Open Letter: Dear Femme

Bit · 01-16-2010, 01:22 PM

To the very sweet friend who clued me in: Thank you, I will try that!

Her advice for my nails? Prenatal vitamins, half of one a day. Hey, maybe it'll give me back my symbol, eh?

Honeybarbara, I hadn't thought of "replacing" my nails with other feminine symbols, but yanno, it's coming on time to replace my hair scrunchies--I almost always wear my hair tied back--and maybe it would be a really good idea to choose prettier ones this time. I really hadn't thought of that, thank you--and thanks to your sweetie for thinking of it, too!

It's odd, how symbols of femininity are so important to me. I didn't expect this... I guess when my nails were long and strong and my hair was still blonde and my skin was young, I took it for granted that I didn't have to worry about "looking feminine enough." Now that age and anemia have taken a toll, I find that unless I "look feminine enough" it badly affects whether or not I feel sexually attractive.

I don't think that my outward signs of femininity should be so strongly tied to whether or not I feel sexy---sexy should be about being female, which is the reality of my body, NOT about looking feminine, which is basically society's images (and images to me are illusion, not reality)--but I honestly don't know how to untie the two things. To me, looking feminine by society's standards is required before I can feel sexy.

This is REALLY disconcerting for an old feminist like me. I really don't like it. *wry look*

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01-16-2010, 01:22 PM	#9
Bit Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Relationship Status: married to Gryph Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 2,177 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,126 Thanked 3,770 Times in 1,264 Posts Rep Power: 10778870	To the very sweet friend who clued me in: Thank you, I will try that! Her advice for my nails? Prenatal vitamins, half of one a day. Hey, maybe it'll give me back my symbol, eh? Honeybarbara, I hadn't thought of "replacing" my nails with other feminine symbols, but yanno, it's coming on time to replace my hair scrunchies--I almost always wear my hair tied back--and maybe it would be a really good idea to choose prettier ones this time. I really hadn't thought of that, thank you--and thanks to your sweetie for thinking of it, too! It's odd, how symbols of femininity are so important to me. I didn't expect this... I guess when my nails were long and strong and my hair was still blonde and my skin was young, I took it for granted that I didn't have to worry about "looking feminine enough." Now that age and anemia have taken a toll, I find that unless I "look feminine enough" it badly affects whether or not I feel sexually attractive. I don't think that my outward signs of femininity should be so strongly tied to whether or not I feel sexy---sexy should be about being female, which is the reality of my body, NOT about looking feminine, which is basically society's images (and images to me are illusion, not reality)--but I honestly don't know how to untie the two things. To me, looking feminine by society's standards is required before I can feel sexy. This is REALLY disconcerting for an old feminist like me. I really don't like it. wry look