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Old 12-20-2009, 11:09 PM   #7
T4Texas
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Default An Old School Butch's Perspective

In my profile, I describe myself as an old school butch with updated ideas. I came out in the mid 70s, a different time and place compared to now. In those days you were either butch, femme or bi. There weren't a lot of ID's swirling around for you to pick from. Gender change was just beginning in some parts of the world and the gay community as a whole was struggling to find its collective identity. I came out as a butch. For me it was a no brainer as it was my personality and I knew without a doubt it was who I was. I have never regretted the decision and always from the beginning embraced my butch identity, never hiding it or making apologies for it. I am outwardly proud of it and felt comfortable in my skin from the beginning. I know I am one of the fortunate ones. I have seen over the years so many people struggle to find their identity no matter if they came out at 17 like me or at 40. The plethora of choices we have now, I feel, makes that struggle harder for some as everyone searches for that place to fit in. I feel a great deal of pain especially for the younger people who sometimes seem caught up in the label frenzy and make decisions about their lives not knowing what the impact of those decisions might be some years down the road. Sure, its their lives to live and its not for me to say or judge at all. But sometimes I can see the pain they are going to face and already face. You can see it in what they say or write at times. I want so much at times to suggest to them "think about all sides of it first", but I can't because it's their right of passage and they must navigate it on their own.
I have changed myself over the years by being more patient, more considerate of my partners, taking responsibility for everything I say and do, and willing to have an open mind on anything. I always tell people that no subject is taboo with me and I do mean that. My own sexuality has evolved a great deal since I came out as far as interests go. Being butch has been a mainstay of life for me. It gave me self confidence, independence and a sense of self worth that I feel nothing else could have. I feel the modern butch is still going to want to acquire all those characteristics and do their best to be a good person, the only difference now being that there are many different types of butches out there and also they face choices I never had to face. I will confess, there was a time when I would look at someone who ID'd as butch but wore makeup and would shake my head and say to myself that person is not butch. It was old school thinking yes and the person I have become realizes now that being butch is a thing within you that you can't cover up or change about yourself so the outward appearances do not matter, aside from the fact that you have no place judging other peoples choices or how they choose to represent those choices. I agree with Met that there are a lot of stereotypes and misinformation out there about butches and those things should be corrected when we can. I particularly get frustrated at articles stating that the butch/femme lifestyle is outdated and going the way of the wind. For me, butch is a state of being and that fact will not ever change no matter how much our world and community do. I can only hope there are others who feel the same.
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