On Maleness, MaleID/Trans Masculinity, Expectations and Being "Less of a Man"

[BullDog]

Originally Posted by EnderD_503

@Bulldog:

That you talk about transmen and so on wanting to “play with their peers,” this is, once again, limiting a man to an area that he should, according to a binary, feel he belongs in. That his male sex/gender determines that all men/males are his peers, while women/females are not. A transmen/male identified individual on a female team is not necessarily not playing with his peers. By claiming that a transman/male id is not within his “peer group” by playing on a female team, one continues to divide rather than allow people to unite. Why can a man not feel like he is among his peers when he is among females/women while still considering himself a man? This is where I want to momentarily come back to what I was saying about really feeling and thinking one’s self as male, versus stereotypical masculinity. A male who is born in a female body, yet who can only think of himself as male, does not necessarily need to relate best with other males. He can still be male in mind, “transition” fully to male physically, change his legal status to male, while still feeling he is at home among women. That is what I mean by stripping maleness down to simply the gender/sex one has always considered one’s self to be inside one’s head.

Ender I never said men and women couldn't be peers or couldn't play sports together. I don't think a man playing sports with women is less a man than a man who plays sports with men.

Many transmen have said both publicly and privately to me they don't think a man should be playing on a women's team and don't understand why they would want to in the first place. I don't think it has anything to do with them thinking anyone is less of a man at all. To me they are recognizing the privileged aspects of it. I totally get why men would want to play sports with other men. It makes sense to me.

Co-ed sports- I have seen rather dismal results, although I think theoretically it could work. I have seen co-ed softball teams where there are rules on how many women must be on the team and field at one time. The women are stuck in right field and other places less likely to see a lot of action. They play the minimum amount of innings and when the ball is hit their way a man jumps in front of them to catch the ball.

Even in mixed gay men/lesbian volleball play I have seen the men jump in front of the women to make a play on the ball.

Again, none of this has to happen, but it often does.

I do agree with you that a man does not have to always relate best to men. I see men who most of their close friends are women. This is also something that doesn't surprise me.