It Hurts Me.

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by Jess

Y'all can excuse me or decide to discharge me now, but I am one of those Southerners who do use the familiars allowed me by the gracious women in my life, such as but not limited to: Darlin, Hon, Sugah, Sweetheart, Dearest, etc. AND by all means, when I do say, "you ladies, or "dear lady" I mean it from the deepest sense of respect, as "those" ladies have shown me that they are, indeed, Ladies.

I am only speaking for myself when I say that I am more than a little tired of hearing the ongoing bashing of manners and mannerisms that seem to be all but lost in today's society, save living alive and and well in the hearts of well intended Southern folk and moreover, country folk . It does my heart good to put a smile on a "lady's" face by addressing her as Miss__________ and tipping my hat. More often than not, I am met with a gracious smile or a soft blush and I very VERY much am pleased to have spent one ample millisecond of my energy adding a smidge of charm to an otherwise unextraordinary , uneventful day.

If a woman does not wish to be referred to as Lady, or any other familiars, it becomes very clear within about 13 seconds. I will forevermore, refrain from doing so. However, I don't think that woman should get to speak for any other women who actually find it endearing. That to me, is what makes a Lady a Lady. It is her ability to discern for herself and NOT impose upon others.


My 2 cents for what it's worth.

Ladies.. Gents.. Folks.. tips hat...

I realize the South has a lot of issues... everywhere does. And I realize that some Southern Manners are actually quite rude (eg, "Well, bless your heart"). I know that if you study history they are probably somehow rooted in oppression. If you're honest, most social graces are.

But, I DO find it endearing. And I'm also a bit tired of the bashing of manners. (If you can't find enough examples here, see the Old Fashioned thread.) I'm not saying everyone has to use them, but they get you some definite brownie points with me!

I use my manners for everyone. I will hold a door open for any person behind me. I forget sometimes to let the butches that like to open doors do it. And I appreciate a butch who does the same. If your manners are only for me, they're not worth much.

Let me amend this a bit: I hate it when someone calls me some pet name if I don't know them. So perhaps that's where the disconnect is in this conversation. Jess refers to calling women he knows Miss, not strangers on the street. Unless I'm mistaken.