The New Poopie List....

[TexasCowboi]

*** just a friendly lil warning that this may be offensive to some... if you are offended by POOP ... then you probably want to leave this thread now..*** When I'm having a bad week I read this because it makes Me laugh when I need to laugh..so please, if you are offended by this, dont read it...

This is not the only thing I find humorous.... like I said, I'm was havin a bad week...

for all others who might find this as humorous as I did, enjoy...

The Poopie List......

1. Ghost Poopie - The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there's no poopie in the toilet.

2. Clean Poopie - The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there's nothing on the toilet paper.

3. Wet Poopie - The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.

4. Second Wave Poopie - This happens when you are done poopie-ing and you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and realize that you have to poopie some more.

5. Pop-a-vein-in-your-forehead Poopie - The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

6. Lincoln Log Poopie - The kind of poopie that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

7. Gassy Poopie - It's so noisy that everyone within earshot is giggling.

8. Drinker Poopie - The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

9. Corn Poopie - Self-explanatory.

10. Gee-I-wish-I-could-poopie Poopie - The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

11. Spinal Tap Poopie - That's where it hurst so badly coming out you'd swear it was leaving you sideways.

12. Wet Cheeks Poopie - (the power dump) The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

13. Liquid Poopie - The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

14. Mexican Food Poopie - It smells so bad your nose burns.

15. Upper Class Poopie - The kind of poopie that doesn't smell.

16. The Surprise Poopie - You're not even at the toilet because you're sure you are about to fart, but oops!...a poopie!

17. The Dangling Poopie - The poopie refuses to drop into the toilet even thgou you know your doing poopie-ing it. you just pray a shake or two will cut it loose.

18. The richard simmons poopie =the Poopie where you pooped soo much you swear you lost 30 pounds!

19. Whiplash Poopie =The kind where you push and strain untill your eyes are bloodshot.The poopie starts to come out and then it goes back in..

20. Pebble Poopie =This is the poopie that feels like a log coming out and looks like a rabbit pellet. It is kin to the Energizer Poopie... where the pellets keep on comin..never seem to stop....

21. Draft Beer Poopie = Where you can poopie through a screen and not hit a wire! This one is kin to #14, it kinda burns your nose too (added by a femme)

[TexasCowboi]

The Crowd Pleaser Poopie
This poopie is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

The Mood Enhancer Poopie
This poopie occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

The Ritual Poopie
This poopie occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

The Guinness Book Of Records Poopie
A poopie so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

The Aftershock Poopie
This poopie has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.

The "Honeymoon's Over" Poopie
This is any poopie created in the presence of another person.

The Groaner Poopie
A poopie so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.

The Floater Poopie
Characterized by its float ability, this poopie has been known to resurface after many flushing's.

The Ranger Poopie
A poopie which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion,
but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

The Phantom Poopie
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.

The Peek-A-Boo Poopie
Now you see it, now you don't. This poopie is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control.

The Bombshell Poopie
A poopie that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to poopie
(i.e. during lovemaking or a root canal) or you are nowhere near pooping facilities.

The Snake Charmer Poopie
A long skinny poop which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.

The Olympic Poopie
This poop occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered
and bears a close resemblance to the Drinker's Poop.

The Back-To-Nature Poopie
This poop may be of any variety but is always deposited either in the woods or while hiding behind the passenger side of your car.

The Pebbles-From-Heaven Poopie
An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't poop.

Premeditated Poopie
Laxative induced. Doesn't count.

Shitzophrenia Poopie
Fear of pooping - can be fatal!

Energizer Vs. Duracell Poopie
Also known as a "Still Going" poop

The Power Dump Poopie
The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.

The Liquid Plumber Poopie
This kind of poop is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor.
(You should have followed the advice from the Lincoln Log Poop.)

The Spinal Tap Poopie
The kind of poop that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.

The "I Think I'm Giving Birth Through My Asshole" Poopie
Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap Poops. The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can.
Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.

The Porridge Poopie
The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming.
You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

The "I'm Going To Chew My Food Better" Poopie
When the bag of Doritos you ate last night lacerates the insides of your rectum on the way out in the morning.

The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Poopie
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Poopie
Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump". Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor.
Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air. Kin to #14 Poopie

The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Poopie
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place. Similar to #17 Poopie

[TexasCowboi]

(all of these were given to me by a femme as well..... so this is not just a butch thing.... k?)


Interrupted Poopie: You are in mid-poop when the phone rings. Abort it, go to the phone, and save the rest for later.

Mona Lisa Poopie: It's so pretty and perfectly formed, with delicate intricacies that it makes you wanna cry.

Porta-Pottie Poopie: May it be a brand new porta-pottie or you are in for a nasty experience.

Security Poopie: The kind where you have a lockless door and have to keep your foot on the door and hum loudly to let people know not to interupt.

Childbirth Poopie: Trying to push a watermelon-sized poopie through a pea-sized hole.

Houdini Poopie: It disappears. You know you pooped, but it's nowhere to be found. Was it all a dream?

[TexasCowboi]

54. The bratty Femme Poopie - Now you see it, now you don't, Nyaaa Nyaaa! This poopie is playing games with you, just as some brats do. Requires patience and muscle control, (neither of which a Bratty Femme wants to use). and when said Bratty Femme actually poops this Poopie herself, she will have a smirk on her face because of the smell it leaves, knowing that she will inevitably blame the man or the butch of the house for the smell. A distant version of #19

(this was given to me by a bratty femme..... and no, this was not meant to be misogynistic)

[TexasCowboi]

The Dance Poopie - not the smile of relief, but the little wiggle you do when you, "omg I'm so happy I did a poopie I could dance" poopie....

(added by a femme)

[lusciouskiwi]

[TexasCowboi]

LOVE IT!!!!

[NJFemmie]

[NJFemmie]

[cinnamongrrl]

I wasn't wearing my glasses and I had to give this a second look. Yep. It says poopie....lol

[Duchess]

Splatter-all-over-the-place-poopie

[Soft*Silver]

OMG!!!! You are talking about this in public?????????????????????????

[Duchess]

Hi Lady T. Yes, we are having a candid and hilarious discussion about poop in it's various stages.

[Parker]

So I have this friend, James - in the recent past, he was so intrigued with his own poop that he would post pics of it every day on his LiveJournal - if he couldnt or forgot to post a pic, he would tell us all about his BM, including where it fell on the Bristol Scale. lol

It was maddening to open up my LJ every day and see this dude's poop in a huge photo on the middle of my screen; but I think the thing that grossed me out the most about it was knowing that after he pooped but before wiping, he would stand up and turn around so he could take a pic of it .....

I dont know why I am sharing this - I guess this thread just reminded me of him and I will probably post all of these on his FB just for the hell of it.