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07-01-2012, 10:45 AM
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#1 |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?:
50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status:
married to my forever 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: salt air & sandy beaches
Posts: 13,136
Thanks: 97,020
Thanked 31,656 Times in 7,747 Posts
Rep Power: 21474864    |
Miss Scarlett: Honey, I wish I could sit on my balls
ME:  Miss Scarlett: Oh honey, not THOSE kinds of balls...the tennis balls....to help with massaging my glutes... ME:
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To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault |
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07-01-2012, 10:54 AM
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#2 | |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
. Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: .
Posts: 5,530
Thanks: 4,478
Thanked 12,947 Times in 3,419 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Quote:
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07-03-2012, 07:34 AM
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#3 |
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Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Handsome Preferred Pronoun?:
Male One's Relationship Status:
Hopeless Romantic Seeks Filthy Whore Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 106
Thanks: 176
Thanked 572 Times in 77 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
..
Gymnastics was on TV one day when my oldest was really little. I wasn't really paying attention to it, but noticed her looking bored. I said "What do you want to be when you grow up Kenzie?"
She said "I wanna do flip-flops on that board and hurt myself." (pointing at the TV... it was balance beam) lmao |
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07-07-2012, 07:32 PM
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#4 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Me... Preferred Pronoun?:
... Relationship Status:
<3 myself 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ...
Posts: 2,023
Thanks: 3,062
Thanked 6,799 Times in 1,553 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
da boss
During a phone conversation this week...
Kobi... The cat is whining about food again... Me... She is acting out again, you need to tell her your da boss... Me... Repeat after me... You da boss... *quiet* Kobi... Can I start with you first? I'm da boss... *snicker* Me... yeah well... ummm... no... nice try though... *fits of laughter*
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Kim "A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success."
- Unknown - |
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07-07-2012, 09:17 PM
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#5 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 242
Thanks: 152
Thanked 813 Times in 169 Posts
Rep Power: 6511030 |
I had to post this conversation between my neighbor and I. It was a long time ago, but we still laugh about it today.
Neighbor: Lisa, you have to smell this new stuff I got. Me: What is it? Neighbor: Febreze. Me: *takes bottle turns the knob, squeezes handle, turns knob, squeezes handle*. Ree, how do you get it to spray. Neighbor: Turn the knob at the end. Me: I did. Neighbor: What does it say on the knob? Me: It says "Off, No, Off, No" Neighbor: Bust out laughing hysterically - Lisa, it "Off, ON, OFF, ON" not no. Me: Busted out laughing from blonde moment. I was reading it upside down. |
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07-08-2012, 01:34 PM
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#6 |
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Be the Fearless Bunny
How Do You Identify?:
Hers. Preferred Pronoun?:
he Relationship Status:
Medusa’s Snake Charmer 
 Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: This must be the place.
Posts: 649
Thanks: 1,740
Thanked 2,676 Times in 540 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
"That is the ugliest sneeze ever. The sound of it, the look of it, the repetitive nature of it. Every bit of it is ugly."
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I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. ~Flannery O'Connor |
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07-23-2012, 10:34 PM
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#7 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
after I've returned to the house, sitting here posting about things I'm thankful for...
my phone beeps a text I read: "I'll KILL YA!" ... Me:   "What the hell did I do now?" no answer Me: "I turned the stove off!" no answer Me: "WHAT??!!" phone beeps (typos adding to comedy): "Whn did u put a bottle of water full of lemon juice in my fridge... and do you know what it feels like coming oit of yoir nose" Me: OMFG!!! Me: I didn't put it in the fridge!! You must have picked it up from counter! 2 minutes later, beep: I turned up the bottle and took a big gulp it shocked me so bad it spewed out my nose OMG! me: OMFG!!! ROFLMAO!!! LMAO!!!! (while recalling he had done the same thing recently at a restaurant with a friend) me: Where's the video? them: It was cd and in fridge and LEMONY, LOL ... tbe first thing I thought was damn that was cruel... im killin her! Me: CLEANS out your sinuses them: LORD what is a comical night Me: Can't kill me when I already ran out door!! .... you don't need to snort salt water now!! them: LOL Me: Are you okay?...... if you are, I am still laughing!! them: yeah im ok it was just a shock Me: Thought I ran over your dog the way you yelled! ..... later on, after texting about dog medicine... Me: you sure aspirin will help him? It won't hurt him like it does a little kid? Them: real asporin Me: (chuckling at them using their new phone, and the voice commands that can't understand a southern accent) Ok, I'll see if they sell ASPORIN... them: "sticks tongue out at u" Me: bet it still tastes like lemon!! them: LOL yeah it kinda does! Me: 
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08-07-2012, 11:07 PM
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#8 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Fiery, Sassy, Tough As Nails, Femme Tomboy Preferred Pronoun?:
She Relationship Status:
I am your favorite hello and hardest goodbye. Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NC & CO
Posts: 4,806
Thanks: 4,624
Thanked 12,189 Times in 3,779 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
a text convo...
(after a friend's best buddy -a gay guy- stated "all you lipstick lesbians love Bass Pro Shop instead of Victoria Secrets!"...)
Me: tell him...lipstick lesbians can't handle heavy machinery while wearing high heals and corsets! but when they change into their Timberlands and "I'm the boss" t-shirt...WATCH OUT! Them: LOL...I'll do that... Me: I'll just wear my corset under my t-shirt ;-) to make him happy to call me lipstick lesbian... ;-)  Them: hahahahahahaha ... you crack me up! Me: Just as long as you aren't allergic to super glue! Them: LOL STOP Me: If I crack you up...then I know what to get for your stocking stuffers every Xmas... Them: Too funny Me: joint compound and grout floats! Them: LOL... STOP!! Me: Not until you cry out "stop tickling me!! Or I'll need pull-ups!" ... Them: stop tickling me... I'm not going to admit to pull-ups! Me: squish squish...swish swash (referencing their baby niece that was wearing old fashioned rubber diaper covers when she got into the water and "squished and swished" as she walked...) Me: love to see you smile Them: I am smiling and chuckling...
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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08-16-2012, 08:56 PM
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#9 |
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Timed Out - Permanent
How Do You Identify?:
decidedly indifferent Preferred Pronoun?:
other 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Patrick Springs, VA
Posts: 2,812
Thanks: 9,247
Thanked 5,700 Times in 1,682 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
" no more zombie licking! "
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