages of foreign languages. Streamed lined what is really needed and put them in a simple accordion file. It was easier, because it's just my stuff and not double bookkeeping with Mom's stuff. However I have a crap load of stuff that needs to be shredded.

Slowly I'm freezing water that I've filtered. It will act as a freezing element and drinking water later

Making lists and more lists. Things I need and things I know I want to take with, if I evacuate .

I'm watching the Atlantic and the Gulf closely.

I remember this from last year. You were really in a rough time. You're smart to be so prepared and I'm sure there is a mental health satisfaction to know you're doing what you can to be prepared. I hope you don't need the preparation but, if you do, you'll be as ready as you can.

[Bèsame*]

Is no news good news?

I'm waiting results of my nuclear update scan of my thyroid, still.

It's taking too long, I say!

[easygoingfemme]

Bèsame*, did you get your results yet?

On my mind: I'm getting a new foster dog next weekend. She's a 1-2 year old pit mix. (Ugh, my favorite!). I'm excited to have her for as long as I have her.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

Originally Posted by easygoingfemme

On my mind: I'm getting a new foster dog next weekend. She's a 1-2 year old pit mix. (Ugh, my favorite!). I'm excited to have her for as long as I have her.

Good for you! Pitties are really so sweet. My pittie/boxer mix is currently in the hallway, trying to untie the knot in her towel to get the treats out.

[Bèsame*]

Originally Posted by easygoingfemme

Bèsame*, did you get your results yet?

I did. Thank you for asking. I'm normal, nothing to go forward with. Yeah!

And...the results of my MRI of my left knee...torn meniscus. Along with arthritis. I got a cortisone shot right in the middle of my knee. Not a fix, but it has relieved the pain. Im still icing my strained hamstring. Continuing with physical therapy, hence joining the gym. I did see, the right knee. Not good. I can definitely understand the crunching and popping, it's bone on bone grinding. As soon as I can recoup from the left leg, the right is priority.

[easygoingfemme]

Bèsame*, I'm glad to hear that!

On my mind. I believe my kiddo will be getting engaged this week or next. Their partner asked me over the winter to make a ring box for the proposal and said they were shooting for this July. I made a nice ring box for them.

So fast forward to this week. My kiddo is super sick. I was over at their apartment this morning bringing soup and tea and shower steamers. Their partner is still hopeful that they can go out for dinner on Wednesday where there would be a proposal. I have a feeling that's not going to happen. I just suggested to their partner that, if they have the rest of their life together, it would be wise to wait another week until they are both able to enjoy it. I get the excitement but... I hope they wait until they both are healthy and can enjoy the moment.

[GeorgiaMa'am]

The boy's birthday is coming up Wednesday. We're both going to get our hair cut that day because it's the only day I could get appointments. Then we will go to eat at the local LGBTQ+ sports bar, because they have delicious food, and that's where we always go to eat after we get our hair done and we look good.

That evening we are going to experiment with making cherry fried pies in the air fryer. The boy loves cherry pie and he is convinced it can be done in the air fryer. It will be an experiment for both of us; we shall see.

He also wants to go see a movie in the movie theater for his birthday, but we will do that later in the week. Trying to do everything on Wednesday would be too much for both of us. Besides, when he sees what I got him for his birthday (a ring light for his video making projects), I know he's going to want to try it out.

[easygoingfemme]

GeorgiaMa'am that sounds like a lovely birthday plan! I hope you both enjoy to the fullest.


Well my kiddo has COVID and we're pretty sure their partner is coming down with it as of this morning. So I'd say their engagement is probably stalled by a week or so. As is the birthday party I was throwing for my kiddo on Saturday. How is my child 26 years old?

[cinnamongrrl]

Starting my new job on Monday. I’m going back into the medical assisting fray. I’ve greatly enjoyed the easy, breezy home health care segue for the last 6 months. But mama needs a new car. And the pay for part time work does not make that feasible…..

[Nat]

I have learned that I have DID. There’s like 52+ personalities in this skull apparently. Some dudes, some chicks, some who don’t care to gender themselves. The main issue is - I don’t have cohesive memories. And I act a lot of different ways and don’t know it. DID is believed to be caused by early childhood trauma, and it is not in the realm of psychosis but more of a neurodevelopmental thing as a result of trauma. It’s sort of like a partitioned hard drive - each of us has our own operating system. A lot of memories are shared, but we have a lot of dissociative amnesia as well.

Anyway, the main reason we are making this post is because something brought us back here today (I don’t remember what - see above for why I don’t.) and there were a lot of nostalgia feels and I just felt like maybe those of you who remember me - if I did or said things that didn’t seem to track, this is probably why. If I forgot you, it’s not because you were unimportant to us.

This community and the dash site were so crucial (and at times painful) in helping us understand so much about ourselves, queerness, transness, racism, classism, ableism, including many very difficult conversations here and on the dash site. Conversations I still am seeing echoes of in the current reality where big hate seems to be the name of the game a lot of the time.

Even though the discourse is traumatizing sometimes, I’m so glad for getting to have those conversations in butch-femme space back then just so I’m not as dumb now as I was.

I was 27 years old when I came out as a femme lesbian and found the dash site. Now I’m 47 years old, transmasc, somewhat butch-appearing - our femmes stopped being primary fronters around 2016.

I went through a breakup of an 8 year long relationship at the end of 2023, which was around the time I began to realize we have DID. I’m possibly slow-pacedly romantically pursuing someone currently, but overall I no longer care about dating, looking for a partner, sex, flirting, interpersonal drama, or anything that’s not my business.

I think it’s kinda funny how orientation became such an organizing principle for me in my twenties, and now I think I’m likely to prefer hermit-hood anyway, despite my orientation. I don’t even know what to call my orientation these days other than queer.

My current love interest is a bisexual femme as was my last ltr, and the last two lovers I’ve had were transmasc and nonbinary. They are/were all great.

I’m glad we have had a fair amount of wonderful lovers - we don’t always have access to our memories of them, but when one shows up on the big screen of the mind, we appreciate having those memories.

We have loved so hard, and been loved so hard and nothing lasted - but for those of us who carry significant childhood trauma and attachment wounds, I think sometimes relating is this wonderful thing that happens in the small partitions of time we have before the trauma takes it away again. Kinda like how the ocean will leave new gifts on the shore when the tide goes out but may take them back when the tide comes back in. It’s just a world of waves and and tides and shifting sands for those of us who have never been able to stabilize. Lots of fond memories of people we’ve loved who were prolly in as much pain as we were as well. Everyone in their private hells taking a break to connect and enjoy each other.

We have come to like our life alone with our pets and starting to get to know and understand each other on the inside (as we are able to.) There was a time when we always wanted to know the tea and here was the first place we came to every morning and the last clicks of the night as well - y’all kept me company during some of the hardest, saddest, most despairing, loneliest times in my younger life and we really appreciate the folks here who made it just a little easier to get through the day.

I don’t know if I will be back (but this isn’t a flounce at all - I just don’t know if my mind will bring me back here). I don’t know if I will remember writing this. But if we ever hurt you, it probably wasn’t intentional - we absolutely hate hurting people. But our forgetfulness and sudden changes were often things that harmed the bonds we formed here as well as the rest of the world. I hope I will be back though at least from time to time to check in on folks.

Also I’m still so sad about Juney. And also impressed with her bravery.

- Nat/e