Spouses/Partners of Transmen and transwomen...

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by Medusa

Arc-

Let's not label other folks as "expressing insecurities" if they take issue with someone saying something that they feel is homophobic.

This is a Queer site. Verbiage like "happy to not be seen as Queer" is going to get called out pretty much every time.

Thanks!

Quoting myself to clarify something:

I don't want to let it stand that I "misquoted" something purposely and that someone was "banned for calling it out".

First, I was much less concerned about the "happy to not be seen Queer" part than I was about the idea that people were acting on "insecurities" for calling out homophobia on a Queer site. That felt like intentional disrespect and dragging drama from one thread to another.

When I used the statement "verbiage like happy to not be seen as Queer" I was paraphrasing the original discussion that arose from:

Originally Posted by Mrs Arcstriker
Well aren't you a busy little bee Mr Arcstriker! I keep forgetting you went to a women's college and I find that peculiar. You must have fooled the interviewers!

That said, I love that you pass, and I love that I forget that we aren't a straight couple. Yin to my yang...

Part of that discussion were folks talking pretty thoughtfully about how it felt to hear a phrase like that on a Queer site. (i.e. that "straight" shouldn't be held up as the gold standard on a Queer site). My paraphrase.

My original request was about not labeling folks and dragging drama from one thread to the other. My concern was that we all respect each other and I tried to provide a guideline as to what that would look like.

Instead of focusing on the request to leave the labeling and drama out, Mrs. Arc chose to make an issue out of "being misquoted" and then proceeded with rudeness.

Rather than move along as I requested, Mrs. Arc then chose to escalate publicly.

She was then put on a time-out for drama and rudeness. This was her first time-out since joining the site 5 weeks ago but the Mods have dealt with probably 15 reports concerning various posts she has made since that time. I illustrate this for the sake of demonstrating how much work has gone into keeping the space open to her.

After she was timed-out for 30 days, Mrs. Arc then logged into Mr. Arc's account and proceeded to send several messages under his name to us which earned her a permanent ban.

Needless to say, we are done with the drama.

I wanted to provide this clarification in hopes that folks understand it was not ever my intention to misquote anyone. My intention was to moderate the "insecurities" part of the offending post and move the conversation along.

It is unfortunate that the issue was escalated to the point that someone felt they had to break the TOS in order to have the last word.


Thanks,
Medusa/Admin

[chefhmboyrd]

hugs

you are gonna get one in person soon!