More on where do I fit in? Labels, why do we need them?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by Angeltoes

There are so many things I'm still trying to figure out. It's frustrating when people assume that I'm bisexual because I'm definitely not. It's fine if someone doesn't get you but it's not okay when they tell you who you are.

I guess lesbian/femme makes the most sense for me now. I don't know why we need the labels. It's a shame that we can't just get to know each other without caring about sexual compatibility right away.

I don't think sexual compatibility has a whole lot to do with labels. Maybe on some level but this is not a dating site, per se, though plenty of us have coupled at one time or another by meeting someone here.

I can only speak for me. Out in the world, unless I specifically come out as a lesbian, no one knows that I am. Ditto as a femme. I just look like one more straight woman to others that see me. Oh, unless I am with a butch and all of a sudden the gears turn in their head and there is the recognition of who and what I am.

I have often felt it somewhat lonely when by myself to not have that recognition.

Here, that lesbian identity which was hard-won and hard-fought, first through my own self-acceptance, next acceptance by family and friends; can be proudly listed. If I could do it out in the RW, I would.

It is my identity. It signifies a very big part of who I am as a person, who I fall in love with and who I make love with. I am, of course many other things: mother, grandmother, nurse, feminist, etc. but lesbianism is the core of me.

I am grateful and glad I get to say it outloud here on the Planet.

[Jesse]

I am a human who happens to be connected to all other humans in one way or the other, and my name is Jesse. I'm good with that.

[LipstickLola]

Originally Posted by *Anya*

I don't think sexual compatibility has a whole lot to do with labels. Maybe on some level but this is not a dating site, per se, though plenty of us have coupled at one time or another by meeting someone here.

I can only speak for me. Out in the world, unless I specifically come out as a lesbian, no one knows that I am. Ditto as a femme. I just look like one more straight woman to others that see me. Oh, unless I am with a butch and all of a sudden the gears turn in their head and there is the recognition of who and what I am.

I have often felt it somewhat lonely when by myself to not have that recognition.

Here, that lesbian identity which was hard-won and hard-fought, first through my own self-acceptance, next acceptance by family and friends; can be proudly listed. If I could do it out in the RW, I would.

It is my identity. It signifies a very big part of who I am as a person, who I fall in love with and who I make love with. I am, of course many other things: mother, grandmother, nurse, feminist, etc. but lesbianism is the core of me.

I am grateful and glad I get to say it outloud here on the Planet.

Exactly! I could have written every word!

[Vivacious1]

I identify as "femme". I don't use this term to fit in, I use it because it is where I fit. As long as I can remember this is where I fit. Even when I was a little girl it was in my blood. In my opinion, I don't believe that it is a matter of "needing" this label, but I guess I would more describe it as a way to tell another about me in one word. I know that there are many varieties of every label but I don't find it important for myself to break it down any further. I am femme, proud and own everything that the word stands for.