Femmes Who Strap <3

candy_coated_bitch · 11-15-2013, 11:08 PM

Yes, yes, yes on the seeing and experiencing Femme Cock shaming and "ewwwing". It really pisses me off and I try and speak up about the fact that I have a cock whenever it seems like people need to check their assumptions at the door. I mean, how could someone who looks cute and girly use and identify with a cock, right? *facepalm*

I have strapped since my first ever sexual relationship when I was a teenager. It's always been "normal" to me. My boyfriend was a cisman and a lot older and he asked me to strap with him, so I did and I really liked it. Over time, I came to really identify with my cock and wanting to being the one that penetrates and fucks, and there is a lot of gender shit bound up in there that I think Femmes RARELY ever get to talk about. My cock is essential to me, and is a part of my identity. I would love to see Femme cock talked about openly and freely.

I was never SHAMED for it, though, until I came into the Butch/Femme community. The online shaming is particularly bad, I agree with that. Though I have been shamed in r/t and seen my partners shamed in both forums (for lack of a better word). I have been worried about being honest about being open about that aspect of my sexuality before due to these experiences. These days I give less of a shit except for where I feel it's necessary to speak up and be visible, and lend my solidarity as a Femme and also to feminine women being sexually empowered in general.

It gets really tiring to STILL see certain sex activities being AUTOMATICALY labeled as masculine or feminine or dominant or submissive or any combination thereof. For me, my cock is very much wrapped up in my experience as a Dominant--but that's my experience of it. And I have never been less Femme for strapping, nor ever seen my partners as less Butch or less of a man.

I will leave it at that for now, but I really look forward to more conversation and will try to come back at another time when I feel more able, to talk about Femme cock and gender.

Martina · 11-16-2013, 12:52 AM

It's kinda reassuring to read this re the shaming -- sadly. Sometimes I think this stuff is just me, being overly sensitive, or framing things too often in terms of some ism or another. But it really does happen, doesn't it?

The worst I ever got in this community, offline and on, was not re femme cock but when I first dated a femme (here in CA). Real "ewwwwws" from people who ought to know better. Lots of them. The worst of it is that a few people weren't nice to the woman I was seeing. Oh well. Old news.

View Poll Results: Femme cock poll - I'm a femme and I:
Love to strap and find it vital to my sex life.	16	10.88%
Enjoy strapping and am happy when/if I get to.	30	20.41%
Tried strapping and hated it and/or didn't like it.	18	12.24%
Have never tried it, but would like to.	21	14.29%
Never ever ever want to strap.	62	42.18%
Voters: 147. You may not vote on this poll

11-15-2013, 11:08 PM	#1
candy_coated_bitch Pixie Stick How Do You Identify?: The arteest formerly known as musicfemme. Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Happily taken. Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Northampton, MA Posts: 11,293 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 31,723 Thanked 31,821 Times in 6,109 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Yes, yes, yes on the seeing and experiencing Femme Cock shaming and "ewwwing". It really pisses me off and I try and speak up about the fact that I have a cock whenever it seems like people need to check their assumptions at the door. I mean, how could someone who looks cute and girly use and identify with a cock, right? facepalm I have strapped since my first ever sexual relationship when I was a teenager. It's always been "normal" to me. My boyfriend was a cisman and a lot older and he asked me to strap with him, so I did and I really liked it. Over time, I came to really identify with my cock and wanting to being the one that penetrates and fucks, and there is a lot of gender shit bound up in there that I think Femmes RARELY ever get to talk about. My cock is essential to me, and is a part of my identity. I would love to see Femme cock talked about openly and freely. I was never SHAMED for it, though, until I came into the Butch/Femme community. The online shaming is particularly bad, I agree with that. Though I have been shamed in r/t and seen my partners shamed in both forums (for lack of a better word). I have been worried about being honest about being open about that aspect of my sexuality before due to these experiences. These days I give less of a shit except for where I feel it's necessary to speak up and be visible, and lend my solidarity as a Femme and also to feminine women being sexually empowered in general. It gets really tiring to STILL see certain sex activities being AUTOMATICALY labeled as masculine or feminine or dominant or submissive or any combination thereof. For me, my cock is very much wrapped up in my experience as a Dominant--but that's my experience of it. And I have never been less Femme for strapping, nor ever seen my partners as less Butch or less of a man. I will leave it at that for now, but I really look forward to more conversation and will try to come back at another time when I feel more able, to talk about Femme cock and gender. __________________ My Etsy Shop My Patreon My Website

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11-16-2013, 12:52 AM	#2
Martina Senior Member How Do You Identify?: * Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: * Posts: 4,999 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,409 Thanked 18,281 Times in 4,165 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	It's kinda reassuring to read this re the shaming -- sadly. Sometimes I think this stuff is just me, being overly sensitive, or framing things too often in terms of some ism or another. But it really does happen, doesn't it? The worst I ever got in this community, offline and on, was not re femme cock but when I first dated a femme (here in CA). Real "ewwwwws" from people who ought to know better. Lots of them. The worst of it is that a few people weren't nice to the woman I was seeing. Oh well. Old news.