Hate crime close to home....what is your take....

[Lillie]

I have never flown a rainbow flag or put a sticker on my car to show who I am..I am a femme and therefore people assume I am straight..Im also a mother of an adult son and a teenage daughter..so the assumptions are plenty that I am.

My partner and I live in a nice area..close to the snowbirds..we get some double takes but over the past couple of years we have noticed how many gays are actually up here in the piece of suburban paradise..we live in a great subdivision with fantastic neighbors..and those neighbors who know us..know we are gay..I mean hello! lol.....but I do live a quiet comfortable life..and the hetros are not always ready for woman like us ...I am most comfortable in my backyard with my fellow gay friends or going to the lesbian bars..but we fit in whereever we go..

I have never chosen to fly a flag other than the american, marine and airforce one..but my blood is rainbow color and I am gay and proud and privledged to love the woman I have and be loved by them..

I pray that couple can recover from such hate....but I would guess they will since they are going on 16 years togehter....that in itself if powerful!

God bless them

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by Rockinonahigh

PrincessBell..they say if it dosent break u it makes u stronger,as far as I see it sometimes the price is to high when ppl dont have recorse of some kind for crap that goes on,maybe one day this kind of crap wont be an issue but it will be a long time comeing no matter what the situation is.

I agree with you...it will take a lot longer and a lot more effort than our generation. I pray that the younger ones may have a clearer path by some of us around here taking a stand in some small way...that is my wish anyway.

Originally Posted by Lillie

I have never flown a rainbow flag or put a sticker on my car to show who I am..I am a femme and therefore people assume I am straight..Im also a mother of an adult son and a teenage daughter..so the assumptions are plenty that I am.

My partner and I live in a nice area..close to the snowbirds..we get some double takes but over the past couple of years we have noticed how many gays are actually up here in the piece of suburban paradise..we live in a great subdivision with fantastic neighbors..and those neighbors who know us..know we are gay..I mean hello! lol.....but I do live a quiet comfortable life..and the hetros are not always ready for woman like us ...I am most comfortable in my backyard with my fellow gay friends or going to the lesbian bars..but we fit in whereever we go..

I have never chosen to fly a flag other than the american, marine and airforce one..but my blood is rainbow color and I am gay and proud and privledged to love the woman I have and be loved by them..

I pray that couple can recover from such hate....but I would guess they will since they are going on 16 years togehter....that in itself if powerful!

God bless them

You ARE very fortunate to live in a great place like that. I wish we all did. But, reality is we don't. I agree they will recover and be stronger for it. On Lady Pamela's link there is a site to donate clothing or food...they lost everything. It appears that there are some organizations that are providing help to them. Thank goodness. There are some GREAT people who live here...but honestly it is NOT gay friendly at all and will be decades before it is..imo. But, there is always hope.

[Blade]

While it is a shame such heinous crimes exist, the reality is that they do. You never know who might be a perpetrator. Being "who you are" openly, I guess depends upon how safe you feel in doing so. I don't think it matters how many of us are visible, to ignorant people. They will still be ignorant. History shows us this with race, and religion.

I think publicizing the crime comes with good and bad, as would having rainbow paraphernalia, on your house or car or whatever, if you live in a place that would be deemed unsafe. You're not going to be assaulted or your property vandalized by those you feel safe around. It will likely be folks you don't know. In the case of this article the women had already been harassed by the neighbors. So what do ya do, move? I don't know. Report each incident would be my best guess, so that it is documented.

Many generations will have to be educated before hate crimes and prejudice against the GLBT community are taken more seriously by law enforcement and society in general.

Quick comment/question for those posting in reference to displaying rainbow paraphernalia. If you were ever married did you ever fly a divorced/single flag or sticker on your car? When you buy a new TV, DVD, stereo, game system etc...do you put the empty box out by the road for all the thieves riding by to see that you have new equipment? In essence what I'm saying is do you make yourself a target? Be safe not stupid, if you have any doubt how your community perceives queerness then be safe.
(disclaimer)you being you general you. Not anyone specifically.

[Glenn]

I WILL fly my flag anytime /anywhere I choose AFTER I've taken proper precautions(Insurance) in protecting myself. Peaceloving/Sweetgiving will keep us here. We have to let go of our fear.

[iamkeri1]

I have two general areas I want to talk about. One is about rainbow flags. I was married for many years to an FTM man. We were perceived as straight by everyone we knew outside our families. That perception of me is pretty intact today, so I hear what straight people have to say uncensored. I was at a fair in Michigan with a straight friend of mine. I noticed she had a rainbow sticker on her car. I asked her if a gay friend of hers had given it to her. She looked at me like "hunh?" (She seemed to have no idea at all that the rainbow flag was a gay symbol) Then she said it was a sticker form a Christian group she belonged to. Also two other times I have seen rainbow decos on cars and when I looked at them close they were for Jesse Jackson's rainbow coalition (which does include gays, but is not a gay group.) Then also one of my neighbors was flying a big decorative rainbow flag, but under it was a little leprecaun with a pot of gold, lol

Anyway the point is many to most straight folks do not associate the rainbow with gay issues. We agonize over everything we do, we worry, we are afraid (and I totally include myself in that group), but if you had any idea how seldom straight people ever have a thought about gay people, you wouldn't worry so much.)

The other part of this is a hate crime that was directed at me and my husband about 17-18 years ago. I tried to find a link for this but was unsuccesssful, but this is how it began. A lesbian couple was murdered by a neighbor because they put up a fence between his propery and theirs after years of bad feelings between they and he. He shot them both at fairly close range with a shotgun. It was in the news for weeks and as I remember, the guy committed suicide a while later.

Well we were having a property line dispute with our neighbors a few counties away. We had moved, so we were not at that house all the time, but we were keeping it because it was a waterfront property. One weekend we went out there and found a note pinned to our door. In the envelope (anonymous, of course) was an article with big bold headlines that read. "Lesbian lovers mudered over property dispute."

We took it very seriously and so did the police when we called them. They interviewed all our neighbors and warned them to stay away from us. The guy we were pretty sure did it came over to talk to us saying he didn't do it. (To this day he still has never come to understand the phrase, "get off my property" - gee I got that when I was five or six. Thought most folks did.) I told him I didn't believe him, that he had harrased us for years, but that he should be careful from now on because now the police were aware of what he had been doing. He continued to be a pain in the @#%, but we were never attacked in any other than a verbal way. Both hubby and I were pretty good with our mouths too, so we didn't take it lying down, but it did make it unpleasant to go to that house.

I join with others in saying, Live your life as much as possible as you wish to live it, but protect yourself. These crimes tear at our guts. I am so sorry for your pain. Just be careful in this time of stress and anger that you don't expose yourself in ways you will regret later.
Many hugs and smooches,
Keri

[Bard]

When I was with my ex she had a issue with the way I looked to her butch is a dirty word, she wanted me to be more middle of the road so I did not stand out. To my shame I did this grew my hair out and such so I passed if you will. well I am finally being true to myself and yes she still has issues with it says I embaress our daughter ect. but I must be who I am funny thing is that it does not matter I am still treated the same at work or when I am on military duty. hate exsists and those that spew it must be some unhappy folks I feel sorry for them they know not what they do...

[princessbelle]

You all rock!!!

You give me so much to think about and so many different ways to look at things. It totally WARMS my heart to hear your stories and your thoughts on whether or not flying a flag or having a sticker vs. no ones buisness and no one really cares.

I suppose the bottom line is it all depends on how you look at it. Keeping an open mind and heart while feeling so angry is what I am trying to do. You all have helped me do this.

Please keep the stories coming...and there is another thread started that has a poll about all the "being visable" stuff...it's great.

Today i am a little calmer about it all, still saddens and angers me, but I know for every bad seed out there, there are 2 good ones.

The glass is half full.......and my glass will always be the color of a rainbow even when it appears clear to the rest of the world