How to tell if she's into you...

[Bella~Vita]

When actions speak louder than words

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by key

I can be so clueless sometimes. And I miss opportunities. This frustrates me.

Today's example:

Coming home from work, tired, a bit disheveled. Just thinking about dinner and a hot bath. As I am getting my two dogs out of the truck, I see a veeeery cuuuute woman unloading a u-haul truck. I am so ...? I honestly don't know (shy, clueless, ?) I barely even look her way. She stops what she is doing and smiles at me. I smile and say hi, then realize I forgot something in the truck, go back and get it. As I head towards home again she is still standing there smiling. I say hi again (dork?) as we walk past her.

It does not dawn on me until I am in the bath that she had stopped what she was doing and was smiling at me. Who knows, maybe she was just tired and taking a break. Maybe she liked my dogs. Maybe her face is stuck in a smile naturally. But maybe, just maybe she was open to me saying something more than hi. Maybe something like welcome to the neighborhood? Maybe I will get another chance if I can even remember what she looked like. UGH!

This is just today's example. I feel like my cluelessness makes me completely oblivious to these types of situations/opportunities in the moment. It is only after the fact that I sometimes get it.

Can anyone relate?

Oh, yes..... I can relate! yes.... "after-the-fact" is my middle name!

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I'm so naive... relationships are my forte; dating, however, is not

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

If one of her closest friends says she'll hook you up with her... good sign?

[undone]

Originally Posted by atomiczombie

I totally do this too!!!

Or, I tend to assume that the only reason a girl is interested in me, when she does make it obvious, is for carnal reasons (this has happened to me in the past and my heart was broke a little bit). I just don't know how to tell if a girl is interested in me for sex or for more, for who I am and not just what I can do for her in the bedroom (or the car, living room, kitchen, shower, etc. :P). It makes me honestly distrustful.

treat her the way you feel about it... If you want just sex then be honest about it, but your tone implies that you are looking for something a bit more, so treat her like it, she will either reciprocate or not. It also never hurts to talk or ask about it, keeps the air clear so you can see what's coming and maneuver accordingly.

I have always appreciated when some else can express what there interest is. It doesn't mean anything more than this is how i fell and what i am looking for at this moment

[smouldering]

Yup it can be hard..

I have the same issue as AtomicZombie lol.. I can't always tell if someone is just looking for something casual or something more long term... if they are being genuine or saying whatever they think will get them in my pants lol..

Ive also had the issue of Butches thinking I am into them because I am nice or they assume because I am being sweet I want in their pants... -- Dating can be confusing!

But I agree about paying attention to body language sometimes how we act or react speaks louder then what we say

[Sweet_Amor_Taino]

The morning phone call.. the sound of her voice.. giggles and laughter.

[JustJo]

Ummmm.....no clue.

I'm one of those dense people when it comes to flirting. Years ago, in a group of friend/acquaintances I jokingly said "how come you all flirt with each other and no one flirts with me?"

There was general laughter and then one was kind enough to inform me "uh, Jo...we do...you just don't get it."

True story.

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

One girl told me it made her feel "a little jealous" when I told her about this beautiful love letter I had from an ex-girlfriend who I adore. I think she might be into me...

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

If she hugs you, kisses your cheek and says "text me tomorrow" but then texts you an hour later telling you how cute you are... she might be into you

[bigbutchmistie]

I'm on my I phone typing this but for me I can feel it and someone's lack of actions will.tell me every time

If you tell me you are gonna so something and you don't etc

Lots of the things show when someone is just not into you

Personally I think I'm a Damn good catch and someone is crazy not.to.be into.me.lol

[LeftWriteFemme]

If you give her bottom a little spank and she starts following you around, she is into you; if she calls the cops she's not.......

[Rockinonahigh]

Originally Posted by JustJo

Ummmm.....no clue.

I'm one of those dense people when it comes to flirting. Years ago, in a group of friend/acquaintances I jokingly said "how come you all flirt with each other and no one flirts with me?"

There was general laughter and then one was kind enough to inform me "uh, Jo...we do...you just don't get it."

True story.

Join the club,for years I had and still have a dense qulity.Sometimes it just goes over my head..

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by smouldering

Yup it can be hard..

I have the same issue as AtomicZombie lol.. I can't always tell if someone is just looking for something casual or something more long term... if they are being genuine or saying whatever they think will get them in my pants lol..

Ive also had the issue of Butches thinking I am into them because I am nice or they assume because I am being sweet I want in their pants... -- Dating can be confusing!

But I agree about paying attention to body language sometimes how we act or react speaks louder then what we say

I hope it's okay if I ask you a question.

Your profile says, 'as long as you pull my hair you can call me anything .'

Doesn't that sound like you want something casual?

I think casual can be fun and fabulous and

I think that if you want your hair pulled,

You should get your hair pulled, so

I am not being judge-y.

[AtLast]

Ummm.... so......

Why not just say "I'm into you?"

I know, I'm no fun.....

[miss entycing]

if they are still calling you after they've moved on....
they may be into you.
*shrugs*

[proximitywithoutintimacy]

I'm still painfully naive about whether or not she likes me... ha... ha...

[Quintease]

I like attention, so I can always tell if someone likes me. It works the other way too, I can always see if someone likes my partner, which can be hard.

I'm not always good. Once I spent a whole night with two old friends and completely missed the fact that they were now together. My gf at the time, who was usually rubbish at this sort of thing, was the one to point it out!

It's the way someone looks at you, this searching - looking for deeper meaning kind of look. Their body language changes, they move closer, become more attentive. They listen and remember things you say. Plus they contact you quite randomly. It can always go the other way as well, they can be very distant, even give you dirty looks when you are both out, but then you they always know where you are..

[apretty]

i assume everyone wants me--i'm a libra.

[flower77]

Um.. if I was into you I'd probably go dumb.. you know.. cos all the blood leaves my brain! That is why it's good to meet someone who genuinely makes you laugh.. giggling is a clue (and she's not laughing at you, unless you are making a joke about yourself and you meant her too!) I listen alot. I smile. Take deep breaths. Make eyes. I can't beleive you don't know these things ;-) you cheeky ones ;-)

Sometimes I think I confuse women 'cos if they reached out to touch my arm then I'd be all nervous but that's not the same as making a cold face and stepping backward, which would be "not into you". Reading between the lines it's a compliment I'm all tense! If you know what I'm saying! Sexual tension!

So be careful to know the difference between excited/nervous and not interested/hostile. How she shows her interest in you isn't always blatantly obvious.. so.. There are some videos on YouTube I've recently watched, although straight, kind of give you some solid clues. Named something like How to tell if a girl/boy is into you.

I hope that helps.
F xx