So what does being Bisexual, mean to you ?

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by MsMerrick

Note, first of all.. This is a question for people who have identified as Bisexual, currently id as such, and or those that think they may be, but aren't sure.
My question, really has more to do with..
Does it mean you are attracted to both males & females.. and if co, sexually, emotionally, a bit of both, just one.. or ..neither or..something else altogether?
I have always thought of myself as bisexual and , in what I call..strict Kinesyian definition, I am. I have enjoyed sex with and been attracted to, both males & females.. On the other hand, I am a tad mature.lol and at this stage of the game, aka life.. I am rarely attracted to anyone..
Also, several years ago, talking to a Butch friend, s/he was talking about having enjoyed sex with men, in hir younger days.. but finding that emotionally, who she went to, for comfort, to talk about a triumph, etc etc, were her female lovers, not her male ones.. a light bulb went off in my head, and I though ohmigawd, maybe I really am a Lesbian !
And yet.. .. I really don't know, if someone were to put a metaphysical gun to my head and say Ok, WHICH IS IT ...
A couple people were defining themselves as bisexual, and others talking about defining as bisexual, early on..then that changing ...
I hope I don't have to say this too often but
If you define bisexual as a disease ridden whore.. You might want to not post in this thread, though reading it, might be a n education ..
At least I hope it will

I guess part of what I am getting at..is it all about sex?
Seriously ..
Or is there something else, and if so, is that always divided as equally or randomly, as it were..
Is it about who we go to ? Who we date, who we are attracted to ?
Anybody want to go next ?

No, it isn't all about sex... wasn't and isn't for me, anyway. Even in the throws of raging hormones back in the day.

I did go through "that transitional” period of being bi when I was really lesbian many years ago as a young adult (early 20's- I know, I was actually slow!). It was really about denial and fear at that time.

I was heterosexual prior to this and continued to be sexual and loved men until nearly 30. Then, it was the combination of the physical and emotional energy that was most satisfying with women for me ht took hold. It remains that way, however, I have never felt negative about my relationships with men. Sex was good with them, too. Probably because I had good relationships with them outside of the sexual as well just as I have with women. And while I was bi, I was poly. This changed when I was with a particular woman and reached a developmental stage in which monogamy and commitment merged in a positive way for me (No, I don‘t hold that commitment is only within monogamous relationships). Been that way ever since.

To me, bisexuality is just one mode on the continuum of sexuality. I have even had a period in my life that I felt asexual - and it felt right. LOL, I guess I don't have a great need to badger myself about where I am sexually and never have since I became sexually active with others, or outside of myself (we come to sexual experience long before sharing it with someone else- pun intended ! Unless, unfort6unately, we are abused). As I look back (as well as today), I have just never been alarmed about any stage/mode of sexuality I have gone through.

I do know that I am at the core, lesbian and simply prefer women most of all on all of the levels of relating intimately (which goes beyond the physical for me) and have for many years now. This has been what I have personally felt to be sexual maturity for myself- a multi-dimensional array of sensation (including all of the senses) and perception physically, emotionally and spiritually with a woman. It’s not the same for everyone. Could that change? I doubt it, but, one never knows. I have arrived at a place (yes, it is about aging) in which I believe anything is possible.

One's character, content and carriage is what brings eroticism to me. So, I believe that may be part of why my sexual history has been heterosexual, bisexual, asexual and lesbian- it always hinged on these essential features of attraction and synergy for me, not necessarily one's gender.

Since I have become comfortable with what puts me in a state of butch, I would have to say that it is the state of femme that draws me more at this time of my life. Again, a late comer.

I had a wonderful fairly long-term relationship with a bi woman that was married and had an "open" marriage. It simply fit that particular time of my life and I believe that this was her natural and real state of sexuality. She really was equally attracted to and interested in both men and women and remains so. During this time, I was not bi.

I also think I am just more fluid in matters of sexuality and sex due to age and life’s experiences.

This will be an interesting thread, I think! And I also hope that there is no bi bashing.

[Lynn]

Even though I was married for 20 years to a man, and I had other significant relationships with men before that, I do not consider myself to be bisexual. In all of those relationships, there was love and affection, but, finally, no real sexual attraction after the first rush. To me, love is something I can feel for anyone, regardless of sex or gender. But, sexual attraction, especially sustained and able to grow deeper, is quite specific. After so many years of lukewarm sexual feelings, which had a great deal to do with how I ended up feeling about myself and my body, it is a relief and joy to feel the intensity of sexual attraction that I experience in my relationship. Love in a relationship is important, but so is sex, for me. Being identified as a lesbian describes me as someone who prefers to partner with women, on all levels, even if I'm also someone who could love a man. In the past, there have been times that I considered myself bisexual, but I've become more aware of the distinctions in my feelings and realize that this doesn't describe me, truly.

[Gemme]

As I evolved in my sexuality, I identified as bisexual as a bridge, I suppose. I can't say for sure if I was truly bisexual or just afriad to give up something familiar....comfortable, if not exactly what I wanted and needed.

For me, men (FD, bio, as is...whatever term you feel comfortable with) were easy. I knew what I had to do do get what I wanted from them and I could easily remove myself emotionally from them.

Women.....butches......transgenders of one flavor or another.....were very new to me. Frightening and exciting, like being in an open field during an intense lightning storm. The hairs on the back of my neck raised, slightly breathless, knowing that it is dangerous, but not giving a damn because it. felt. good. Right.

I know some folks say bisexuals are indecisive and just can't choose one or the other and some folks say bisexuals are greedy and want it all, and those folks may be right in specific cases but it's not for anyone else to judge. We have different friends for different reasons.....some make us happy and content and some are exciting and push us past our known limits.....why can't it be the same for lovers?

[Sachita]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

To me, bisexuality is just one mode on the continuum of sexuality. I have even had a period in my life that I felt asexual - and it felt right. LOL, I guess I don't have a great need to badger myself about where I am sexually and never have since I became sexually active with others, or outside of myself (we come to sexual experience long before sharing it with someone else- pun intended ! Unless, unfort6unately, we are abused). As I look back (as well as today), I have just never been alarmed about any stage/mode of sexuality I have gone through.

I do know that I am at the core, lesbian and simply prefer women most of all on all of the levels of relating intimately (which goes beyond the physical for me) and have for many years now. This has been what I have personally felt to be sexual maturity for myself- a multi-dimensional array of sensation (including all of the senses) and perception physically, emotionally and spiritually with a woman. It’s not the same for everyone. Could that change? I doubt it, but, one never knows. I have arrived at a place (yes, it is about aging) in which I believe anything is possible.

.

This soooooo resonated with me. I have not been with a lot of bio-men but I never shut that door not even today and its been over 20 years. I was married to a wonderful man. I loved him dearly but spiritually I couldnt connect. In fact he told me. He sat me down and told me I was lesbian. I always labeled myself as bisexual. Nothing soared me like the connection I had with women but at some point I missed masculine energy and would start spending time with men. My time with men was always more sexual then affectionate. Through the years I tapped into butch-femme and that has been a whole other journey. There has been many roads in my sexual evolution and today I try and avoid labels. At this point I'm in the middle and don't write anything out. Its all about the connection. The one thing that is constant, or so it seems, is my alpha presence. I don't feel like I need to control anyone but I also dont want any tension over it. This has been a battle no matter which sex I've been with. It's took me into a asexual space before. There does seem to be an energy that ignites me and it can be a man or woman- adoration, devotion and a desire to please me. That always seems to "wake" me up. It doesnt even have to be bdsm, anything hardcore. But I do notice that with biomen, its more a comfort zone, loving the energy but not taking it sexual per se beyond mind fuckery. With women, butches, etc it is always leading to serious fucking.