Mental Illness

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

My first post on this thread... I don't want to bore you all with the details of all my mental illnesses (trust me, it's not as bad as it sounds, haha) but I'm currently on Zoloft for depression/anxiety. I missed a couple of days - not on purpose, but I guess I just didn't care enough to remember. But, alas, I'm back on it today.

My ex... who was also my best friend before we got together, called me last night. I was texting, and I accidentally answered the call, freaked out, and hung it up immediately. She didn't try to call back or text me. Today, she called my best friend... who didn't answer her call.

I don't get it. She was asked politely to leave me alone for awhile, because a couple of weeks ago, she held me and kissed me and told me she loved me... then all of a sudden, is telling me her new girlfriend means everything and she would die without her. So. I told her to back away, and she did at first... at times she'll send a text or two, but now she's calling us - not sure why. However, it causes deep anxiety inside of me and I feel nauseous all over... even with the Zoloft... I just wish things weren't so complicated. She has a girlfriend... what is she doing?

Might I add that she's Bipolar II and an alcoholic... hence, we can't make a relationship work until both of our emotions are stable and she starts seriously working on herself and her addictions.

Sigh. Sorry for rambling... =/