More on where do I fit in? Labels, why do we need them?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

There are so many things I'm still trying to figure out. It's frustrating when people assume that I'm bisexual because I'm definitely not. It's fine if someone doesn't get you but it's not okay when they tell you who you are.

I guess lesbian/femme makes the most sense for me now. I don't know why we need the labels. It's a shame that we can't just get to know each other without caring about sexual compatibility right away.

I don't think sexual compatibility has a whole lot to do with labels. Maybe on some level but this is not a dating site, per se, though plenty of us have coupled at one time or another by meeting someone here.

I can only speak for me. Out in the world, unless I specifically come out as a lesbian, no one knows that I am. Ditto as a femme. I just look like one more straight woman to others that see me. Oh, unless I am with a butch and all of a sudden the gears turn in their head and there is the recognition of who and what I am.

I have often felt it somewhat lonely when by myself to not have that recognition.

Here, that lesbian identity which was hard-won and hard-fought, first through my own self-acceptance, next acceptance by family and friends; can be proudly listed. If I could do it out in the RW, I would.

It is my identity. It signifies a very big part of who I am as a person, who I fall in love with and who I make love with. I am, of course many other things: mother, grandmother, nurse, feminist, etc. but lesbianism is the core of me.

I am grateful and glad I get to say it outloud here on the Planet.