"Wet Bias"

[SleepyButch]

This is a really great topic. Thanks for bringing it up. Please keep in mind that these are just my opinions and do not reflect the opinions of anyone else living, dead or undead for that matter.

I've been doing the online thing for a long long time, partially because I'm shy and partially because it's not been so easy to meet people who get me where I have lived.

I've met some really great people, both friends and gfs/lovers and I've also seen some people who portray themselves to be perfect in every way (fakes). I think when it comes to myself, while I am a more outgoing here, I am never not me meaning I want my real personality to be known.

When it comes to others, I don't think I necessary have "wet bias" as I try to figure people out for who they really are whether that means following posts, watching them in chat or getting to know them on a more personal level on the phone, skype, text. etc. If I am interested in someone, I tend to want to meet in person right away to even see if there is a connection up front. If there is not, why waste each other's time?

I am a bit of a skeptic at times. I've been lied to before in this type of forum as I'm sure a lot of us have experienced. I was talking to someone when I first started chatting and that person told me they were deaf so they couldn't talk on the phone. Fine with me but later on after we stopped talking, I found out that same person had interactions with a friend of mine who found out that person was a bio male! In those days, I had wet bias. I wanted to believe that everyone was what they said they were. I've learned some very valuable lessons over the years.

Now I usually am a pretty good judge of character and I pay attention. I can typically pick out those people who are not what they seem to be. I hate seeing them hurt other people that way.

I do love that people find love here. I love that there are couples that have met here and are still together after years. That gives a lot of us hope. I don't think that the person you are meant to be with is just around the corner most of the time. Don't get me wrong, they could be but why limit yourself when you have an ocean of opportunities right here not only for a partner but also for those friends that will be there for you at all hours of the night no matter what.


So in saying all of that, I just want to ask that when you are starting to interact with others here, remember that you are talking with someone else who has feelings. Make sure you are true to yourself and that other person. Don't lie about yourself or what you do. Don't lie about your health, your job, anything just to get sympathy from a trusting soul. Don't put up pictures that don't look like you because eventually if you meet someone, the truth will come out regarding all of these aspects. Just be kind to each other and the rest will fall into place if it's meant to do so.

I am not even sure I answered your question.. sorry.. lol. Oh well.... carry on.

[gaea]

I am subscribing to this thread, so many great things being said.

I guess for me if i tell you my favorite color is purple which it is you will see great evidence of that in my home....online or irl if one tells me their favorite color is say red online and then later irl i fond out its say blue there would be many red flags....

I would like to think "everyone is honest to the core" here Id like to think that anyway sadly enough i know that this isn't the case here or irl...

I will for certain be looking forward to reading more responses

[Kelt]

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

So in saying all of that, I just want to ask that when you are starting to interact with others here, remember that you are talking with someone else who has feelings. Make sure you are true to yourself and that other person. Don't lie about yourself or what you do. Don't lie about your health, your job, anything just to get sympathy from a trusting soul. Don't put up pictures that don't look like you because eventually if you meet someone, the truth will come out regarding all of these aspects. Just be kind to each other and the rest will fall into place if it's meant to do so.

I like this a lot. If everyone did this we could have a "wet bias".

Besides, the truth is easier to remember.

[thedivahrrrself]

I think in the real world, people are more cynical about internet relationships, so maybe that "wet bias" evens itself out.

I think the dating medium you use best depends on your personality. For me, I've dated folks online and I've met folks in person, and success is mixed with both.

I'm a bit shy at first with most people, but having those conversations and being able to open up to someone without seeing their reaction means that when we do meet, there is already a bond. You never know what chemistry will be like in person, but it's nice not to walk away from a first date with someone thinking I'm quiet (I'm so not!) because I wasn't sure what to talk about or I was too bashful to look them in the eye.

And our dating pool is very small, you cannot discount that. So the odds of online relationships working may be better for us than with "regular" queer or straight folk, simply because where else are we going to meet people who ID as butch/femme?