The Mythical *Pass* for Differently-Abled People

[SuperFemme]

Thanks Jen.

I think this conversation has been a great learning experience.

I know that *I* am learning a lot about how people with DA's and without approach this space.

I know that we are a great bunch of people, and it seems to me that the over all consensus is that we as humans want to be fair to everyone.

I think we have a patchwork "buddy system" already in place. By that I mean that those of us who interact with and are friends with each other keep an eye on each other. We look out for each other and let each other know when something we post might be "iffy".

If we keep doing that and all have an open mind, then we are all going to be in good shape I think.

I know that I always want to know when what I post and what is being heard is so disproportionate that my intent has been completely lost.

Not in a finger wagging way, but in a kind compassionate way.

That is something we should ALL do for each other, not just the DA'd people.

I know that we have amazing moderators here, who really work hard to be fair and equitable when dealing with people on a very personal and individual level.

We all have the obligation to each other to ensure that our community is safe. For everyone.

I do hope that anybody that needs help with any kind of DA issue will keep in mind that this site is dedicated to making it as inclusive for Differently abled members as it is to every other cross section of our community.

I am always available for assistance, questions or issues should anyone need help.

I know that The Planet goes out of it's way to be fair, even more so with our DA population. Please keep in mind that most of us are not privy to what goes on behind the scenes.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Thanks Jen.

I think this conversation has been a great learning experience.

I know that *I* am learning a lot about how people with DA's and without approach this space.

I know that we are a great bunch of people, and it seems to me that the over all consensus is that we as humans want to be fair to everyone.

I think we have a patchwork "buddy system" already in place. By that I mean that those of us who interact with and are friends with each other keep an eye on each other. We look out for each other and let each other know when something we post might be "iffy".

If we keep doing that and all have an open mind, then we are all going to be in good shape I think.

I know that I always want to know when what I post and what is being heard is so disproportionate that my intent has been completely lost.

Not in a finger wagging way, but in a kind compassionate way.

That is something we should ALL do for each other, not just the DA'd people.

I know that we have amazing moderators here, who really work hard to be fair and equitable when dealing with people on a very personal and individual level.

We all have the obligation to each other to ensure that our community is safe. For everyone.

I do hope that anybody that needs help with any kind of DA issue will keep in mind that this site is dedicated to making it as inclusive for Differently abled members as it is to every other cross section of our community.

I am always available for assistance, questions or issues should anyone need help.

I know that The Planet goes out of it's way to be fair, even more so with our DA population. Please keep in mind that most of us are not privy to what goes on behind the scenes.

Thank You, the Mods and Owners for all you do! This is indeed a wonderful website.

I sincerely do not know what the answer is for those who can't take no for an answer, I wish I did. I think we do give passes for reasons of compassion and humanity and I am glad for that, but understand that at some point, tough decisions have to be made and it is heartening to see that these decisions are not made lightly.

I have learned so much here too, from all angles, and bottom line, no one should have to be afraid here.

You know, I haver never been a believer in the report button, it felt like telling on people or being Big Brotherish, but this thread has taught me that when we see something starting to go wrong through miscommunication, reporting is the right thing to do. Maybe then escalated angry situations can be avoided.

Thank you all for the thread and your interaction.

[Apocalipstic]

Also, I want to apologize to anyone who felt like I was taking jabs at them, that was not my intent.

Snow, you should never have to feel afraid on BFP and when the TOS are violated, action does need to be taken. I hope you know if you ever need to call on me for help I am here. I can't kick ass like I used to, but I can help in other ways.

Mods, so sorry that I took your excellent writing skills for possibly being form letters.

SuperFemme, so sorry for making you think that I don't think you are capable of doing your job and for not thanking you often enough.

Report button, my apologies for not understanding how you can be used for good.

June, so sorry you had to come in here and semi moderate us.

Violaine.


xoxoxoxxo

Jen

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Thanks Jen.

I think this conversation has been a great learning experience.

I know that *I* am learning a lot about how people with DA's and without approach this space.

I know that we are a great bunch of people, and it seems to me that the over all consensus is that we as humans want to be fair to everyone.

I think we have a patchwork "buddy system" already in place. By that I mean that those of us who interact with and are friends with each other keep an eye on each other. We look out for each other and let each other know when something we post might be "iffy".

If we keep doing that and all have an open mind, then we are all going to be in good shape I think.

I know that I always want to know when what I post and what is being heard is so disproportionate that my intent has been completely lost.

Not in a finger wagging way, but in a kind compassionate way.

That is something we should ALL do for each other, not just the DA'd people.

I know that we have amazing moderators here, who really work hard to be fair and equitable when dealing with people on a very personal and individual level.

We all have the obligation to each other to ensure that our community is safe. For everyone.

I do hope that anybody that needs help with any kind of DA issue will keep in mind that this site is dedicated to making it as inclusive for Differently abled members as it is to every other cross section of our community.

I am always available for assistance, questions or issues should anyone need help.

I know that The Planet goes out of it's way to be fair, even more so with our DA population. Please keep in mind that most of us are not privy to what goes on behind the scenes.

I so agree with your last statement. Even though, I know it is hard sometimes- we are quite a group of members- very diverse! And we each have our points of passion!

Something I have felt about the Planet since joining is that it does have a higher level of understanding and fairness for DA members. There is a sensitivity around this that I do see and feel. Sure, I have been taken to task and reprimanded, but, I do think this is a space in which fairness is practiced via the admin and mods. I don't recall (but it could have happened) seeing as much attention (and trying to understand) on the old site about communication in relationship to being DA. And DA in many different ways.

I have read quite a few posts by admin stating they are looking into things that they have been asked about in terms of the TOS. And they make changes accordingly if they find a need to. I'm sure that mods are involved in these processes, which is a positive thing.

This thread has been hard, but, also really helpful to me. I hope it is one that gets bumped from time to time with new information getting posted. I know that for me, dealing with chronic pain and mobility issues can lead to my just being impatient. If I have to take heavy duty pain meds for a period of time, I know I see the world differently. It is always good for me to be aware of this.

[violaine]

[QUOTE=SuperFemme;153533]
Violane, I've never seen you in the role of a victim. Ever. I hear what you are saying about somebody being nasty and saying they are good friends with certain people and wishing you "luck". That is outright shitty behavior, and not tolerated here.

it happened already, and i'm not talking about the dash site, SuperFemme.

I think it's important to separate what happened at the dash site with the set up here. Because the two things are light years apart.

I also want to put out there that is anybody with a different ability is having an issue (be it with the mods or other members) that you can pm me. As the DA Ambassador here it is my job to make sure that the DA members are treated fairly. If anyone feels like that is NOT happening, please contact me and I can act as a mediator if necessary, or point you in the right direction.

with all due respect, SuperFemme- i cannot see that happening!

thank you for the offer - but part of what i was trying to communicate in this thread, and from what i've personally seen/experienced, makes it nearly comical to me, on one hand, and the very last thing i'd conceive of doing- contacting you for help.

i'm not writing this to read abrasively to you. there is absolutely no negative 'tone' attached. it is not good - it is not bad, it 'just is'. i'm not an island, and do appreciate sound help when i need it, and am far from being afraid to ask for it- but i would prefer that questions not even need to go through several other people or avenues.

just treated fairly- as everyone else on initial try.

best,
belle

[SuperFemme]

[quote=violaine;153667]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Violane, I've never seen you in the role of a victim. Ever. I hear what you are saying about somebody being nasty and saying they are good friends with certain people and wishing you "luck". That is outright shitty behavior, and not tolerated here.

it happened already, and i'm not talking about the dash site, SuperFemme.

I think it's important to separate what happened at the dash site with the set up here. Because the two things are light years apart.

I also want to put out there that is anybody with a different ability is having an issue (be it with the mods or other members) that you can pm me. As the DA Ambassador here it is my job to make sure that the DA members are treated fairly. If anyone feels like that is NOT happening, please contact me and I can act as a mediator if necessary, or point you in the right direction.

with all due respect, SuperFemme- i cannot see that happening!

thank you for the offer - but part of what i was trying to communicate in this thread, and from what i've personally seen/experienced, makes it nearly comical to me, on one hand, and the very last thing i'd conceive of doing- contacting you for help.

i'm not writing this to read abrasively to you. there is absolutely no negative 'tone' attached. it is not good - it is not bad, it 'just is'. i'm not an island, and do appreciate sound help when i need it, and am far from being afraid to ask for it- but i would prefer that questions not even need to go through several other people or avenues.

just treated fairly- as everyone else on initial try.

best,
belle

Violane,

I'm not offended in the least. I am but one tool available. I do hope that you go to the mods with anyone harassing you.

Nobody here deserves to be harassed in any medium, and I am sure that the help is there to address that if you choose to seek it.

[adorable]

[quote=violaine;153529]

Originally Posted by popcorninthesofa

I've seen some folks that are usually sweethearts here, get timed out because they had a beef about another member, groups of members, or a topic. I think that special care should be given to these members via a private message in an understanding way, along with a warning, rather than a moderator only giving a warning once or twice in the forum.

some people are given private messages for reported posts/other issues via a PM 'warning'. i'm not sure how 'understanding' the message can be read, because i think, they might be kind of a form letter/general-type reminder. i've received a couple of them over the years, [whether or not i agreed with the 'warnings' i chose to not 'dispute' the issued warnings] because i have observed interactions over the years, and learned some interesting and valuable differences between NT-AT processing, and how it presents online in certain areas.

with regard to warning letters issued, 'fairness' for the NT-AT 'set up' - i.e., the big picture, can be rather complex! in my case, sure, the warning was right/true- in part! it takes two for me to even get to that point, and yes, i take responsibility for my own 'actions'. i know that i am not as savvy in some areas, nor do i have any interest in setting someone up to 'get caught' or 'fail'. the report button has only been hit by me once elsewhere.

so, whenever i hear things from offending person- claims: to be good friends with certain people, wishing me luck with any of my own 'reporting', and on and on- this is the kind of complicated arena that someone like me, on the spectrum, cannot NAVIGATE. by the time it comes for this AT to try and compose a thought out letter to any [and which??] moderator, situation is so layered/twisted and i am so worn out, that the only thing clear, and what very well may have been seen clearly- was indeed my fuck up, because i wrote very straightforwardly, in my way, to offending person.

a friend of mine said the only people who would understand what i'm trying to convey would be those who are on the spectrum. is this true? if so, then the majority sees me right now claiming 'victim' role? that is simply not my truth. opportunities to see a depth can get blown away when many other pieces/parts contributing to larger issues are there, but "if" people only remain in the black and white, or listen to people online who listen to other people online, and maintain 'oh, she's just playing a Victim again' how does this help for future issues involving NT-AT interactions and very different processing? i could imagine the people who are moderators turning grey overnight from handling such issues!

I am not sure why but I don't have a ton of trouble understanding people who have Aspergers in general and I never have trouble reading you. I am not sure if it's because I know certain people have it so I read them differently because of it.

I hope that you and anyone else that has this could answer a some questions that I have been wondering since I read your post.

I wondered if online forums are more difficult for you personally to navigate more then face to face interactions?

And this may seem to be a dumb question, I know more about autism itself, but are there degrees of Aspergers like there is with autism? And since I am asking questions...is it in posting that you have the most trouble? I'm not sure if I worded that right. What I mean is do you tend to read your posts and think you are being clear, even when people may be saying that you are not being clear?

Do you ever find that people repeat themselves to you? But that you feel like you are clear on what they mean? Yet, they are not clear that you are understanding what they mean? That may have just confused ME. I hope that makes sense, I know what I'm trying to say I just may not have the right words.

Are there ways of communicating that help you? I know that my boifriend has dyslexia and that if I keep my sentences shorter and not bunch them together in a paragraph it makes it easier for hym to read. Is there a way to write to make anything easier if you have Aspergers?

I'm just wondering, thank you for posting!

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by adorable

I wondered if online forums are more difficult for you personally to navigate more then face to face interactions?

I actually find online forums much easier to negotiate as an Aspie. I think that this medium can often be well suited to people on the spectrum, because in many ways it levels the playing field. In physical interactions, I can have trouble with body language, reading facial expression, tone of voice and intent (it depends on the day as well). These things are absent from the online world, so aren't there to confuse me. In some ways the absence of these markers does make it more difficult (as it does for most of us, and I do glean some information from these things), but in other ways it makes it much easier.

And this may seem to be a dumb question, I know more about autism itself, but are there degrees of Aspergers like there is with autism? And since I am asking questions...is it in posting that you have the most trouble? I'm not sure if I worded that right. What I mean is do you tend to read your posts and think you are being clear, even when people may be saying that you are not being clear?

Sure there are degrees - it's all part of the autistic spectrum. Some will say that there is actually no difference between Asperger's and high functioning autism. (Others will argue that there are marked differences between the two) I don't really have much of an opinion either way, I think it's a matter of semantics.

Posting, for me, is actually much easier than verbal communication, because I can take my time, re-read things (both my stuff and the other person's), and don't get as confused (hopefully). I also have an auditory processing problem which makes processing verbal communication problematic, particularly if there is background noise. As for clarity, I think I come across best in text, definitely. But there is such huge variation between people on the spectrum, I can only speak about my own experience as an Aspie.

Do you ever find that people repeat themselves to you? But that you feel like you are clear on what they mean? Yet, they are not clear that you are understanding what they mean? That may have just confused ME. I hope that makes sense, I know what I'm trying to say I just may not have the right words.

Lol...yes, very occasionally. However, I've learned to mask a lot of my Aspieness so that most people are surprised to learn that I'm on the spectrum. I just come across as slightly quirky and "artistic", apparently. Oh, and sometimes standoffish - if feeling out of my element, which is often.

So to answer your question (because I don't think I really addressed it properly), it's more likely that people will carry on oblivious that I have NOT caught all of something, because I don't want to keep asking them to repeat themselves, and explain my differences all the time. I kinda feel like pointing out that I have these "differences" is asking for a pass... and I don't mean it that way, but that's how it's so often interpreted... so I avoid it.

edit: My reason would be more as a way of explaining *why* I'm not following the conversation, rather than asking for a pass, so that they don't interpret me as stupid or disinterested.

I really hate being interpreted as stupid, because I'm not - I'm in the 99.9th percentile on a couple of scales. It's just that honestly, you would never, ever know it. ESPECIALLY if you met me in real life. And on the flip side, my social intelligence can be pretty low on a few points. As I said before, it really depends on whether I'm having a good day or a bad day.

Hope that makes sense

[Soft*Silver]

Ijust want to throw my two cents in...

I have been a member of three BF sites to date.

This is the only site where I think the moderators are fair and consistent. On other sites, as someone said, you were basically blindsided by the decisions made. Here, there is a gentleness to the process. It actually diffuses the momentum when a moderator steps in and says "hey, lets calm it down"

I know all too well that I am easy to escalate. It comes from having PTSD. No need to go into why I have it but I do. So, I appreciate it when a neutral person can calmly intervene. It was not like this on the other two sites.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by softness

Ijust want to throw my two cents in...

I have been a member of three BF sites to date.

This is the only site where I think the moderators are fair and consistent. On other sites, as someone said, you were basically blindsided by the decisions made. Here, there is a gentleness to the process. It actually diffuses the momentum when a moderator steps in and says "hey, lets calm it down"

I know all too well that I am easy to escalate. It comes from having PTSD. No need to go into why I have it but I do. So, I appreciate it when a neutral person can calmly intervene. It was not like this on the other two sites.

Yup.. I can see this with just awareness here about just about any form of DA. I hadn't thought too much about being someone with PTSD that led to agoraphobia and the posting on a website. I mainly have difficulty with this in real-time (startle response, mostly when confronted with anything that similar to my initial trauma trigger). It has been a long time since I recovered from the agoraphobia, but can still have certain situations come up in real-time that strike at past ways of dealing with anxiety and wanting to retreat to what is familiar and safe.! Especially when something happens that is like the early life trauma that happened. Yikes, all those years ago!!

I am thinking more about what you are saying here to gain some insight in terms of possible reactions stemming from posts on the site (for me). We do cover a lot of heavy stuff here and I know at times, my history does get kicked into focus when interacting on threads. Does for everyone.

I have always been so good at compartmentalizing to just survive and do what I need to do to make a living, be a parent, be a partner in the past, deal with the end of life for a partner, take care of a mentally disabled sibling and an aging parent. I can put up a field of coping mechanisms so that I can just do what just has to get done. I do this with chronic pain, too. And although, I really have been a recovering agoraphobic for a long time now, not wanting to slip backwards does come up. Hell, life is pretty stressful sometimes and we all have stuff we deal with.

Thanks, this post gives me pause. And that is a good thing as I know I can get upset around certain issues and begin to feel vulnerable. That is when I can really put on a mask that I bet seems impenetrable. Having to be the therapist and care-taker for so long was a way to remain guarded even when doing work (therapy for myself) around all of this.

Hummm… and one usually develops agoraphobia as a means to stay safe, stay in familiar surroundings. Stay clear of anything that can bring on shear panic or what happened in the first place to traumatize someone. it’s a way able to avoid the initial trauma and anything that is similar. So, guess it makes a lot of sense to feel this way.

This really is a great thread!! Lots of smart peeps!

[Soft*Silver]

I relate to what you said here. I know I can put on a mask too when I am feeling vulnerable, but I bet my mask is harsher than yours. Mine is a sullen, angry, snarling mask. I wasnt the caretaker. I was the scapegoat and so now when I am being blamed for things I didnt do or mean, I do what I did as a child, fight back for survival. My sister was the caretaker..and she wanted peace at any cost, so now she has ulcers. My brother was the Invisible Boy, always staying out of the way so he would never be the target. Problem was, it also meant he never felt loved or cared for. He committed suicide.

sometimes people dont realize what they are doing to others on this site. And nor should they. They arent therapists. But I love the saying someone had as their sig line..."be kind to everyone for they all deal with some kind of harship" (or something like that). I know I have been called on the carpet more than once for not giving people notice about some posts that were horrific to traumazied folks. I try to be much more sensitive about that now. After working in my field for so long, and after the aftermath of my brother's suicide, I have developed a rather calloused skin over things that would make most people gag. And, while I own I can be insensitive about this unknowingly, those who unknowingly trigger my PTSD should also know. But I usually dont tell it. Thats the mask> You have hurt me but I wont let you see the hurt because I firmly believe you will use it to hurt me more. I just wont allow that kind of vulnerability.

Good insight, ALH....


AtLastHome wrote:Thanks, this post gives me pause. And that is a good thing as I know I can get upset around certain issues and begin to feel vulnerable. That is when I can really put on a mask that I bet seems impenetrable. Having to be the therapist and care-taker for so long was a way to remain guarded even when doing work (therapy for myself) around all of this

[Ursy]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

i want to reiterate AGAIN that giving a pass is not about erasing empathy and compassion. people don't seem to be getting that message....

a "pass" is a different set of rules for DA people and a complete lack of personal responsibility.

Oh yeah, I meant to say something about this because it keeps getting buried in other concepts (which are also really important, but what you said above is specifically what this thread is about).

I totally agree - I know I said in my first post that I give everybody passes, DA or not, but having thought about it - under that definition, they aren't passes.

While we seem to be talking all around the subject, but not specifically addressing it, I actually think that most of us are in agreement that being differently abled should not entitle anyone to a pass - i.e. being DA shouldn't absolve them from taking responsibility for their own behaviour (but only according to each person's capacity).

I think the crux of the issue is that there is a whole bunch of societal baggage that informs people what an appropriate response to DA ought to be.

A lot of it is well meaning, but in the end there is a huge grey area between giving a person compassion and understanding because of X, and not holding a person accountable because of X, and where A will see one, B sees the other.. . and it's not always clear-cut who is right.

I believe that this is where the conversation is falling down.

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by urs

Oh yeah, I meant to say something about this because it keeps getting buried in other concepts (which are also really important, but what you said above is specifically what this thread is about).

I totally agree - I know I said in my first post that I give everybody passes, DA or not, but having thought about it - under that definition, they aren't passes.

While we seem to be talking all around the subject, but not specifically addressing it, I actually think that most of us are in agreement that being differently abled should not entitle anyone to a pass - i.e. being DA shouldn't absolve them from taking responsibility for their own behaviour (but only according to each person's capacity).

I think the crux of the issue is that there is a whole bunch of societal baggage that informs people what an appropriate response to DA ought to be.

A lot of it is well meaning, but in the end there is a huge grey area between giving a person compassion and understanding because of X, and not holding a person accountable because of X, and where A will see one, B sees the other.. . and it's not always clear-cut who is right.

I believe that this is where the conversation is falling down.

Thank you so much for this post. You completely understand what I wanted this thread to be about, and while it has been important to look at all views I worry that the intent has gotten lost.

So I am glad to see that it has not.

I in no way meant to imply that the level of empathy, compassion, and understanding that we treat others with should fall by the wayside. I am in no way saying that the moderators and admins do not give individual consideration on a case by case basis. That means that when there is any kind of issue involving a DA'd person they are going to go above and beyond to be aware of the issues specific to that DA'd person.

I think we all have personal attachments to this, and the lenses we are viewing it through are multiple.

I not only get that, I totally respect it.

I also want people to be aware that The Planet is committed to this community being accessible to differently abled people. That commitment includes going an extra mile (or ten) when dealing with issues that might come up. It means that behind the scenes, there are usually several attempts at solutions until the right one fits.

I understand that it this is a new and different thing within an online b/f community, and I would hope that people are able to have faith in what The Planet is all about, and have faith that doors aren't going to be slammed in your face here because you are differently abled and have a unique way of communicating.

I'd also like to stress that if you contact myself or the mods/admins and need help that it is confidential (outside of the aforementioned). If you are differently abled but choose to be private about it to the community at large, please know that if you choose to share that (say you need assistance or whatever) your information will always remain private.

[Leigh]

I want to thank everyone who has posted here so far, your insight and thoughts have really resonated with Me. I have been on disability for two years now (going on three), for both depression and panic/anxiety attacks. I am the first to admit that I used to expect passes to be given to Me, whether it was for something I said or something I did it was just what I expected. I would often blame being lazy, missing school/work etc on My depression and it just got to the point where if I did or said anything wrong My usual response was that is was My depression acting up.

Even within the last few months I admit that I still looked for people around Me to automatically hand Me a pass, simply because I had gotten used to it. I'm not proud of this, by any means, and am trying My hardest to change because there is no reason to get this so-called "pass". I'm a grown person with no excuse to sail through life expecting that its not only going to be easy, but that I can use being depressed as a cover-up for not taking responsibility for My own actions. Sometimes it takes a thread like this to make a person think about what they are doing in their own lives, and that is what it has done for Me.

I take reading this thread as being that proverbial *kick in the ASS* to get Me to see that things in My life need to change. So thank you to SF and everyone else who contributes to this thread, it takes brave people like all of you to bring such a sensitive subject to the table and share experiences that may not be happy ones but they are beneficial to the discussion ~ keep up the great work everyone

[Soft*Silver]

God, I love watching evolution of the soul !!! You go, Braedon!!!

[violaine]

[QUOTE=urs;154186]Oh yeah, I meant to say something about this because it keeps getting buried in other concepts (which are also really important, but what you said above is specifically what this thread is about).

i, too, think other concepts are very important - and sometimes, how i am able to get 'round' to the heart of a matter. in person, it might take me a while to get there, even if some kind of answer is already in my head. this may or may not be amusing to people, and doesn't happen each and every time- but i do/can process at length.

I totally agree - I know I said in my first post that I give everybody passes, DA or not, but having thought about it - under that definition, they aren't passes.

While we seem to be talking all around the subject, but not specifically addressing it, I actually think that most of us are in agreement that being differently abled should not entitle anyone to a pass - i.e. being DA shouldn't absolve them from taking responsibility for their own behaviour (but only according to each person's capacity).

for me, issues surrounding the thread 'subject' are just what may provide tangibility- what has happened/what i already know, i can address from actual experiences. a pass for DA individual, like myself, not taking responsibility doesn't go far communication-wise [for me] because i will accept responsibility sans pass, and in order for me to discuss anyone else DA neglecting to accept responsibility, i have to try to come up with who/what/when/where i've come across that situation.

note: processing usually works out the way i have described, until i read more and something else may click about 'intent'. subtext comes easier for some people on the spectrum, and being literal most times does not apply to every aspergian.

adorable, thank you for asking questions about AS. i love forums/research/the net because i do prefer a quiet environment. i love to read, and like ursy wrote, with a computer, i control the environment. no background commotion save NPR or pig chatter [smile].

i get so thrown, i'll admit- about things foreign to my own wiring, that i see here/there, and a lot of it has to do with how quickly people seem to 'read' each other with high emotion/tones - or an agenda- i rarely see 'tones' or agendas, but the outcomes of such conversation.

also, i am not sure that i view this thread as 'falling down' - but that's because i don't mind a less travelled path, and savour the 'getting there' as much as any ah-ha moments. i get an opportunity to see more ways of processing.

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by softness

God, I love watching evolution of the soul !!! You go, Braedon!!!

(((((((((((((Softness))))))))))))) You've always been a personal cheerleader of Mine and knowing that I have your support means the world to Me, so thank you

I wanted to personally thank those who repped Me with such positive comments for My above post, I know it takes alot of guts for many of us to admit things that we never would have before. Reading this thread really gave Me the push to see that while I may be differently-abled for some reason, My life is much more than My disability. I'm more than depression, I'm more than anxiety ~ I'm a person, a human being with feelings just like everyone else. I dream, I want, I live, I laugh, I love, I hurt, I cry etc ~ I'm no different than anyone else, and if someone treats Me less than good because they have their own stigma's about disabilities (be they mental or physical etc) then I don't need them in their lives.

To those of us who are brave enough to face each day with a smile, and for those of you who love us regardless, I admire every one of you

[SuperFemme]

Originally Posted by Braedon

(((((((((((((Softness))))))))))))) You've always been a personal cheerleader of Mine and knowing that I have your support means the world to Me, so thank you

I wanted to personally thank those who repped Me with such positive comments for My above post, I know it takes alot of guts for many of us to admit things that we never would have before. Reading this thread really gave Me the push to see that while I may be differently-abled for some reason, My life is much more than My disability. I'm more than depression, I'm more than anxiety ~ I'm a person, a human being with feelings just like everyone else. I dream, I want, I live, I laugh, I love, I hurt, I cry etc ~ I'm no different than anyone else, and if someone treats Me less than good because they have their own stigma's about disabilities (be they mental or physical etc) then I don't need them in their lives.

To those of us who are brave enough to face each day with a smile, and for those of you who love us regardless, I admire every one of you

Braedon, your posts in this thread are nothing short of amazing. How special of you to share your ah-ha moment.

It is SO hard to put such personal things out there on the web for all to see, and when I chose to do so in regards to my different abilities it was in the hope that I could build bridges to others like me. So the fact that you just got brave and shared these pieces of yourself makes it all worth it.

I love what you said about being more than your disability. You're right, the sum of all your parts is so much deeper than that one piece of your puzzle.

I admire you back, times 100.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

Braedon, your posts in this thread are nothing short of amazing. How special of you to share your ah-ha moment.

It is SO hard to put such personal things out there on the web for all to see, and when I chose to do so in regards to my different abilities it was in the hope that I could build bridges to others like me. So the fact that you just got brave and shared these pieces of yourself makes it all worth it.

I love what you said about being more than your disability. You're right, the sum of all your parts is so much deeper than that one piece of your puzzle.

I admire you back, times 100.

YES... YES...YES... a zillion YESSES!!!

[Rockinonahigh]

The biggest part of my disablity is my back injury,the rest is my near total deffness with speach probs.Hear lately my back had had more bad days than good..not so much pain but numbness down to the toes that can hit at near anytime.Mostly I get a bit of warning but tonight I went out with friends to the casino,I havent been for ages and really needed a bit of fun,after about an hour I got thes timgling that went to numbness pretty quick so I made excuses and went home..I nearly didnt make it to the car cause the more I walked the worse it got.I dont know what to do anymore and its getting me down.I am seeing an nuro but he wants me to have some pre surgery rehab,we havent desided what kind of surgery its going to bebut what ever im so tired of fighting this.