More on where do I fit in? Labels, why do we need them?

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

[COLOR="DimGray"][FONT="Fixedsys"][SIZE="3"]And for the first time—now detached from a middle- and upper-class GLBT core of people—I was able to talk critically about the institution of marriage without someone pressuring me to get on the pro-marriage bandwagon and essentially, join them in emulating straight culture, right down to the registry at Bloomingdale's.

Now, many years later, and with marriage legal in my state, I've had more than a couple women say to me, about my relationship, So when are you two getting married?

And suddenly I feel pressure to marry, and even have some empathy for straight women hitting a certain age, in a culture that has capitalistic, religious, or just traditional reasons for wanting her to be married.

Yeah, I really think the next real struggle for the queer community is going to be (and probably already is) really getting out there and talking about why gaining marriage equality may not have actually meant that much for queer rights. Obviously, every person should have the same rights as others so that if a straight cis couple are legally able to marry, then same-sex couples and trans people should also be able to marry legally. At the same time, there need to be more discussions on why promoting or implying that monogamous, traditional marriages/relationships with the intent to marry is somehow more "natural," "acceptable," and "meaningful" than other relationships are harmful ideas to continue to promote. We're just supporting the same social framework that allowed queer folks to be seen as "unnatural" and hated to begin with.

And I agree, a lot of spaces do really make it hard for people to talk about. I remember a few months ago, myself and a few others trying to explain to a "queer ally" why we objected to the normalisation of same-sex marriage. Basically, he thought we were homophobic and oppressive, and that we were trying to say that people shouldn't have equal rights (which isn't what we were saying at all). It's unfortunate that that reaction happens a lot.