Mental Illness

[Jedi]

I had been feeling increasingly depressed lately. For a number of reasons....

I'm working this temporary job and was sent out of town on business last week. I was given work this week in Delray Beach this week and it's about 17 miles....not far. At my last 45 minutes...I was given this 6 ft section...I asked the project manager to help me set the shelves by moving them with me with the merchandise still on them...it was the quickest way to get the section moved as it was all saline and contact lens cleaner and eye drops (I'm doing a walgreens reset)...well anyway...before I ramble on...long story short...he helped me out and then tonight as I was leaving he told me I was doing really well...and everytime he comes out to me on the floor while I'm working on an area he always says..."Let's set the pace" and things like that.
So...I didn't think I was doing so well. I was busting my butt to only touch things once and get stuff moved. And I was stuck with peg hooks again...and was given about 9 ft to do by myself. It took me 6 1/5 hrs. So...the 45 minutes for 6 ft was really unrealistic. And I had an idea that totally gave us a jump for morning shift. And, he said I was really doing good work...that felt good. I was afraid (the way they kept checking on me), that I was moving too slow. And I thought I heard my name mentioned and a "yeah...I'll talk to her" but that could just be my illness. And I hate that kind of stuff. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does...... I kept my mouth shut and my mind on doing the job. And it appears to be nothing.

I feel really good that I'm doing much better than what I had been thinking all day. Another thing I hate about the illness...it makes me doubt myself. And it isn't rational...so it doesn't sit well with me. I functioned in spite of it and I think a lot of it is thanks to medication. Which I remembered to take today... So today was a good day.

Here's hoping you all had a good day, too... (I try to remember to count my blessings everyday)

[chefhottie25]

Originally Posted by JediMaster

I had been feeling increasingly depressed lately. For a number of reasons....

I'm working this temporary job and was sent out of town on business last week. I was given work this week in Delray Beach this week and it's about 17 miles....not far. At my last 45 minutes...I was given this 6 ft section...I asked the project manager to help me set the shelves by moving them with me with the merchandise still on them...it was the quickest way to get the section moved as it was all saline and contact lens cleaner and eye drops (I'm doing a walgreens reset)...well anyway...before I ramble on...long story short...he helped me out and then tonight as I was leaving he told me I was doing really well...and everytime he comes out to me on the floor while I'm working on an area he always says..."Let's set the pace" and things like that.
So...I didn't think I was doing so well. I was busting my butt to only touch things once and get stuff moved. And I was stuck with peg hooks again...and was given about 9 ft to do by myself. It took me 6 1/5 hrs. So...the 45 minutes for 6 ft was really unrealistic. And I had an idea that totally gave us a jump for morning shift. And, he said I was really doing good work...that felt good. I was afraid (the way they kept checking on me), that I was moving too slow. And I thought I heard my name mentioned and a "yeah...I'll talk to her" but that could just be my illness. And I hate that kind of stuff. It doesn't happen too often, but when it does...... I kept my mouth shut and my mind on doing the job. And it appears to be nothing.

I feel really good that I'm doing much better than what I had been thinking all day. Another thing I hate about the illness...it makes me doubt myself. And it isn't rational...so it doesn't sit well with me. I functioned in spite of it and I think a lot of it is thanks to medication. Which I remembered to take today... So today was a good day.

Here's hoping you all had a good day, too... (I try to remember to count my blessings everyday)

I can relate to the self doubt. I do it all the time...even when I am doing things I know that I did well before my diagnosis. I just started a new job and I have been experiencing that a lot lately. I just keep telling myself to keep at it, that I am being too hard on myself.

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by chefhottie25

I can relate to the self doubt. I do it all the time...even when I am doing things I know that I did well before my diagnosis. I just started a new job and I have been experiencing that a lot lately. I just keep telling myself to keep at it, that I am being too hard on myself.

I'm glad someone else out there can relate...I feel less alone. Forgot my meds today. Remembered before it was too late though. I hate when that happens. And I engaged in some typical sick behavior today which disturbed me. I just don't like when I have days like these. Although.....the depression isn't as bad.

[Andrew, Jr.]

I hope everyone is doing well. Enjoy your weekend!

[Heart]

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

[Jedi]

Originally Posted by Heart

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

Very nice...I keep getting told I'm stronger than I think.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Has anyone been watching the Discovery Health series on mental illness? I only got to watch 1 show of it. I have been way too busy to catch it when it has been on.

[chefhottie25]

Originally Posted by Heart

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

This is a great quote. I would also encourage people to check out the NAMI website that you linked. They offer some amazing support groups. I attend one here at the local NAMI branch. There is also a group for family members, partners,and friends of someone who suffers from mental illness. My dad has found the group to be supportive and insightful.

[Andrew, Jr.]

This place holds me together on some days. Today is one of those days.

[lilapache]

i had this same thing sent to me on facebook... never really thought of it that way... *smiles* of course i haven't been thinking right for awhile... but i'm starting to get back on track...

Originally Posted by Heart

"Depression is not a sign of weakness - it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long."

The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) http://www.nami.org.

[Leigh]

I've been on disability for depression and panic/anxiety attacks for almost three years now, and despite that I try not to let things get Me down. I'm on wellbutrin now and it seems to be doing the trick; I was on celexa at one point and when that didn't work anymore they tried Me on effexor ...... well, I took that for only a week and it was a disaster. On effexor I was constantly dizzy, weak, shaky and had to sleep ~ I couldn't take it so wellbutrin it's been and for Me its working perfectly fine.

I have to admit that coming out as being FTM has soared My confidence and self-esteem along with the meds, I've noticed a considerable change in Myself in so many ways. I'm thankful for the meds, though some may think it sound weird, without them I don't think I'd be able to function properly. Some days I just wanna throw the pill bottle out the window, but then again as long as they help Me then I will continue to take them. I'm glad that we have threads like this on the Planet because not only does it give those of us with mental health issues a place to vent and talk about stuff with others who know what we are going through, but it also just gives us the knowledge that we're not alone!

I'm thankful for all of you