Your Death and Post-Death Preferences

[Gina]

Originally Posted by socialjustice_fsu

As a hospice social worker I am so pleased this is being openly talked about. Please, if you do nothing more than this it may ease not only your mind but also who might be overseeing your final arrangements: WRITE YOUR WISHES DOWN. Give a copy to someone you trust. Most physicians will even keep this info. for you in their file. I promise you...it is not good enough to simply speak your wishes. When family and friends have differing thoughts about what you 'might' want it can get terribly ugly. I could supply you with example after example of things gone awry in the face of a death.

And, take a look at advance directives in your state. Many of the forms can be downloaded in a matter of minutes. These include living wills, health care proxy statement, health care surrogate, durable power of attorney. Some will require a notary seal depending on the format. Insist your partner complete the same documents. If you assign a DPOA - keep a copy in the glove compartment - hopefully, you will never need it - but in an emergency you want to know where to look first.

As far as organ donors...most states have a registry that you can access to be sure you are actually listed. In Florida it is donatelifeflorida.com.

Please, have this discussion - outloud - and then commit it to paper.

Do this for yourself. And do it for the loved one's in your life. They will be forever grateful.

Okay folks...I am in Hospice care at home. Today I got oxygen delivered. I have COPD and there is no cure. Hospice is wonderful and the people are caring and make sure that you have what you need to live out your life as comfortable as possible. I have written my wishes in the booklet they gave me and also have copies for family and I carry a copy in the car. I am still out and about and go out and do things. I was never afraid to live, and I am not afraid to die. I will keep you posted on the process of dying if you want..

Gina

[Hollylane]

I want whatever organs that are usable to be given to those who can use them.

After that, I want to be given back to the Earth. If I have to be in a bag to make people more comfortable, make it a biodegradable bag. I want my body to nourish the Earth that nourished me.

[princessbelle]

I am a Hospice/Homecare nurse as well.

Something inspiring happened today at work. We are now handing out all of the forms, from Living Wills, to Durable Power Of Attorneys with every single patient that we admit to Homecare now in our admission packets.

I thought about this thread today while we were getting the new info. And as socialjustice_fsu stated, all states are different. Here in Tennessee our Living Wills can just have two sigs and no longer have to be notarized.

State to State rules...those are what is important to know the facts and can definately be found online. Make sure everyone including your PCP, family and POA know these exist and actually have copies of them. Because the line ...."oh don't do CPR on her she didn't want it but i don't know where that paper is" will equate to, most of the time, prolonging life no matter what the circumstance.

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by Gina

Okay folks...I am in Hospice care at home. Today I got oxygen delivered. I have COPD and there is no cure. Hospice is wonderful and the people are caring and make sure that you have what you need to live out your life as comfortable as possible. I have written my wishes in the booklet they gave me and also have copies for family and I carry a copy in the car. I am still out and about and go out and do things. I was never afraid to live, and I am not afraid to die. I will keep you posted on the process of dying if you want..

Gina

Your courage has left me speechless. I hope that your journey is peaceful and loving.

Thank you for your candid post. It is very brave. Love and prayers to you and yours.

[clay]

((((((((((((((((GINA))))))))))))))
You are a very brave lady....and that was very courageous of you to open yourself up to us here!!! May your days be of comforting and peaceful serenity for you!! I will walk with you in spirit!! You are loved here!!! Clay

[clay]

PRINCESSBELLE In SC, and I believe Florida has, we have paperwork called Five Wishes..that can be filled out (and my deceased partner's had to be notarized....and we carried copies of all the paperwork in a manila envelope everywhere with us..I had a file folder and I kept copies in there!) that I strongly suggest everyone have these filled out..they are legal and binding...and so easy to fill out. You can probably google and find out if your state has them available. Thanks for your very informative posts, Belle!!! and SocialJustice_FSU[/COLOR]

[Babyangeleyez]

I hate death. I hate talking about it. Don't want no part of it..... Until I had to go through it with my son 3 years ago. Now, I'm a firm believer in planning ahead. It's painful enough losing your loved one, but to have to make the decisions while you are grieving is not pleasant either.

I have told my family and ex-partner that if something happens to me please do not dress me all up fancy cuz thats not who I am. Make sure that my casket is lined in pink. I don't care if its a pink shag rug, as long as its pink. I will be buried in the plot beside my son. Donate whatever organs that can be donated. And have a big party afterwards. It's not good-bye.....just see ya later!

[TagHeuer_07]

I have experience NDE (Near Death Experience) twice, first it was stabbed by stranger and lost all my blood i dont remember much seen what happening but remember before i came out of coma saw tunnel with huge white flash etc,

2nd had serve asthma attack due stress i remember seeing tunnel with full of colours and saw many people i know and some dont know (might have met them before) it was full of speed in tunnel and saw the white then bright white it went silent and saw jesus for like few sec and flash lighting that bought me back alive again

If i die my heart will go to heart research for heart hospital, my lungs will go to asthma research but the rest im not sure what to do will have to think about it

i want cremation, before cremation i dont want flowers just gold coins to donation for heart and asthma research etc i want LGBT flag in service to remember that im proud of being LGBT no matter what i am as who i am, who i love, also i want bagpipe before service and after the service to play after the service wish friend and family and some people who have met me will go to service or german club to celebration of my life etc

My stuff (expensive one)some will given to who i trust and other stuff will go charity to give homeless people needs etc

[Electrocell]

My younger days I told my friends to bury me ass up ( so the world could kiss my ass) with a bottle of jack black in one hand and a joint in the other lol.

Now that I am older told my niece to cremate me ( cheaper on the family) and scatter my ashes wherever. Hopefully people will remember me as a kind and giving soul , also a good friend. Want to add my niece will get my life insurance to pay for the cremation.

[~baby~doll~]

Great topic. We have discussed this around here a number of times. It ii am ill terminally i want euthanasia at a celebration like in the movie Barbarian Invasions. i do not want to be in pain or so drugged i can't communicate. i want no procedures which would elongate the suffering for my partner or myself.
i want to be cremated as soon as possible thereafter.

i have a friend who says she would like to be cremated and put into bottles of Summer's Eve so she could spread herself around. Hmmmm

[Aud]

As someone with a serious heart condition, I've probably put in more than my fair share of time thinking about this topic/considering the options. And just when I think I'm certain I know what "my wishes" are, they change!

I do love this idea as a lasting memorial for a loved one though: http://www.lifegem.com/index.aspx?BType=YTxt&BAg=HCrem

As for my 'death preference', quite honestly, I wished to be drugged out of my gourd, feeling no pain, nor fear, if possible.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I am a complete atheist. I do not think there is anything at all after I die except the big switch off. My materials came from the stars and will return to them eventually, like everyone else.

Funerals are not for the dead but the living. Funerals help the community through ritual to come to terms with loss. I have no care whatsoever about what happens to my body. I'm dead, I sure as hell won't know. I am an organ doner but my organs won't be up to snuff to donation. I'm overweight and I smoked for many years and I've had a lot of stressors and medications. But maybe someone can use my eyes if I go young.

To save people money and to give science it's due, I keep meaning to donate my body to science. Maybe my brain can go in the brain bank and the rest can be a learning dissection or something. I have to admit part of me feels a bit squeamish, but since *I* am having the benifits of my medical profession by having access to a cadaver, it would be of benefit for me to do the same thing for others to learn and aide education and research and health professions. I love the thought of something of myself being burned and compressed and turned into a man made diamond to be worn by whomever. But I will be dead and ultimately I won't care.

However, the rituals of death are for the living. So if anyone living has any preference for me, if it matters to them, if *they* need a grave or a memorial site, or to spread my ashes, then that is their privilege. Do that. I'm dead, I won't care. Do what is important to you. I'm an atheist so I would hope the ceremony would reflect that, but if the person(s) need spiritual mention, it's their party and entirely up to them.

If there isn't anyone, then just donate my body and let others learn.

[Hollylane]

Originally Posted by Gina

Okay folks...I am in Hospice care at home. Today I got oxygen delivered. I have COPD and there is no cure. Hospice is wonderful and the people are caring and make sure that you have what you need to live out your life as comfortable as possible. I have written my wishes in the booklet they gave me and also have copies for family and I carry a copy in the car. I am still out and about and go out and do things. I was never afraid to live, and I am not afraid to die. I will keep you posted on the process of dying if you want..

Gina

I too, am speechless. You are very brave and strong. Thank you for sharing. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that your path is peaceful, filled with beauty, and that you are surrounded by the people you love, and the people who love you.