What every Femme should know...

[Melissa]

Originally Posted by Julie

You are so right Snow...
And in part, this is what being FEMME is about.
We call out the bullshit and we take care of our Femme Sisters.
We make sure they are not swindled or taken advantage of.

And sometimes... We have to blow up the fairy tale, just to keep them safe.

Julie who is so proud and honored to call you Sister.

Jullie - I love love love this line "And sometimes... We have to blow up the fairy tale, just to keep them safe."

[JistMe]

"It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.
__________________
~Vonni~"

No worries Vonni. If posting requires that I sit for three hours making sure the semantics are correct, I'll gladly miss out.

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by JistMe

"It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.
__________________
~Vonni~"

No worries Vonni. If posting requires that I sit for three hours making sure the semantics are correct, I'll gladly miss out.

So you in other words learned nothing.

[macele]

tawse, that looks like a UT orange colored mustang in your profile pic ... no? LOL

just joking with you lol.

i need to know what every femme should know, ... for the sake of the mercy rule. and for mercy's sake!

(i know what you are thinking. she's from mississippi and that means something lol.)

[julieisafemme]

Hi Vonni. Welcome to the site. I wanted to address some of the things you are talking about here. I know it is hard to jump in and start posting. One thing you mention is diversity. You are right that there is a lot of diversity here and it is part of what makes it so fun to read and post! I learn things all the time here.

On the dash site someone started a fun thread about OCD. At least that is what they though they were doing. I have OCD and so of course I was interested and went in to read it. It was actually not about OCD. It was about joking about being extra clean or particular about certain things. I wasn't offended but did want to post that for some people these quirks were'nt funny and actually were debilitating, scary and difficult to deal with. The OP pretty much called me a buzzkill. I was bumming people out. They suggested I go read something else or stay out of the thread.

I wasn't trying to cause problems or make a fuss. I wanted to suggest that maybe the thread not be called OCD but something else. I wanted to let people know that it might not be funny to everyone.

I am telling this story to illustrate that posting things and having others disagree or challenge what you are saying is the diversity that makes this site and others like it so great. Sometimes people may not be nice about it. One person's "nice" might be someone else's mean. I think it is ok to address someone and let them know that you are uncomfortable with what they have said or even how they have said it. That seems to be how things work on forums.

As far as the OP and this thread it seems like people have posted how they feel as femmes and are showing the diversity here.

Originally Posted by Vonni

As one who is also new to this site, I can easily understand why JistMe felt somewhat attacked. I think that I would have felt that way too. This thread should have been a safe place to share well intended, simple and sweet words.

I do think however that this created a very valuable and worthy discussion (thank you JistME) that should continue elsewhere without the OP's intentions being the center of the discussion. I truly feel as if I have gotten quite a bit out of it and I would like to see it continue.

As someone who is finding her voice and her place on this site, I do have to say that I am a bit disappointed and somewhat intimidated by the very occasional rude comment I see made, not against JistMe, but towards others that are simply sharing their point of view or even just asking for clarification. I'm not talking about the humor, such as JAGG's lovely list of "DO NOT DO'S". I think that throwing in that bit of humor is awesome, appreciated and a necessary means to keep any conversation or debate lively. I'm talking about the personal attacks. Respect and honor each person's opinions and if you so vehemently disagree that you can't be at least kind, step away and go find something else to do. It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.

[BullDog]

I never saw the OP's intentions ever being the center of discussion in this thread.

I also think who is considered rude is going to vary depending on whose perception it is.

[GinaSofia]

Originally Posted by JistMe

"It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.
__________________
~Vonni~"

No worries Vonni. If posting requires that I sit for three hours making sure the semantics are correct, I'll gladly miss out.

Me too. It's tiresome,inhibiting, & boring.
I'll reserve my life's lessons for real life experiences instead of getting schooled online by wannabe cyber life coaches.

[apretty]

I miss the days where being specific about context and meaning and fucking language was something of value and not me being a big meaniehead.

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by GinaSofia

Me too. It's tiresome,inhibiting, & boring.
I'll reserve my life's lessons for real life experiences instead of getting schooled online by wannabe cyber life coaches.

booooooo

[Corkey]

Originally Posted by GinaSofia

Me too. It's tiresome,inhibiting, & boring.
I'll reserve my life's lessons for real life experiences instead of getting schooled online by wannabe cyber life coaches.

Not here to school anyone, but your rudeness is duly noted.

[1QuirkyKiwi]

Originally Posted by June

--June

Ugh! That photo of me isn’t one of my best! My hair needed combing and wasn’t my mane attraction and my behind was a little too fluffy that day! LOL!

Orange and blues are good; All Black is great, but…..Silver, now silver is where it’s AT! Ooooooh! The eye-candy on the New Zealand Women’s Rugby team…..a Femme cannot help but perv, admire salaciously, lol!

[Tawse]

Originally Posted by macele

tawse, that looks like a UT orange colored mustang in your profile pic ... no? LOL

YES It is! and you want to hear what's worse? My interior dash lights are soft blue.

Believe we when I say I STRUGGLE with this.. lol at least once a month. If ONLY Tennessee WAS NOT Tennessee - I could obsess freely.. but as is I make sure I put a LOT of magnets on the Stang when we go to the UGA vs UT games. And even then I'm nervous...


lol

signed,

Torn between the love of a color and the hate of a rival

Originally Posted by Tawse

YES It is! and you want to hear what's worse? My interior dash lights are soft blue.

Believe we when I say I STRUGGLE with this.. lol at least once a month. If ONLY Tennessee WAS NOT Tennessee - I could obsess freely.. but as is I make sure I put a LOT of magnets on the Stang when we go to the UGA vs UT games. And even then I'm nervous...


lol

signed,

Torn between the love of a color and the hate of a rival

http://shop.blackpoolfc.co.uk/catalo...ult-home-shirt

Go the Seasiders!!

[*Anya*]

Is this still the "what every femme should know thread"?

Cars, interior blue lights Tawse & Incubus? You know I love both of you ( in a sister sort of way) but really guys!

[Tawse]

Originally Posted by Incubus

http://shop.blackpoolfc.co.uk/catalo...ult-home-shirt

Go the Seasiders!!

LOL On my Pinterest page - I have a bunch of Grabber Orange Cars!! lol


And Anya - MUAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA welcome to the long and meandering path.. and be honest. EVERY femme wants to hear about cars and sports. It's common knowledge

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Tawse

LOL On my Pinterest page - I have a bunch of Grabber Orange Cars!! lol


And Anya - MUAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHA welcome to the long and meandering path.. and be honest. EVERY femme wants to hear about cars and sports. It's common knowledge

How about posting your car in the car gallery? I'd love to see a larger picture.

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

Is this still the "what every femme should know thread"?

Cars, interior blue lights Tawse & Incubus? You know I love both of you ( in a sister sort of way) but really guys!

Hey, Anya. I think because this is actually in the Quotes, Snippets, and Other Writing and was actually only meant to be brief quote from the OP and not a discussion on "what every femme should know", people are feeling free to just blab. Meaning, since the thread already moved away from its original purpose (which was not a discussion thread), it is undefined

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

Hey, Anya. I think because this is actually in the Quotes, Snippets, and Other Writing and was actually only meant to be brief quote from the OP and not a discussion on "what every femme should know", people are feeling free to just blab. Meaning, since the thread already moved away from its original purpose (which was not a discussion thread), it is undefined

Good try Dapper.

<<<Doesn't even drive



What every femme should know.

Humour the chaps once in a while

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by JAGG

What every femme should know- truck drivers in semi's can see everything you are doing in your car, we can read the gum wrapper on the floorboard behind your seat. We can see everything. Everything! And yes when you pass by they ARE looking and you can bet you're being talked about on the CB. Thought you should know that.

Sometimes, that's the whole point.

This coming from someone who's been in the car as well as the cab.

Originally Posted by 1QuirkyKiwi

Now that's creepy!

Crap.

You all fussed so long and so much that the page that this was referencing is too far back for me to figure out what in the Hell I was addressing for Quirky.

I'll have to check it again and come back to finish my thought.

Originally Posted by Vonni

As one who is also new to this site, I can easily understand why JistMe felt somewhat attacked. I think that I would have felt that way too. This thread should have been a safe place to share well intended, simple and sweet words.

I do think however that this created a very valuable and worthy discussion (thank you JistME) that should continue elsewhere without the OP's intentions being the center of the discussion. I truly feel as if I have gotten quite a bit out of it and I would like to see it continue.

As someone who is finding her voice and her place on this site, I do have to say that I am a bit disappointed and somewhat intimidated by the very occasional rude comment I see made, not against JistMe, but towards others that are simply sharing their point of view or even just asking for clarification. I'm not talking about the humor, such as JAGG's lovely list of "DO NOT DO'S". I think that throwing in that bit of humor is awesome, appreciated and a necessary means to keep any conversation or debate lively. I'm talking about the personal attacks. Respect and honor each person's opinions and if you so vehemently disagree that you can't be at least kind, step away and go find something else to do. It's those kinds of attitudes that cause drama and dissuade others from wanting to get involved in these discussions and oftentimes cause them to miss out on the value of being a part of such a wonderful and diverse community.

Hi, Vonni!

Posting in emotionally charged threads CAN be daunting for those who are new to this particular group of people. It would be so easy if everyone who ever got upset would put their big boy/girl shorts/panties/etc on and either walked away or dealt with things in an 'adult' manner. Some of the time, we do. Sometimes, we don't. We're all human and all of us have different spheres of reference from which to draw.

So, don't lose faith or think poorly of us. We get it right more days than we get it wrong.

Originally Posted by Tawse

I think we should be careful about the your filters versus my filters and who has responsibility issue.

And I say that for one reason.


All the sexual harassment classes I've ever gone to.


The guy says sweetheart. He means nothing by it. But if the woman interprets it as harassment - then it is. If she's ok with it - then it's not.

It has nothing to do with his intention, and 100% with the way it is received.

And that is a very polarized example - and yes it could be argued rather easily that it's wrong and completely different.

So I'll pull up another point - dealing with difficult people in the work place. If someone has a problem with you and you're pulled to DEO - you better not say "it's his/her fault because of their filters, I didn't intend..." or "this is just the way I am, if he/she doesn't like it they are the problem..." It won't get you anywhere and may even see you lose your job.

Now we're in a casual laid back atmosphere here - but I have to say, maybe due to corporate / legal brainwashing, that anytime someone says 'it's your fault if you hear me wrong' - it makes me want to grab my documentation and get ready to head to a mediator.

Just a thought...


edited to add: oh shit I just realized this long thread is because of the way something was received instead of intended.

kinda makes you go hmmmm

Exactly. Perception is key.

Ebon and I can be the biggest, most hateful, sexist asses to one another but it's okay. Because it's coming from us and we know us. Many a time, we've made our friends cringe from the things we say to one another.

Originally Posted by starryeyes

I was following the title of the thread.... sorry for the confusion.

I'm going to let you in a secret that I've learned a few years ago. Never do I post without reading not only the first couple of posts, to see what the intention of the thread is, but I then jump to the last page and read the last few posts to see what the thread has actually turned into.

It just seems to me that you saw the heading and posted. It's not the end of the world!

For the record, I used to love gels and like the handpainting of the gel coating. I like manicures. I love having my toes done too and they are almost NEVER the same color as my fingers. Because I can.

Also for the record, I do maintenance on my golf carts at work as well as climbing ladders and taking down and installing 8-9 foot lighting bulbs. I don't do it because it's fun and I am quite afraid of, not so much the height, but the hard landing should I fall. But I do it. Because I can.

Also also for the record, I feel most comfy in jeans and a shirt that makes my breasts look bigger. I wasn't blessed with an ample bosom, so I'm making lemonade out of this batch of lemons I have (extra weight). It just so happens that the best clothing for this is maternity clothing. My current favorite pair of jeans are maternity and they hug my hips in a delicous manner. Because I can.

Also also also for the record, I am the epitome of Gemini, but I am often clumsy and/or careless with my words. But I think that everyone can understand when I say that I am femme. Not the 'every' kind of femme, but the 'only' kind of femme I can be. I like and do the things that I do, sometimes because I am femme and sometimes because I am me. I can do things that aren't 'femme' and I'm still 'me' while doing them but find no joy in doing things just to 'be' femme if it's not 'me'. I enjoy things that 'some' femmes enjoy but not 'all' femmes. Not 'all' femmes enjoy the things that 'I' enjoy.

Quantified expressions are hard to handle sometimes. It's good for us all to have a reminder that we ALL speak from our 'me, myself, I' place. Things get hinky when folks start talking from the viewpoint of others. That's not good.

I love that we can have multiple discussions and multiple viewpoints going on within the same thread at the same time. It's makes my Gemini multi-tasking heart beat a little faster.

However, I thought that the dialogue between Kobi and Julie went really well. It felt like a real time discussion in which they hashed things out and really LISTENED to one another. Is it really so bad to wish that that happened more often?