The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[Gayla]

For me, it kind of goes back to what I said in the other thread. We all come here from different places. While I can't say it's a free pass thing, I think I'm more likely to give the benefit of the doubt when I'm aware of external factors. From that honesty place, I also jump less quickly when it's someone I "know".

I think every one of us could find some excuse when we get called out for saying "bad" things. From physical factors to emotional issues to just plain having a bad day, there are always reasons. I guess the question for me is if I say something asshatish and then follow up with an apology and a "having a bad day" excuse, is that any more or less of a pass than someone who offers an apology and a "TBI" excuse.

All that being said, I think we each have a responsibility to participate on an appropriate level. I venture to guess that most of us have a reasonable idea of what appropriate is, or we learn very quickly. For those that truly don't know, and aren't capable of learning for various reasons, I'm really not sure what the answer is for that. I don't want to say, don't participate but I also can't see just letting someone run amok across the site because they "don't know better".

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by gayla

For me, it kind of goes back to what I said in the other thread. We all come here from different places. While I can't say it's a free pass thing, I think I'm more likely to give the benefit of the doubt when I'm aware of external factors. From that honesty place, I also jump less quickly when it's someone I "know".

I think every one of us could find some excuse when we get called out for saying "bad" things. From physical factors to emotional issues to just plain having a bad day, there are always reasons. I guess the question for me is if I say something asshatish and then follow up with an apology and a "having a bad day" excuse, is that any more or less of a pass than someone who offers an apology and a "TBI" excuse.

All that being said, I think we each have a responsibility to participate on an appropriate level. I venture to guess that most of us have a reasonable idea of what appropriate is, or we learn very quickly. For those that truly don't know, and aren't capable of learning for various reasons, I'm really not sure what the answer is for that. I don't want to say, don't participate but I also can't see just letting someone run amok across the site because they "don't know better".

Thank you Gayla. Great post, and I totally get what you are saying.

I really really hope that my OP wasn't shaming in any way of those members who do go out of their ways for people. Because if it did? I failed at communicating. I know that people come from amazing places of love and compassion and empathy/sympathy when choosing to be aware of those of us who are differently-abled.

I believe in my heart that everyone is capable of learning. I think in the online context it can be more challenging to get a person like me to "hear" you when you come to me and tell me that I am being an asshat. I have to work super hard to be able to hear. Conversely, that is a choice I make. I choose to be open to criticism, new ideas and different ways of doing things. I choose to not be afraid to fail (and fail miserably sometimes) in a public arena.

There was a time when I chose not to do all of the above. Either way, it is an internal process and choice.

Amok amok amok amok! (sorry. i couldn't help it. i love that word.