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12-11-2009, 09:37 PM
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#1 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
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Quote:
Anywho, they are going back to a lovely blue with lime green stripe on their jersey shirts but....or shall I say BUTT, they have decided to KEEP the pants from the previous uniformed costumes since the material...and this comes from their head coach, so you KNOW it's legit..."feels better on their legs". I love it! The Seattle Seahawks are definitely in touch with their feelings. 
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12-11-2009, 09:57 PM
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#2 | |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Diva Preferred Pronoun?:
Diva 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
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Quote:
Who knew we had a gay team in the NFL!  |
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12-11-2009, 10:27 PM
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#3 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM'
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,631
Thanks: 182,498
Thanked 107,876 Times in 25,666 Posts
Rep Power: 21474889 |
Quote:
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12-13-2009, 10:10 AM
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#4 |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Diva Preferred Pronoun?:
Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
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Good morning, boys and girls.....
It's time for a holiday story from your Auntie Diva!!  Simmah down, now...... Yes....yesterday was a wonderful day for your Auntie Diva, boys and girls! First, the excitement began when your Auntie Diva visited the Amazon.com and ordered her own Christmas present ~ The Bread Bible by Rose Beranbaum. Let us pray, boys and girls, let us pray.  Because, as we all know, good bread can be a religious experience.  Auntie Diva kills herself with her sharp~edged humor. Party on, Garth.  When the excitement from that even died down, I received a message from your cousin PupSchmoopieSchmoop (she is distantly related, as you may recall, to SnoopDoggieDog) and your cousin OilCan......did I want to go for a drive to take in the Christmas lights in The Hill Country? Now, at first, boys and girls, your Auntie Diva finds herself suspicious of ANYone asking her to 'go for a drive in the country'.......I have SEEN The Godfather! But this was your cousin Schmoop, after all. She was just being respectful of the elderly ~ like I used to be of your Great Aunt Lois ~ knowing she doesn't get out much and likes to go for a Sunday afternoon drive on a foggy Saturday night.  So, I was excited to go and wore my best floral and bedazzled Christmas sweater and Sunday pill~box hat (yes, boys and girls, the one with the little netting with the rhinestones) and off we went.....into the foggy night! Of course, I am in the backseat, which gave me license to navigate for your cousin OilCan (who IS from your California/Mississippi area and cannot possibly know his way around our Texas Hill Country) and your cousin Schmoop (we're not sure WHERE she comes from, but she DOES live in your Cedar Park....I always need an extra shot of oxygen before your Auntie Diva travels way [the hell] up there!). We drive through the Dripping Springs. We did not stop for their oh~so~yummy Vodka, much to your Auntie Diva's dismay. What kind of trip WAS this!??!?!?! Then we got to The Johnson City, hometown to our beloved President Johnson, but not really, because his ranch is further up the road apiece. Those townspeople just wanted a piece of the action. Jus' sayin'..... The fog was thick, boys and girls, and your cousin Schmoop was using her cell phone to get directions.....we thought we had gone too far, so we turned around and backtracked, only to find out that we had not gone far enough. Cousin OilCan was unCANny in his knowledge of the turning~around places. Auntie Diva was impressed, even though many times, the turning~around place shook your Auntie Diva's teeth right out of her head. Pillbox remained intact, however. Yea, little Pillbox hat, yea! So we found our first destination....a country drive~through Christmas lights extravaganza!!!!!!  There was a slight problem, boys and girls in that the path which these good folks created was many times only wide enough for one car to pass. But that's ok....we tuned our radio to 1498.7 AM and enjoyed Bobby Darin singing All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth, accompanied by the Trans~Static Universal Orchestra. The tension mounted, boys and girls, as we approached the LIVE NATIVITY SCENE. Before we got too close, Gabriel was giving instructions to Joseph and the shepherd standing on a box (it was a child, but they put him on a box to make him appear taller....how many 7'9" shepherds with the face of a child do YOU know, boys and girls? That's what I thought!).....and, as cousin OilCan's automotive vehicle reached a certain place, Gabriel cued them and they magically FROZE in Christmas card goodness.......I blame cousin Schmoop for not bringing tissues. It was a tender moment. Yet, I watched the angel Gabriel's eyes......they followed our car like a scary Harry Potter painting...... I cannot tell you, boys and girls just how exciting it was to drive through the display.....the mobile home covered in hundreds of pale blue lights with the animated mailbox was particularly touching! But as we neared the end of the drive, what MOOved us most of all was the lit~up Santa on the stagecoach.....the cedar fence behind him.....and seeing the cows on the other side.......mocking us. Only in Texas,boys and girls.....only in Texas! The saga will continue......oh no.....You KNOW there's more! Signed, Your Auntie Diva, who channelled great Aunt Lois with her pillbox hat |
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12-13-2009, 10:44 AM
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#5 |
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Member
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Disobedient Thing... Preferred Pronoun?:
Rebel Soul in the blood..Heathen as well Relationship Status:
Marked and Loved....I Belong to Her.... 
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Location: Omaha
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LMFAO
damn i wish i was there that sounds like a friggin hilarious ride |
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12-13-2009, 10:48 AM
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#6 | |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Diva Preferred Pronoun?:
Diva
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chez Diva
Posts: 11,879
Thanks: 9,263
Thanked 17,175 Times in 5,239 Posts
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Quote:
OMG we laughed SO hard, cousin OvenMits! Yes.....you post, you're adopted! Cuz that's the way we roll here in Auntie Diva's House of Horrors Family!  Yes....it's like a pointed stick, right through your schnozz..... |
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12-13-2009, 02:51 PM
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#7 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Queer/lesbian femme Preferred Pronoun?:
She/her Relationship Status:
Married to my love 08.15.15 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Indianapolis, IN
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Hahaha! I love it!
More! More!  ~cara |
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02-10-2010, 08:24 PM
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#8 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
confused Relationship Status:
YEEHAW!!! 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Here
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Auntie Diva, I have missed storytime so much. Not many switchings going on yet.. I aim to change that.
 I have brought along my ever-present Mountain Dew and some extras.  Oh, and my brand new perv chair! It's shiny and black, with leather and stuff.. Aren't you proud of me Auntie Diva?
__________________
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window~Author Unknown Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. ~Author Unknown Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. ~Author Unknown  |
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