Under 30 Lesbian Identities

[Gráinne]

I'm way over 30 but would like to say something, if that's OK.

It's fine if you know what or who you are, and what or who you like when so young. Many of us didn't. Idenity is evolving. I myself couldn't be more in the middle if I tried. I've struggled with being on this site lately because I am not comfortably in either group. And, I have been attracted to both.

I think it's not wanting to box myself in, to take on a "role". And for many of us, no matter who we date or what we look like outwardly, it's not at all clear what group we "fit" in. It's not so easy to point to a very feminine woman and pronounce her a femme. And then there's me, with short hair and not a dress in sight, and I am more or less more feminine inside. I don't use labels.
It's not really what others think of me, it's not putting myself in a box and calling myself one thing or another.

And sadly, not every group will accept everyone with open arms. And to paraphrase Groucho Marx, some people will not join any group that will have them as a member . It's OK to be a lone wolf.