Differently Abled (fly your freak flag high)

[Andrew, Jr.]

Wheelie,

I avoid Second Life.

I am not good with words or communication.

[WheelieStrong]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Wheelie,

I avoid Second Life.

I am not good with words or communication.

i started using second life again exactly because of that issue, i have no social outlet at all, most weeks i only see my ex, who lives with me and provides care, it all gets a bit too much for me

i don't cope in social situations, i've never cried so much with loneliness and frustration as i have in the weeks since i went back to trying to be social online.. but i can't go back to being on my own in the real world and nothing else.

My ex may live here but unless i need help, and/or she wants to shout at me, we dont spend any time in the same room.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Wheelie,

I am home too 24/7/365 unless I am at Church, or the doctors office or having labs run.

I was used to mailing out prayer cards for those who were hurting or sick, or who's parents were grieving. I also was used to sending reading material from the Church to those who asked for it all out of my own pocket. The Church never paid for that. I did. But it was my joy to do so.

Yep, I know about social isolation. That is the main reason I come online. That is why I hang onto my pets, and my outdoor activities like bird watching and feeding Hank and Honey. People may laugh at me, but they give me so much love and joy. I cry a lot too. I so know that feeling.

Anyway, sorry for my long rant.

Andrew

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by WheelieStrong

i started using second life again exactly because of that issue, i have no social outlet at all, most weeks i only see my ex, who lives with me and provides care, it all gets a bit too much for me

i don't cope in social situations, i've never cried so much with loneliness and frustration as i have in the weeks since i went back to trying to be social online.. but i can't go back to being on my own in the real world and nothing else.

My ex may live here but unless i need help, and/or she wants to shout at me, we dont spend any time in the same room.

What do you think is frustrating you so much Wheelie? You so far have been articulate and easy to talk to. Honest.

I have NO idea what Second Life is, but assume it is something along the lines of WOW? You get to be a character?

My best advice to you is to keep on coming back and reading, posting, etc...socialize on small step at a time. I am ill and this is a big portion of my social network, being ill can be isolating. I don't know what I'd do without my community!

Please don't disappear because I hate to think of you over there with nobody to talk to other than somebody yelling at you. Ack! Private message me if you ever need to just talk.

[WheelieStrong]

Originally Posted by Andrew, Jr.

Anyway, sorry for my long rant.

i hope it's ok just to give you a friendly hug which i can't find so *hug* sorry..

i didn't see any ranting, only saying how things are for you.. A lot of which i understand completely my guinea pig Sebastian is the one thing that probably keeps me sane in this world and he is my baby boy, he is the closest thing i will ever have to child but i think i would trust him more than a child any day..
he doesn't judge me when i'm struggling with things or my mental health has me all screwed up inside.

When i came out of hospital after maor surgery last year one of the first things i did was hold him and i couldn't help but cry because he genuinely seemed to have missed me, he licked me so much i just felt so special even if it was only a furry little animal weighing not much more that 2.2lbs who thought so.

i am so sorry people have hurt you!
People hurt me too which is one of the reason i am not very social in real life, but weirdly it doesn't stop me from trying to connect to people.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Wheelie,

I will take a hug from you any day or night. Much thanks!

Yes, my animals are my life. I just adore them. I have a very deep bond with my pets. I cannot imagine life without them. I am just not myself of lately.

[SuperFemme]

does anyone else in here have kids or teens?

if so, do they try to walk all over you in regards to your different abledness?

[Rockinonahigh]

Hi Anderw n Wheelie I want u both to know that nither of u are alone in this world we live in even tho u are not as social as u wold like to be.I to understand the lonelyness that comes from being at home for what ever reason.As u may know im profoundy deff and many times my speach is sorta funky slow and not understandable.Over the years I have just delt with it by keeping my friendship group to the ppl that count,not ppl who make me feel bad or dont understand how being difrently abled is to deal with.I also have two fur kids who are my best friends who go most every where I go,yes I talk to them too and in there own way talk to me ..fur kids talk u just got to know how to listen.
For a while after my accident I went from haveing friends who were at my place every day,we did a lot of hanging out hear and there,went places and so on.After the accident....well most of them just droped of the face of the earth...and really that is ok cause if they dont want to hang with me cause now in a bit slower than before and need to becarefull in somethings I do,I really dont need theire bs.I figure its there loss not mine.One thing I do for myself is get out of the house even if its only in the yard doing something possitive.Wheelie if u have any kind of case worker or a way to find a suport group to get to know give it a try,there are programs that have buses to pick u up and take u to what ever they have planed,even can get u a medical aid to help if u need one.
Both of u can feel free to pm me anytime and I will anser.

[ravfem]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

does anyone else in here have kids or teens?

if so, do they try to walk all over you in regards to your different abledness?

i have a 19 year old son. When he lived at home (he's out on his own now) he would walk all over me because i was too easy with him, but he never took advantage of my disability, per se. (i have cerebral palsy)

When he was a toddler/pre-schooler and we would watch tv together, he would hold my left hand and rub it against his face and talk to it. He called it "yittle hand" (little hand) i always thought it was sweet.

Are you having any kid issues, SF?

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by ravfem

i have a 19 year old son. When he lived at home (he's out on his own now) he would walk all over me because i was too easy with him, but he never took advantage of my disability, per se. (i have cerebral palsy)

When he was a toddler/pre-schooler and we would watch tv together, he would hold my left hand and rub it against his face and talk to it. He called it "yittle hand" (little hand) i always thought it was sweet.

Are you having any kid issues, SF?

for the most part my kids are really good, but sometimes they can work my brain injury in their favor. it makes me insane.

truthfully it makes me insane because i am never sure who is right. i can swear i said be home at midnite and the teen will stare at me defiantly and swear i didn't give a time.

mostly, i write important things down, but sometimes it is crazy making. the good news is that 98% of the time they are super protective of me.

it's been a long road to that point.

[ravfem]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

for the most part my kids are really good, but sometimes they can work my brain injury in their favor. it makes me insane.

truthfully it makes me insane because i am never sure who is right. i can swear i said be home at midnite and the teen will stare at me defiantly and swear i didn't give a time.

mostly, i write important things down, but sometimes it is crazy making. the good news is that 98% of the time they are super protective of me.

it's been a long road to that point.

i was gonna suggest writing things down.

Tony would do that to me too....i think that's a teen thing in general, seeing how much they can get over on us. i finally started writing his curfews down on the dry erase board in the kitchen, and made sure he knew he was responsible for looking at it on the way out the door, that way he had to stop using the, "i didn't know what time curfew was" excuse. Also taught him that the ignorance defense in general wasn't gonna fly.

He is also protective of me. When we're out and i'm navigating steps or rough terrain, he walks slightly ahead and keeps an eye on me. It makes me so proud of him.

In general, teens really are as bad as all the cliches about them.

[WheelieStrong]

Rockinonahigh, i did try going to a couple of day centers, to get a break from being in my flat and stuff, but they were full of old people who slept most of the day and i would be the only person awake under 60 who didn't have severe comunication snd/or educational issues, so there was no benefit to me being there, at least at home i have access to the internet!

if you ever wanna chat i'm online most of the time

[Rockinonahigh]

Wheelie,have u tryed the senior citizens centers in your area//Ours hear has bingo,party nights,a really good lunch for $3.00 as well as a fue other things going on.Chek them out.

[Miami]

Hi everyone. Many of you who are from B-F know me as Miami Butch, but I thought I'd shorten it to Miami here. Anyway, I have been in and out of a wheelchair for many years now due to a motorcycle accident, arthritis in both knees, Spina Bifida and a myriad of other reasons. I'm ok with being a gimp. And I can call myself by that particular term all I want, after all, it's ME I'm talking about, not anyone else. There are certain perks that come with having a body that is otherly abled. Like, I get to go first in line at Disney, and I can park practically inside the gates, thanks to that wonderful invention the handicapped sticker, and I don't have to pay at a meter, as long as my handicapped plaque is displayed. The downside is that there are a LOT of places that are a royal pain in the rump to get into and out of, because they're not ADA compatible. Ever try to open a door while trying to keep your wheelchair from rolling into the street because the incline is so bad?? NOT pretty. lol
I'm ok with myself, and that's the most important thing. The thing that really ticks me off is when ppl assume that there's something wrong with my BRAIN just because my legs don't work very well. I hate when ppl condescend to me, and try to speak in simple phrases, as if I have a monosyllabalic vocabulary... You can imagine the surprised looks that I get when I not only answer in an intelligent and cohesive manner, but often, just to mess with the person's head, I'll even throw out a plethora of words which sometimes THEY don't understand... All the while laughing my ass off inside. Petty, isn't it? But sometimes, ppl need to be shamed into treating you as an EQUAL instead of as someone who is LESS.

[Rook]

Im currently working the details on " officially" making my ferrets into " service animals", they would be of enormous Help letting me know or be aware of nearby activity(i'm profoundly deaf*reminder*) and during the holidays, they can help me with calming down in places like wal mart, the crowds literally make my bp shoot up high , if i lose my familys location i realized my temper is lightning quick(borderline personality*reminder*) & i will feel intense confusion, dizzines with added bonus of occasional passing out, walmart hates when that happens , i'm a lawsuit waiting to happen i guess.... So, yeah, certify them , get i.d's for them and make sure i wont have to recite ADA...

[Plato]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

for the most part my kids are really good, but sometimes they can work my brain injury in their favor. it makes me insane.
truthfully it makes me insane because i am never sure who is right. i can swear i said be home at midnite and the teen will stare at me defiantly and swear i didn't give a time.
mostly, i write important things down, but sometimes it is crazy making. the good news is that 98% of the time they are super protective of me.
it's been a long road to that point.

It's been a long road, but with you, they KNOW where the sides of the road are!
Me, well, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt.
That's why we have such a great sense of balance in our home.
THAT is an awesome gift to give our children.
I'm soooo happy you are such a GREAT Mommy.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Plato

It's been a long road, but with you, they KNOW where the sides of the road are!
Me, well, I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt.
That's why we have such a great sense of balance in our home.
THAT is an awesome gift to give our children.
I'm soooo happy you are such a GREAT Mommy.

Are you saying I am the meanie poo poo?

Damn skippy I am. I can always count on you to make me feel like I am a good Mommy. Even when I'm not because I want to murder little people.

[Delish]

Where I lived on the MS/TN line, my job went down to p/t and after trying to find something else to supplement my income, I gave in and found a job and moved back to my mothers in Alabama. At first I looked at it as if it was a sign from God that I needed to be back where I said I would NEVER live again, to help my mother take care of my grandmother with Alzheimers. What I didn't know is that 1 1/2 months after being here my mother would have to take care of me.

I have always been a healthy, adrenaline junkie that LOVED stress, workaholic to I can't make plans with anyone because I don't know from day to day how I am going to feel. At first, my symptoms was MAJOR chronic fatigue and then things progressed. Long story short as I do not want to bore anyone, they are pretty sure it's Lupus. I have seen some good Dr's here and some BAD ones. I actually had one to tell me that it was Fibro/Chronic Fatigue because he just didn't know what else it could be.

I have , in the past, tested positive for Lupus but had other things going on at the time and dismissed the findings. This time I can't. Because of emotional stress, I found myself with a week long stay in the hospital 2 weeks ago. I am TRYING to adjust myself with this new life and think of it as some kind of blessing. So far I am not liking it too much

Does anyone else on the site have Lupus?

And btw...I am loving reading everyone's stories

[Plato]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Are you saying I am the meanie poo poo?
Damn skippy I am. I can always count on you to make me feel like I am a good Mommy. Even when I'm not because I want to murder little people.

It's not that you're mean, it's more that you speak their hidden "language". Yano the emotional undertones. I hear the words and deciper those instead of the 'feelings' that are driving them. Admittedly, my listening skills have greatly improved these last 4 years.
THANK YOU for that!

p.s. Thanks for helping me wash the skunk smell off the Dark Horse this morning.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Plato

It's not that you're mean, it's more that you speak their hidden "language". Yano the emotional undertones. I hear the words and deciper those instead of the 'feelings' that are driving them. Admittedly, my listening skills have greatly improved these last 4 years.
THANK YOU for that!

p.s. Thanks for helping me wash the skunk smell off the Dark Horse this morning.

I can't smell the skunk,, but it feels dirty still. Gross. Gross. Gross.