The Fat Positive Lounge

[Soft*Silver]

I hear women telling me what they cant wear...

I cant expose my arms, they are too big

I cant wear belts, my stumach is too large

I cant wear pants, my ass is too big

I cant wear sexy nighties because I am round

I cant wear shorts my legs are too fat

I cant wear heels because people will laugh

I cant wear sexy because no one will believe it

I cant wear dress-up because I will be a joke instead of sensual

I cant wear ....

its amazing some of us leave the house with anything on at all. No stripes, loud colors, prints, nor white. However, glitter, sequins, animal prints and satin stripe around our necklines (the supposed smallest part of our upper body) are ok.

So I go to work wearing....extremely thin strapped tank tops...and shorts. And stripes and loud prints...REALLY LOUD prints. LOL. And I dyed my hair blue black and wear rich deep colors on my face. I cant wear heels but I paint my toes and I put on hats that dont match anything I wear. LOL. And they love me. Actually, they actually love themselves. And that...is what its all about...

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia

I hear women telling me what they cant wear...

I cant expose my arms, they are too big

I cant wear belts, my stumach is too large

I cant wear pants, my ass is too big

I cant wear sexy nighties because I am round

I cant wear shorts my legs are too fat

I cant wear heels because people will laugh

I cant wear sexy because no one will believe it

I cant wear dress-up because I will be a joke instead of sensual

I cant wear ....

its amazing some of us leave the house with anything on at all. No stripes, loud colors, prints, nor white. However, glitter, sequins, animal prints and satin stripe around our necklines (the supposed smallest part of our upper body) are ok.

So I go to work wearing....extremely thin strapped tank tops...and shorts. And stripes and loud prints...REALLY LOUD prints. LOL. And I dyed my hair blue black and wear rich deep colors on my face. I cant wear heels but I paint my toes and I put on hats that dont match anything I wear. LOL. And they love me. Actually, they actually love themselves. And that...is what its all about...

What a truly beautiful post.

[nycfem]

Reading what Tia wrote made me think about how a few years ago, when I was at the indoor pool at the gym, after swimming a mile, I got out of the pool and was wearing a black swimsuit with a bright pink design on it. It was pretty generic. But a lean, athletic dude had to yell across the pool, "Wow, that's a really LOUD color you're wearing!" A lot of people looked at me and I just gave a little forced giggle. I was caught off-guard but I got the message. Sorry, 200lb short women shouldn't wear bright, fun colors, especially not in a dripping wet swimsuit and not at a gym. The shame stays with us and also makes it understandable why some fat people avoid the gym.

[SingularNYCFemme]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

Reading what Tia wrote made me think about how a few years ago, when I was at the indoor pool at the gym, after swimming a mile, I got out of the pool and was wearing a black swimsuit with a bright pink design on it. It was pretty generic. But a lean, athletic dude had to yell across the pool, "Wow, that's a really LOUD color you're wearing!" A lot of people looked at me and I just gave a little forced giggle. I was caught off-guard but I got the message. Sorry, 200lb short women shouldn't wear bright, fun colors, especially not in a dripping wet swimsuit and not at a gym. The shame stays with us and also makes it understandable why some fat people avoid the gym.

Besides the financial aspects, which should be getting better in the near future, I have to admit that it's hard for me to feel comfortable in a gym, and I haven't had an experience like that (yet). I HATE that this happened to you, and I want to tell you that you are my HERO because you still go to the gym. Well, that's one of the reasons you're my hero anyway.

[SugarFemme]

About ten years ago when I still bought into the, "Wear black, it makes you slimmer" BS my mom was feeding me, I always wore black to work. ALL black. I still felt fat. Didn't have that miraculous, suddenly looking 50 pounds lighter look. Everyone used to tease me at work that I was, "Always ready for a funeral" because I was always in all black. I figured, fuck it. I was so over it. Now, I wear whatever makes ME feel good. Besides, I finally figured out that it was NOT what I wore on the outside, but how I felt on the INSIDE about myself that made the difference.

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia

I hear women telling me what they cant wear...

I cant expose my arms, they are too big

I cant wear belts, my stumach is too large

I cant wear pants, my ass is too big

I cant wear sexy nighties because I am round

I cant wear shorts my legs are too fat

I cant wear heels because people will laugh

I cant wear sexy because no one will believe it

I cant wear dress-up because I will be a joke instead of sensual

I cant wear ....

its amazing some of us leave the house with anything on at all. No stripes, loud colors, prints, nor white. However, glitter, sequins, animal prints and satin stripe around our necklines (the supposed smallest part of our upper body) are ok.

So I go to work wearing....extremely thin strapped tank tops...and shorts. And stripes and loud prints...REALLY LOUD prints. LOL. And I dyed my hair blue black and wear rich deep colors on my face. I cant wear heels but I paint my toes and I put on hats that dont match anything I wear. LOL. And they love me. Actually, they actually love themselves. And that...is what its all about...

[Soft*Silver]

I grew up not seeing what was in the mirror. I saw what everyone wanted me to see. Fat. Ugly. A round peg in a square hole. I couldnt see what I looked like. Just last year I realized I had green eyes. Not brown like everyone else in my family. All my life I wanted cheekbones. I realized this year I have them. I SO wanted lovely breasts. Dammit. I have incredible breasts! Just because I have some fat on me, I couldnt see these things. I saw the hue of shame, not the reality of me, when I looked in the mirror.

When we see ourselves thru others eyes, thru the smear of fat across our visual field, we lower our expectations of our worth, as well as the truth of who we are as individuals. I am not one of the Fat. I am not just a fat woman. I am a woman. I have extra pounds on me. But I have green eyes, cheekbones, nice breasts and alot of other things that I spent 5 decades denying to myself. And by god I am done not seeing who I am in the mirror. And if people dont like me wearing bright pink, they can kiss my rippled lovely ass because I have one of those beauties, too! LOL

[clay]

....just stopping by to say...WOW! You gorgeous, gorgeous and oh so sensual souls...I heart you ALL! Stunning...absolutely stunning...I slip in here to put a huge smile on my face..and to derive pure joy in the beauty that lies within this thread!....xoxoxo...all of you! ...

[clay]

Recently I have begun to have some serious health issues...and with having had major surg last december for colon cancer...these concerned me enough to see a GI surgeon recommended by my oncologist's office.
So, last Friday, I saw this "person"...after a resident came in to take my history, this "surgeon" walked in in his expensive suit, sat on the stool..looked at me..grinned and said" I can tell you why you had colon cancer, are having rectal bleeding now, and you have joint pain, and the reason you walk with that limp...is you are "morbidly obese" and I can fix all of that, with a gastric bypass". Your hernia I can't fix because you are so "big" that it will rupture again, and repeatedly, UNTIL you let me do a bypass on you....that is your only option...my jaw was on the floor....he wasn't even interested in asking me any of my history, never even looked at my hernia, and was there for less than 10 minutes...he gave me a brochure for the gastric bypass...and walked out.
The student in the room....his face was the color of a firetruck...he was jaw dropped, too...and he just looked at me sheepishly!
I walk with a limp because of a tragic motorcycle accident.
I had colon cancer....because who knows why...maybe genetically predisposed?
I have a hernia because the muscle was cut laterally...across the grain...and when was sutured, you can't suture the stringy strands...only the tendons and ligaments, so THAT is why I have a hernia.
I am well aware of how "big" I am...and I am well aware of the fact I also have lost 50 lbs. since last November...
and most importantly, I am well aware I have a HUGE kind, loving, and forgiving heart...and I own my fatness!
but him...he is just an ass..for which there is NO excuse!!!
Anyway, I am thick skinned and don't let asshats get to me..and NO I am NOT going to have a gastric bypass...I do NOT need to add to my woes, you know?
I rather be able to admire beautiful, big women.....like me....<wink>

[SugarFemme]

OMG Clay, I had something similar happen to me a few years ago. After having multiple spine surgeries due to degenerative disc disease, and still having major pain issues, it was decided by my pain doc that I should get a nerve stimulator implanted in my spine. I was totally on board with that because I had heard it did help. So the first step is you have to go see a psychiatrist for an evaluation to make sure you have no emotional issues that could be exacerbated by the implantation of a device into your body that you can see topically. Went and saw this ass*&^e of a shrink. The entire forty minutes was spent with him trying to convince me to go and get bypass surgery. Not once, did we discuss the nerve stimulator. Needless to say, I was so devastated with my experience with this schmuck, I gave up and never proceeded any further. My pain doc swore I needed the stimulator and would make sure he would find someone for me that wasn't going to be such a schmuck. I was just done. Oh and this is the same doc that while he was handing me an RX for a thirty day supply of steroids for inflammation, was telling me I need to lose weight. Go figure.

Originally Posted by claybaby

Recently I have begun to have some serious health issues...and with having had major surg last december for colon cancer...these concerned me enough to see a GI surgeon recommended by my oncologist's office.
So, last Friday, I saw this "person"...after a resident came in to take my history, this "surgeon" walked in in his expensive suit, sat on the stool..looked at me..grinned and said" I can tell you why you had colon cancer, are having rectal bleeding now, and you have joint pain, and the reason you walk with that limp...is you are "morbidly obese" and I can fix all of that, with a gastric bypass". Your hernia I can't fix because you are so "big" that it will rupture again, and repeatedly, UNTIL you let me do a bypass on you....that is your only option...my jaw was on the floor....he wasn't even interested in asking me any of my history, never even looked at my hernia, and was there for less than 10 minutes...he gave me a brochure for the gastric bypass...and walked out.
The student in the room....his face was the color of a firetruck...he was jaw dropped, too...and he just looked at me sheepishly!
I walk with a limp because of a tragic motorcycle accident.
I had colon cancer....because who knows why...maybe genetically predisposed?
I have a hernia because the muscle was cut laterally...across the grain...and when was sutured, you can't suture the stringy strands...only the tendons and ligaments, so THAT is why I have a hernia.
I am well aware of how "big" I am...and I am well aware of the fact I also have lost 50 lbs. since last November...
and most importantly, I am well aware I have a HUGE kind, loving, and forgiving heart...and I own my fatness!
but him...he is just an ass..for which there is NO excuse!!!
Anyway, I am thick skinned and don't let asshats get to me..and NO I am NOT going to have a gastric bypass...I do NOT need to add to my woes, you know?
I rather be able to admire beautiful, big women.....like me....<wink>

[Spirit Dancer]

Coming into my own acceptance wasn't easy, the whispers and just rude
comments were at times overwhelming.

For someone to say such a pretty face it would be better if you lost the weight. Really?
Those words cut deeper than any knife, I played ball was on the pep squad but truly never fit in due to my size.

Society labels "FAT" people as overeating, lazy, no motivation can't you just walk away from the plate.
Which simply isn't true; and here's the perfect example.
I went in for my annual review at work my manager said let me tell you something a patient said about you.
One of your patient states every time she comes in you are here there and every where running circles around the others,
you never stop but yet she's overweight.
My mouth fell open, as my manager said it's a compliment to you.
She then followed with i've noticed the same thing
and you barely eat when your here during lunch or take no lunch.
The review was glowing,
the comments caused me to pause,
the moral is FAT people work and play hard get noticed
for that and still people say why is she FAT.

To them I say my size doesn't make me who I am, it's merely a shell
protecting the best part of me.

[nycfem]

Sometimes people compliment my lean fingers. It sounds weird but I really get that occasionally! I always giggle and say thanks but what I really feel is angry, because it makes me feel like they found a thin part of me and thus a way to compliment me (kind of like the pretty face thing). On the flip side, I enjoy when people compliment my legs because it reminds me of my strength .

[clay]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

Sometimes people compliment my lean fingers. It sounds weird but I really get that occasionally! I always giggle and say thanks but what I really feel is angry, because it makes me feel like they found a thin part of me and thus a way to compliment me (kind of like the pretty face thing). On the flip side, I enjoy when people compliment my legs because it reminds me of my strength .

Honey...you have a beautiful soul and an incredible loving heart...I heart YOU!

[ruby_woo]

Originally Posted by Miss_Tia

I hear women telling me what they cant wear...

I cant expose my arms, they are too big

I cant wear belts, my stumach is too large

I cant wear pants, my ass is too big

I cant wear sexy nighties because I am round

I cant wear shorts my legs are too fat

I cant wear heels because people will laugh

I cant wear sexy because no one will believe it

I cant wear dress-up because I will be a joke instead of sensual

I cant wear ....

I've never had any problem wearing colours, stripes, showing my arms, etc., but until recently I never EVER wore pants. I hated my ass and thighs so much I thought I had to hide them in skirts all the time. I love pretty dresses and skirts, but it's nice to branch out every now and then.

I guess I've been able to throw that out the window because I wore skinny jeans to work today, and they were freakin' cute.