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09-01-2011, 06:50 AM
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#121 |
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Senior Member
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Understated butch. Preferred Pronoun?:
I Relationship Status:
Party of One Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,654
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Thanked 3,115 Times in 1,103 Posts
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Saw a shirt last night at Newbury Comics that said:
I like you. You die last. I Need That Shirt.
__________________
Really? That's not funny to you? |
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09-01-2011, 07:21 AM
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#122 |
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Member
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TG Gender Queer Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Married Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 730
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Thanked 2,733 Times in 642 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851  |
someone posted this as a fb status... made me lol for real:
Repost This If Someone Is Alive Today Because You Can't Afford A Hitman! |
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09-01-2011, 05:48 PM
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#123 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she Relationship Status:
single 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: ms
Posts: 139
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Thanked 306 Times in 95 Posts
Rep Power: 3766495 |
laughing man at comedy barn
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mh-zkIJ5cJk&feature=fvst"]YouTube - Laughing Old Man at Comedy Barn.mp4 - YouTube[/nomedia]
i laughed til i cried |
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09-02-2011, 12:59 PM
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#124 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
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Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
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I would just like to share an experience with you all, and it has to do with drinking and driving.
As you know some of us have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd party over the years. Well, I for one have done something about it: Last night I was out for a few drinks with some mates and had way too many glasses of the good old white wine. Knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. I took a bus home. I arrived home safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never driven a bus before!! |
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09-02-2011, 04:31 PM
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#125 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
. 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: .
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Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts
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Watching VH1 and the classic SNL skit with Janet Jackson about cork soakers. Made me crack up!
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09-02-2011, 05:05 PM
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#126 |
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Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Usually "Hello" Relationship Status:
Married and Bound to Tommi's kaijira (Ts_kaijira )  Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Suthun.... California that is. Across the ridge from Laguna Beach.
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Thanked 21,337 Times in 5,970 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
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09-10-2011, 08:07 AM
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#127 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
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"inside me, There's a thin women trying to get out........But i can usually shut the cow up with chocolate."
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09-10-2011, 08:42 AM
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#128 |
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Italian Stallion
How Do You Identify?:
DNA Usually... Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: In a van, down by the river..
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Thanked 4,714 Times in 1,263 Posts
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Holding up a lottery ticket, a husband says to his wife."What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She says..."I would take half, then leave you." "Excellent", he replies...."I won 12 bucks. Here's $6, now get out." |
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09-10-2011, 11:08 AM
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#129 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Understated butch. Preferred Pronoun?:
I Relationship Status:
Party of One Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,654
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Thanked 3,115 Times in 1,103 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852 |
hey, dapperbutch
Well-known and oft-told Mainer Joke:
You goin' to Bangor tonight? Bangor? I hardly know 'er!
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Really? That's not funny to you? |
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09-10-2011, 11:20 AM
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#130 | |
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Roadster Guy
How Do You Identify?:
FTM, Stone Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
He 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Northeast
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Quote:
A funny dork.
__________________
-Dapper    Are you educated or indoctrinated? |
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09-10-2011, 01:35 PM
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#131 |
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Infamous Member
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Woman Preferred Pronoun?:
HER - SHE Relationship Status:
Relating Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird
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From time to time, I pop into this thread to get a laugh or two. I think it is a fun thread- except there are some jokes about size and weight that I find offensive. And the site covers sizism as against its TOS.
Sometimes we don't recognize that "fat" jokes can hurt people deeply. One of the things I was amazed with while I went through a period of my life in which I was obese was that people will just make comments about weight without any thought at all. The other thing that bothers me about this is that many people that deal with weight issues have some very serious and life threatening eating disorders and I feel that fat jokes are just another way to divert attention away from serious thought about something that can be seriously impacting someone's life. This was hard for me to post in some ways as having some threads that are for joking around is a good thing and I honestly doubt that anyone that has posted a joke involving weight is really meaning to be cruel in any way. I just think this is something to have sensitivity to. |
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09-10-2011, 04:59 PM
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#132 |
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Member
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Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Serene Highness ;} Relationship Status:
Dreamily contemplating some outrage against conventional morality 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Houston area
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Buuuuh dump bum
A photon goes on vacation, when she gets to the hotel the clerk says, "Ma'am, may I help you with your bags" she says "No, thanks, I'm traveling light".
__________________
. "I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction. " Ayn Rand, Anthem "So you'll die happily for your sins. You'd rather die in guilt then live in love?" Timothy Leary |
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09-19-2011, 02:01 PM
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#133 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
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Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
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The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers . . . .
..so I did . . . . she's 21 and her name's Angela. My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking - And then I saw her face . . . . Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. The locals were shouting paedophile and other names at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary! My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vesta matches.....his little face lit up when he tried to walk. Last edited by Janstevie; 09-19-2011 at 02:11 PM. |
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09-29-2011, 10:57 AM
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#134 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Soft Butch Relationship Status:
single Join Date: May 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,814
Thanks: 112
Thanked 1,331 Times in 411 Posts
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Having a smoking section in a restaurant is a little like having a peeing section in a pool.
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09-29-2011, 11:25 AM
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#135 |
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Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
A.G - Stone Butch - GenderFuck Preferred Pronoun?:
Hym, Hyz...or, just b respectable, it's not that hard.. 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Columbus
Posts: 2,280
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Thanked 3,182 Times in 1,287 Posts
Rep Power: 21474854 |
         
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09-29-2011, 11:40 AM
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#136 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: where salt is used for Margaritas not Snow
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DO you fart in bed? IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL PRAY FOR YOU. THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT. THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS DAY MORNING, AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS, NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS, AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS SHORTS.. SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD. ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'. 'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS WIFE. 'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED. BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT MOST OF THEM BACK IN!
 LMAO
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~ I believe that pleasing everyone is impossible..... but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake ~ |
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09-29-2011, 12:03 PM
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#137 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?:
50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status:
married to my forever 
Join Date: May 2011
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now THAT was freaking hilarious!! GOOD one, Kat!!! I'm laughing so hard, I am almost peeing my pants....thanks..I NEEDED this!
Quote:
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To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault |
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09-29-2011, 12:14 PM
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#138 |
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Member
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femme Preferred Pronoun?:
she
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: where salt is used for Margaritas not Snow
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Clay isn't that a hoot? I saw it on the internet and just had to post it. I was ROTFL myself till I cried... glad I could make you laugh !
__________________
~ I believe that pleasing everyone is impossible..... but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake ~ |
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09-29-2011, 12:36 PM
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#139 | |
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Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?:
50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status:
married to my forever
Join Date: May 2011
Location: salt air & sandy beaches
Posts: 13,136
Thanks: 97,020
Thanked 31,665 Times in 7,748 Posts
Rep Power: 21474864 |
hey Kat...I am STILL laughing so hard....and yes, it was a hoot! Too freaking funny. I will NEVER look at giblets in the same light again, when making giblet gravy for Thanksgiving dinner...lmao...and will probably die laughing then, as well.
Quote:
__________________
To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault |
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09-29-2011, 06:57 PM
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#140 |
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Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Relationship Status:
The glass slipper shattered and I can't stop staring at the shards.
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Canada
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A nude woman staring in the bedroom mirror says to her husband, "I feel absolutely horrible. I feel so fat and ugly! Please pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, "Well, your eyesight is damn near perfect." :^)
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All the diamonds in this world that mean anything to me are conjured up by wind and sunlight sparkling on the sea. -Bruce Cockburn- |
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