Mammograms

[Toph]

Originally Posted by pinkajl

I know this isn't probably the most comfortable topic for the Butch forum, but I would appreciate hearing feedback from those of you who have gone for a mammogram, particularly when it's been because you've discovered a lump.

Ultimately, I'm looking to understand how to best support my butch partner with this. She's at the far end of the butch spectrum as you can get, before becoming trans. We never talk about "breasts" but about her "chest".

The lump is scary enough, but the whole feminizing process of the exam is what's really the issue (at least for today).

Thanks.

may i say from experience, i totally understand your butch wanting to be alone. knowing that you want to attend or plan on at least being there somewhere somehow would be a comfort in every manner. even though the thought of the squisher is a bit emasculating and she may not want to admit to you how devastating the procedures are knowing you are with-in arms reach will be a comfort.

you are both lucky to have each other in all ways and i want your partner to know something important and true;

long story short...i moved from one province to another, had no friends or family with me, just my partner (fiance) yet i went through every test humanly possible to find my cancers, i went to every appointment, every oncologist and every of the many hospital visits and operation alone. my then partner couldnt be bother to attend i woulnd't have minded so much if i at least felt support, but there was nothing.

it is an awful thing, regardless of our orientation or gender identity, to feel violated by procedures necessary and worse, to feel violated with out support and understanding.

so let your partner deal how they need to but also have peace in knowing that regardless of communications or contact of the subject, your partner will know you are there, you are loving, you are supportive and best of all...no matter what the circumstance is, they will be loved special.

i was not shamed that i was by myself throughout it all making hoards of excuses to the docs etc. but more ashamed to admit that i was with someone who would allow me to feel so utterly alone.
i do not wish that feeling on my worst enemy, let alone someone i once loved.

i hope all turns out well and i will keep you both in my thoughts