Infidelity - Page 5

Andrew, Jr. · 03-25-2010, 03:35 PM

Let me ask this question because I am confused. What business is it of mine if someone is cheating?

SuperFemme · 03-25-2010, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Let me ask this question because I am confused. What business is it of mine if someone is cheating?

None. At all. Unless they are cheating on you.

I think most in this thread are coming from that place...

WickedFemme · 03-25-2010, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi

With the Tiger Woods and Sandra Bullock ( who in their right mind would cheat on Sandra Bullock????) issues of late. I am wondering what people think of fidelity in relationships these days. Is it an outdated concept?
How do you think you would react if you found out your partner was cheating?

Personally, I still think monogamy is my relationship mode of choice because I like things simple and predictable. And I suspect if I found out my partner was cheating on me, I would be throwing their belongings out a second story window - its the Italian in me.

Who would cheat on Sandra Bullock? lol... all we know is what's on the outside and what the media tells us, which is usually way far from the truth and for which the purpose is to 'sell'.

Honesty is important to me regardless of the topic of conversation or the situation. People are dishonest for a variety of reasons about a variety of things depending on their own unique situations and/or issues.

Rook · 03-26-2010, 06:39 AM

a } Swans also mate for Life [and if I "read" the narrative correctly, Swans will try to kill themself if their mate dies]

b } You can be the sexiest vision ever to walk on 2 legs, that doesn't mean your "better half" won't go ga-ga over some piñata reject for some X or Y reason.

c } depending on the penguin species, the female can have more than 2 mates in 1 season, the male is stuck to 1..or 2..also, if the male is late in meeting the same female as last time, he's shit out of luck, a quicker male got her.Females are the ones who fight over the male.And last but not least, if I got my info. correct, like Most birds, the male lacks a specific weenie..it's hit or miss.[don't ask how I know this]

Kobi · 03-26-2010, 07:19 AM

* looks up at Rook.....seriously dude, you need to get out more.....LOL.*

Seems we mostly agree on honesty and respect as being hallmarks of our relationships, And that trust is hard to reestablish when deceit is thrown in the mix.

Thank you all for your thoughts and sharing of experiences!

IrishGrrl · 03-26-2010, 11:36 AM

The whole cheating thing. Wow. Well, I'm going to say that I strongly disagree with the whole "once a cheater always a cheater" thing. Once upon a time I was a cheater. Not in just one relationship either. Several. I"m not going to list my reasons for cheating..the point is mute. What is important is that I always had a "good reason" for it. (In my head) Usually it was something like, lack of sex in the relationship,or lack of attention from my partner. I recognize now that I was not at a point in my development to speak my mind, and fix it or leave. I wasnt strong enough..I wanted love to be a magical fix. Took me a long time to wake up from the bullshit we are taught as children about the whole fairytale. Now, I wouldnt cheat..not ever. If I"m in a position where I feel neglected to a point of no return, lack of sex..then I will end it. I'm aware of what I need, and what it takes. Even if it means letting the love of my life go..even if it kills me.

Irish

SuperFemme · 03-26-2010, 11:58 AM

wait.
i'm cute AND a pinata reject.

Jet · 03-26-2010, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kobi

With the Tiger Woods and Sandra Bullock ( who in their right mind would cheat on Sandra Bullock????) issues of late. I am wondering what people think of fidelity in relationships these days. Is it an outdated concept?
How do you think you would react if you found out your partner was cheating?

Personally, I still think monogamy is my relationship mode of choice because I like things simple and predictable. And I suspect if I found out my partner was cheating on me, I would be throwing their belongings out a second story window - its the Italian in me.

I have cheated and i have been cheated on, so I don't do relationships anymore. The thing about that scum ass Jesse James is that he was never man enough to handle her success. He's weak enough to act out being shown up by her limelight and tremendous success. She's gorgeous; brilliant, level and has million things going for her....any man who's a real man would die for that and he's nothing but a sleaze ass fuckin' baby who was nothing without her. Prick. My .02

apretty · 03-26-2010, 10:33 PM

also, i think you have to be what is known as a 'sack of shit' to cheat, but i agree with the above description as well: "It has to do with being a person with values, morals and personal integrity." well said, Jacks.

i almost cheated once and i got paid-back big time by then dating a worthless piece of no-job having, lying, broke ass, mean, woman-hitting, neanderthal sack of shit. thankfully he cheated cuz then i got to DUMP him and his few tired belongings back where i found him.

so i don't know if cheaters always cheat, i guess i believe that people are capable of change if they've had a life-changing event and did the work (professional, intensive therapy) and committed to change and staying changed. but that takes work and time, though it's not impossible.

SuperFemme · 03-26-2010, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jackhammer

I don't think it has much to do with being a "Real Man". (What is a Real Man anyway??????)

It has to do with being a person with values, morals and personal integrity.
Those standards to me are Gender neutral.

It also requires a level of emotional maturity that he apparently lacks.

Right.

Well said and THANKS for bringing up that pesky "real man" thingy.

He trolls for tattooed babes to visit his couch on MYSPACE for god's sake. I mean. Come on.

apretty · 03-26-2010, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Right.

Well said and THANKS for bringing up that pesky "real man" thingy.

He trolls for tattooed babes to visit his couch on MYSPACE for god's sake. I mean. Come on.

plus! what's worse--i heard the girlfriends interviewed and he *doesn't tip* servers. that's just BEYOND low. i think i'm more offended by the no-tipping than any of the other.

totally talking about tiger woods, here--wrong cheater! please disregard!

Jet · 03-26-2010, 10:38 PM

I believe in a real man thing because its how I was raised. I don;t see it as gender neutral...for reasons and traditions....i think what he did is bad...just my .02
to each his own i guess.

apretty · 03-26-2010, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

I believe in a real man thing because its how I was raised. I don;t see it as gender neutral...for reasons and traditions....i think what he did is bad...just my .02
to each his own i guess.

i think people are objecting to defining 'manhood' by something many good, honest, upstanding female BUTCHES do on a daily bases--treat their ladies right? ya know?

i know it's 'slang' to say 'man up' and mean 'good character' but words are powerful... they define us whether we realize it or not.

SuperFemme · 03-26-2010, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apretty

plus! what's worse--i heard the girlfriends interviewed and he *doesn't tip* servers. that's just BEYOND low. i think i'm more offended by the no-tipping than any of the other.

totally talking about tiger woods, here--wrong cheater! please disregard!

i get confused. bad tipper and the *vanilla gorilla* are both just lame IMO. who wants to bet on how many times NO condoms were used?

Ick. Ick. Ick.

Soon · 03-26-2010, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

i get confused. bad tipper and the *vanilla gorilla* are both just lame IMO. who wants to bet on how many times NO condoms were used?

Ick. Ick. Ick.

it seems that he wasn't fond of using the condoms...and THAT is what makes me really sick and mad. That is messed up--beyond.

SuperFemme · 03-26-2010, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HowSoonIsNow

it seems that he wasn't fond of using the condoms...and THAT is what makes me really sick and mad. That is messed up--beyond.

Yeah. Sick and mad don't even cover it.

apretty · 03-26-2010, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

i get confused. bad tipper and the *vanilla gorilla* are both just lame IMO. who wants to bet on how many times NO condoms were used?

Ick. Ick. Ick.

seriously, i would bet no condoms were used, ever.

...i would have used that golf club to beat down the door of a free clinic.

SuperFemme · 03-26-2010, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by apretty

seriously, i would bet no condoms were used, ever.

...i would have used that golf club to beat down the door of a free clinic.

Sandra Bullocks advice to Elin Woods: "If I were Elin, man, I would have hit a lot more than she did. I would have kept hitting! She stopped. She was respectable. I'd get the baseball bat. I'd get everything out."

apretty · 03-26-2010, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Sandra Bullocks advice to Elin Woods: "If I were Elin, man, I would have hit a lot more than she did. I would have kept hitting! She stopped. She was respectable. I'd get the baseball bat. I'd get everything out."

glass houses.

BullDog · 03-26-2010, 10:52 PM

To me infidelity is about dishonesty and lies, not about sex. In my book if you lie then that's infidelity- either in a relationship or potential relationship. Lies and omissions are incredibly hurtful and it shows a very poor character.

Being a faithful and honest person applies to all genders. It has nothing to do with being man enough, woman enough, or any other gender enough.

03-26-2010, 06:39 AM	#84
Rook Senior Member How Do You Identify?: A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?: Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Columbus Posts: 2,280 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,227 Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	a } Swans also mate for Life [and if I "read" the narrative correctly, Swans will try to kill themself if their mate dies] b } You can be the sexiest vision ever to walk on 2 legs, that doesn't mean your "better half" won't go ga-ga over some piñata reject for some X or Y reason. c } depending on the penguin species, the female can have more than 2 mates in 1 season, the male is stuck to 1..or 2..also, if the male is late in meeting the same female as last time, he's shit out of luck, a quicker male got her.Females are the ones who fight over the male.And last but not least, if I got my info. correct, like Most birds, the male lacks a specific weenie..it's hit or miss.[don't ask how I know this] __________________

03-26-2010, 07:19 AM	#85
Kobi Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status: Happy Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Hanging out in the Atlantic. Posts: 9,234 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,840 Thanked 34,636 Times in 7,642 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	* looks up at Rook.....seriously dude, you need to get out more.....LOL.* Seems we mostly agree on honesty and respect as being hallmarks of our relationships, And that trust is hard to reestablish when deceit is thrown in the mix. Thank you all for your thoughts and sharing of experiences! __________________

03-26-2010, 10:33 PM	#89
apretty Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: sea shell Relationship Status: married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: san diego Posts: 1,687 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,927 Thanked 4,373 Times in 1,012 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	also, i think you have to be what is known as a 'sack of shit' to cheat, but i agree with the above description as well: "It has to do with being a person with values, morals and personal integrity." well said, Jacks. i almost cheated once and i got paid-back big time by then dating a worthless piece of no-job having, lying, broke ass, mean, woman-hitting, neanderthal sack of shit. thankfully he cheated cuz then i got to DUMP him and his few tired belongings back where i found him. so i don't know if cheaters always cheat, i guess i believe that people are capable of change if they've had a life-changing event and did the work (professional, intensive therapy) and committed to change and staying changed. but that takes work and time, though it's not impossible. Last edited by apretty; 03-26-2010 at 10:36 PM.

03-26-2010, 10:52 PM	#100
BullDog Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Dominant Stone Butch Daddy Preferred Pronoun?: She Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In A Healing Place Posts: 5,371 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 18,160 Thanked 22,666 Times in 4,464 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	To me infidelity is about dishonesty and lies, not about sex. In my book if you lie then that's infidelity- either in a relationship or potential relationship. Lies and omissions are incredibly hurtful and it shows a very poor character. Being a faithful and honest person applies to all genders. It has nothing to do with being man enough, woman enough, or any other gender enough. __________________ Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. - Rainer Maria Rilke

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03-25-2010, 03:35 PM	#81
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	Let me ask this question because I am confused. What business is it of mine if someone is cheating?

03-26-2010, 11:36 AM	#86
IrishGrrl Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Leatherdyke Preferred Pronoun?: She/her Relationship Status: In a relationship/non-monogamous Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Fort Worth, TX Posts: 877 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 276 Thanked 1,209 Times in 366 Posts Rep Power: 2427288	The whole cheating thing. Wow. Well, I'm going to say that I strongly disagree with the whole "once a cheater always a cheater" thing. Once upon a time I was a cheater. Not in just one relationship either. Several. I"m not going to list my reasons for cheating..the point is mute. What is important is that I always had a "good reason" for it. (In my head) Usually it was something like, lack of sex in the relationship,or lack of attention from my partner. I recognize now that I was not at a point in my development to speak my mind, and fix it or leave. I wasnt strong enough..I wanted love to be a magical fix. Took me a long time to wake up from the bullshit we are taught as children about the whole fairytale. Now, I wouldnt cheat..not ever. If I"m in a position where I feel neglected to a point of no return, lack of sex..then I will end it. I'm aware of what I need, and what it takes. Even if it means letting the love of my life go..even if it kills me. Irish

03-26-2010, 11:58 AM	#87
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,108 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	wait. i'm cute AND a pinata reject.

03-26-2010, 10:38 PM	#92
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,647 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	I believe in a real man thing because its how I was raised. I don;t see it as gender neutral...for reasons and traditions....i think what he did is bad...just my .02 to each his own i guess.