being disabled....

[DamselFly]

i apologize for taking so long to get back here. i now have a new-born orphaned foal in my life that depends mainly on me sometimes. that has turned life upside-down and sideways, in a good way, though. despite the toll that lack of sleep takes, seeing Nickers's sweet strong spirit while he learns how to use his body and explores this new world makes everything worthwhile. *smile* watching him is better than any drug, and the effects of loving him long-lasting!
i have been reading all of Y/your posts and am amazed at Y/your spirit and determination to live life to Y/your fullest! thank Y/you for sharing Y/your stories, books that inspire Y/you, and information on meds, dr.s, and other things medical. a special thanks to DOMNC for info on meds!
by the way, tramadol is "just" the generic for Ultram. i don't like the automatic substitution that insurance requires of generics for brand drugs. i've found, that despite claims to the opposite, generics are NOT the same chemically for the most part as brand drugs. sometimes that difference can have dangerous effects and/or interactions with other medications. i REALLY dislike that medicine, esp. for those of us on medicare/SSD and/or medicaid, is dictated largely by the insurance companies, instead of by medical professionals. i also wish that medicare and medicaid did not differ so state by state, thus making the quality of medical care available largely dependent upon where you live. surprisingly, i'm finding that the general quality of medical care i received in WV is superior, esp. when it comes to PCPs. though i have access now to the best eye clinic in OK, i have been told nothing that my optho dr in WV did not say and offered no better solution than his. i.e., i am going blind; now the rate of optic nerve deterioration has increased, and the dr.s can offer no solution other than eye drops to try to hold on to what little vision i have left. apparently, i don't have enough optic nerves left to try anything else. in addition, i'm having to go through the whole process of "proving" i have MS, despite being diagnosed in the past by 3 neurologists. i'm so tired of having to do this every time i move. why do i have to do this???
for my book contribution, i can recommend The Migraine Brain, can't remember the authour-female MD based in NYCity. excellent book that explains migraines as a whole-body neurological disease and has things to take to Y/your dr. to explain what is needed by a migraineur in general. has A/anyone ever taken lidocaine shots for migraines? i am going to start them thursday (from the same neurologist making me prove i have MS). i looked this treatment up online and found that this is a treatment given for cluster headaches, not migraines. since i've tried everything on the market for migraines (and some alternative treatments), i'm willing to try this. but i don't like this neuro-he has the same god-complex i've run into before in many neuros.
Taoism/Buddhism gives me strength and the ability to do what i can to give back to others. compassion and loving-kindness are the basis for life for me, and i try my best to offer what i can to all sentient beings, be they animal, people, insects, plants, whatever. meditation helps greatly. re a partner, i had given up on the possibility but now do not close myself off to that any longer. whatever my medical status, i am still me and have much to offer to the right person, plus i make a wonderful friend, the foundation for any kind of relationship! so believe in Y/yourself; be kind to Y/yourself and others, and the rest will follow. Tao moves as Tao moves, and karma DOES affect this life as well as future incarnations.
i hope and think that W/we have the foundation and beginning of a community here. please keep posting and let U/us support one another!
namaste, my friends! (and i appreciate Y/your efforts to post in larger fonts!)
DamselFly