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Old 07-06-2011, 11:58 PM   #1
blush
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I am femme.

This past week, I chopped my hair off super short. I needed to look at myself differently. I needed to not equate femme, with, well, femme. It’s easy to slap some high heels on and do my nails, and call it done. But this year has been hard, and I’ve relied on compliments and worn-down thought patterns to tell me what MY femme-ness is.

Haven’t we all been there? Those moments or days or months or years when carving ourselves out of mashed potatoes just isn’t happening? When you realize you can’t back it up? The heels are there, the hair is there, the nails are there…and it all just makes you tired.
So I chopped off my hair to fuck with my femme-ness, to see if it was as easy as wearing high heels or curling my hair. It’s not, but we all knew that.

And I’ve come up with my truths:

I am femme because I say so.

I am femme because it describes my strength, not my weakness.

I am femme and a burlap sack couldn’t hide it, and encyclopedias couldn’t describe it.
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Old 07-07-2011, 05:01 PM   #2
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Default

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Originally Posted by blush View Post
I am femme.


I am femme because it describes my strength, not my weakness.


YES! GOD, YES!

That is perhaps the most brilliant thing I have read in a good long while!
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:39 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by blush View Post
I am femme.

...But this year has been hard, and I’ve relied on compliments and worn-down thought patterns to tell me what MY femme-ness is.
Wow... love this! (love the whole thread). This year has been hard and I've also relied on compliments and worn-down thought patterns to tell me what MY femme-ness is.

But along the way I've learned a thing or two about the kind of Femme I really am.

I am a NYCFemme who had to learn to mow the Seattle lawn while crying my eyes out. That darned grass refused to stop growing just because I was alone.

I am a NYCFemme who had to learn to fix the furnace because the kids needed heat and there was nobody else to do it.

I am a NYCFemme who had to take out the trash, clean out the gutters, catch and release those scary wolf spiders, and change a tire.

I am a NYCFemme who had to learn to leave the arts - my passion - to enter the 'real world' to pay the bills on my own, buy a car to get me to work, make Seattle friends (still working on this one) and know that I am enough on my own.

2800 miles and life changing loss showed me that FEMME means I have the gift of being strong enough to overcome any obstacle!

Could I have done all this if I wasn't Femme? Sure... but it certainly wouldn't have been as lovely.

Last edited by SuddenlyWestFemme; 01-13-2012 at 11:42 PM. Reason: typos
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Old 07-07-2011, 06:42 AM   #4
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I am a femme with many facets.

I am a scientist femme who looks conservative during the 9 to 5.
I am a shot girl femme who could sell anything to anyone with my cleavage.
I am the femme your mother warned you about, surrounded by a shroud of sex, mystery, desire and danger.
I am stubborn, opinionated, willful, effervescent, hilarious, warm and generous, and EVERYTHING can be turned into an innuendo.
I am a musician who cannot live without the undercurrent of music as a running constant in her life.
I am the girl who can go from tailored pants, flats, no makeup and a ponytail to 8" heels, fishnets, miniskirt and pinup hair in no time flat.
I am a femme who can get lost in the museum of natural history and be blissfully happy, who wouldn't be hard pressed to spend hours in museums, planetariums, or on educational trips.


I am secretly a die hard romantic who wants to be swept off her feet and cared for, but will fight you to the death if you ever imply that I cannot take care of myself.

I'm independent and intimidating, but so worth it.
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Old 07-07-2011, 02:35 PM   #5
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Default I am femme

1. I am a study in contradictions

2. Heart, soul, appearance & sexual identity are femme

3. I am warm, loving, nurturing, kind, sensitive & insightful

4. I am also inpatient at times and do not easily suffer fools

5. I am a recovering perfectionist & frequently fall off the wagon

6. I accept the human frailties of others much more easily than accepting my own

7. I need to be in control so much in my professional life, I crave being
able to give it up in other areas of my life

7. On the other hand, the thought of giving up control also scares me (even though "control" is really illusionary)

8. I become tearful at Hallmark commercials & laugh at silly jokes

9. I have many regrets about choices I have made in my life but work hard to accept that I did the best that I could under the circumstances

10. I dearly loved my dog Baby & miss her terribly. She was my first dog & I never knew that one could love an animal this much

11. I love looking feminine but must admit wearing<<disallowed word>>dresses or high heels really is not me

12. A former BF once said I was a cast-iron marshmallow (tough on the outside, soft on the inside)

13. I love to be fucked but have also been known to throw a good one myself if the stars and moon are in alignment & my partner so desires

14. The Daddy dynamic interests me greatly but also scares me (see number 7 above)

15. Writing all these makes me feel vulnerable & I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.<<disallowed word>>

Honest? Too honest? That's also me at times.

I am femme.
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Old 01-30-2011, 11:45 AM   #6
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Talking RawR!!!

I am fucking LUCKY

*rawr*


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Old 01-30-2011, 05:07 PM   #7
proximitywithoutintimacy
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Default

Eep, I can't edit my original post! Haha. I'm going to re-post my little self description thingy, hopefully that's okay, and I promise this one will be finished

I'm a rocker lesbian, which means I wear band t-shirts, go to shows, and have mass amounts of black eyeliner in my bathroom.

On the other hand, I'm the girl who adores the way I look in a button down dress shirt and slacks. Sometimes I tease my hair, add tons of hairspray, and glam myself up with smoky eyes and lace - other times I wear my hair messy, skip the makeup, and leave the house in pajamas and a hoodie

I wear lip gloss and perfume, but I'm in no way high-maintenance. I'm very clean and always have perfect hygiene - girls have actually complimented me on the way I smell, haha.

I have a big heart that gets me into trouble, I've been hurt more times than I ever thought possible, and I love fiercely.

I'm sweet and romantic, and I believe in true love - the kind that steals your breath and stops your heart.

I'm honest, sometimes too honest, and I have a kindness that makes me vulnerable to pain and suffering.

My closest friends mean the world to me, and I'm impressed that they can handle the fact that I'm sensitive, a bit controlling, and overanalyse to the point of insanity, haha.

I'm terrified of heights, and loud noises make me jump. Yelling triggers my anxiety.

I'm a spelling, grammar, and punctuation nazi... especially in school - which brings me to the fact that I'm in my second year of college, and have immersed myself into the Social Work Program. I want to work with kids.

I'm accident-prone, and can be a complete spaz sometimes; though people keep telling me how cute it is.

I write, mostly poetry, and I bake often (just recently, white chocolate chip cookies with homemade brown sugar).

I'm a flirtatious geek who tries to see the good in everyone, and if you want to get on my good side, bring me lemon meringue pies, banana moonpies, and/or taco bell.

I have a weakness for girls who have short hair, piercings/tattoos, wear tight pants and dress shirts, and can cook well

I make mistakes, and I say things without thinking. I'm flawed and beautifully broken
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Old 01-30-2011, 10:01 PM   #8
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Default What Kind of Femme am I?

I'm a jeans and t-shirt wearing femme who also likes a nice pair of slacks and a sweater.

I'm a no-nonsense femme that likes to have fun. What does that mean? Don't bullshit me; respect is a two-way street. Once respect is established, fun naturally follows.

I'm a very sexual person and I love to show affection publicly.

I'm a femme that rides a Big Dog Motorcycle.

I'm a tattooed femme (10 in 7 spots), all covered unless I'm in shorts.

I'm a femme that usually wears eye makeup and lip gloss; it makes me feel pretty, oh so pretty, and witty, and gay! LOL

I also wear pear scented lotions from Victoria's Secret

I'm a caretaker femme that has a hard time remembering that in order to take care of others, I have to take care of myself first.

I'm an independent femme that loves to get my hands dirty fixing things. I can troubleshoot, read flow charts and I think power tools are awesome!

Call me corny, but I believe in true love, first kisses that take your breath away, and unquestionable loyalty between two lovers.

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Old 04-09-2011, 01:22 PM   #9
LaneyDoll
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I am a femme.

I am a temptation...

Temptation lies in the nearest shoe store. I wear heels everyday and have had the same pair of tennis shoes for years. They are pink and black, naturally, and they look brand new. I don't own sensible shoes and my rock-hard calves show my devotion to my shoes. It is almost as strong as my craving for the written word...

The written word is my passion. I am a would be writer of prose, and poetry. I devour books and read anything I can get my hands on-except music...

Music is the soundtrack to my life and songs take me back in time like few things can-except scent...

Scent is the sense most powerfully tied to memory. My sense of smell is highly developed and it is almost as powerful as my sense of touch...

Touch my heart and I will always have a fondness for you, even years after we part ways, and regardless of if or how you wrong me...

Wrong me and I will cry and rage and be a pitiful little kitten. But, when I let you go, you are gone and you are gone forever...

Forever is my dream. I dream of falling in love and getting married and finally sharing my life with someone who loves me for me...

Someone who loves me for me. My kids love me for me. My friends love me for me. But the only people who really KNOW me are my lifestyle friends. If you know me as Elaine then you probably don't know me. If you KNOW me, you know me as LaneyDoll...

LaneyDoll is BDSM brat bottom whose fave play partner is her wicked hot, best friend. LaneyDoll is the femme girl who has a major weakness for butches as lovers and thinks that femmes make amazing friends...

Friends are the best. They accept me as I am. That I love scary movies but cannot watch them alone (or sleep alone that night) because my imagination runs wild with me. That I love bubble baths, and cool showers. That my fave color is purple but my fave color combo is pink/black. That I have my kids initials tattooed onto my ankle and a butterfly carved into my back, on my shoulder. That I am me and I am not changing for anyone but I do strive to continue to grow and learn. That I had a hard childhood but understand that a lot of us didd. That I really tried to be a proper Southern lady but tired of living in a shell that did not fit me. That I am who I am and that...

I am a femme.
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Old 04-09-2011, 06:50 PM   #10
Gemme
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LaneyDoll View Post
I am a femme.

I am a temptation...

Temptation lies in the nearest shoe store. I wear heels everyday and have had the same pair of tennis shoes for years. They are pink and black, naturally, and they look brand new. I don't own sensible shoes and my rock-hard calves show my devotion to my shoes. It is almost as strong as my craving for the written word...

The written word is my passion. I am a would be writer of prose, and poetry. I devour books and read anything I can get my hands on-except music...

Music is the soundtrack to my life and songs take me back in time like few things can-except scent...

Scent is the sense most powerfully tied to memory. My sense of smell is highly developed and it is almost as powerful as my sense of touch...

Touch my heart and I will always have a fondness for you, even years after we part ways, and regardless of if or how you wrong me...

Wrong me and I will cry and rage and be a pitiful little kitten. But, when I let you go, you are gone and you are gone forever...

Forever is my dream. I dream of falling in love and getting married and finally sharing my life with someone who loves me for me...

Someone who loves me for me. My kids love me for me. My friends love me for me. But the only people who really KNOW me are my lifestyle friends. If you know me as Elaine then you probably don't know me. If you KNOW me, you know me as LaneyDoll...

LaneyDoll is BDSM brat bottom whose fave play partner is her wicked hot, best friend. LaneyDoll is the femme girl who has a major weakness for butches as lovers and thinks that femmes make amazing friends...

Friends are the best. They accept me as I am. That I love scary movies but cannot watch them alone (or sleep alone that night) because my imagination runs wild with me. That I love bubble baths, and cool showers. That my fave color is purple but my fave color combo is pink/black. That I have my kids initials tattooed onto my ankle and a butterfly carved into my back, on my shoulder. That I am me and I am not changing for anyone but I do strive to continue to grow and learn. That I had a hard childhood but understand that a lot of us didd. That I really tried to be a proper Southern lady but tired of living in a shell that did not fit me. That I am who I am and that...

I am a femme.
Welcome, again, and I'd suggest you keep your eyes open for the 9Words Poetry thread if you like the written word. Nine separate words are posted and the thread participants create poems using the list of words, or derivatives of the words (singing to sing, etc). The different ways people use the same words is very interesting.
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Old 04-09-2011, 08:56 PM   #11
LaneyDoll
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Originally Posted by Gemme View Post
Welcome, again, and I'd suggest you keep your eyes open for the 9Words Poetry thread if you like the written word. Nine separate words are posted and the thread participants create poems using the list of words, or derivatives of the words (singing to sing, etc). The different ways people use the same words is very interesting.
Thanks!!! I will do that right now
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Old 04-09-2011, 09:05 PM   #12
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Thanks!!! I will do that right now
I bumped it up so it should be easy to find.
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Old 04-09-2011, 10:23 PM   #13
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Default

I am emotion and elements. I love fully, I give freely, I think broadly, I share honestly, I live openly.
I am a gentle rain on a quiet afternoon, I am the sunshine in the midst of a tornado, I am the tornado itself...my energy whirling about. I am the wind, blowing your hair, a gentle caress. I am the thunder when those I love (including myself) are hurt by you. I am the ocean, beating the shore, and each wave you ride with me will bring new beauty to the earth...if only for a passing second. I am the silence in the middle of the night.

When you are wrapped in me, you are safe and loved, but free.

I am safety and security, love and laughter. I am fun times and free smiles. I am a good friend, a great listener, and an amazing wordsmith when inspiration strikes. I am a Muse, and I have many Muses of my own. I am a painter, a creator, a photographer, a student, a teacher.

I am sex and sexuality. I am a writer of erotica. I am lacy bras and matching panties. I am thigh high panty hose and garter belts. I am raw sex. I am fast pulses, shallow breaths, low moans and moistness. I am cleavage and bedroom eyes. I am long, natural red fingernails leaving trails along your back. I am roses & champagne and I am leather & lace. I am soft, gentle touches and I am bites & claw marks. I am sweet kisses and I am throw me against the wall and fuck me hard.

I am comfortable in a dress and high heels or blue jeans and a t-shirt. I am fancy lingerie or sweat pants and a tank top. I am make-up and intricate hair styles or a hair-clip and not a touch of anything on my face except a smile. I am complicatedly simple. I am the illusion of high-maintenance, and the reality of simplicity. I am fulfilled by nature and Mother Earth.

I am an animal rescuer and lover. I am screaming because of a spider, but I am also able to kill the spider myself. (Most of the time!) I am "Let's take it outside and set it free" as long as it isn't going to bite me on the way there. (at that point, I'm kill or be killed!)

I am music. I am rhythm. Music lives in me and I live through music. I am soul dances and slow dances. I am body swaying, connecting. I am Pink and Melissa Etheridge blowing the speakers, and I am Norah Jones singing a peaceful melody. I am oldies, classic rock, pop, country, hard rock, and love songs. I am singing off-tune and loving every minute of it!

I am living, breathing, existing in and of nature. The ocean fills me and fulfills me. My soul takes flight and I am happy.

I am a healer and an Empath. I am healing. I am strong. I am vulnerable. I am a slow Tuesday morning, and a hectic Friday night.

I am an organizer who sometimes can't seem to get a running start. I am logic embattling emotion.

I am the first one there when a cry goes out, the last one to leave when the dust has settled.

I won't just come to the party, I'll help you cook & clean for it, and stay after to clean up.

I am mother, nurturer, lover, giver, child, sister, friend. I am sweet and innocent, and I am anything but innocent.

I am Sagittarius. I am fire. I am passion. I am lust. I am love.

I am brave in the face of danger, and I am scared of the dark.

I am an optimist and I choose to see the good in people and the world around me. My dark places are very dark. I am playful and always ready to try something new.

I am seductive and I like to be seduced.

I am warm cookies fresh out of the oven and I am a cold glass of iced tea on a summer's day.

I am effort and I am Lazy Sunday afternoons.

I am butterflies in the middle of a field covered with snow. I am a burst of light in the darkness. I am color in the midst of a black and white photo.

I am perfect imperfections. I am worth the time it takes to get to see my soul. I am confident and I am insecure. I am outgoing and I am shy. I am a world of apparent contradictions, that all feed each other perfectly.
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Old 04-11-2011, 09:55 AM   #14
Quintease
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I'm not sure what my sort of femme is.

When I first came out I called myself femme as I wanted the right to have long hair, wear dresses and still call myself a lesbian. My look was drag, all bright lipstick, crazy outfits, 7" platforms and red hair.

As time went on it became more ingrained, I never went out without high heels, makeup, black lace and cleavage. Moving countries changed me again, the high heels dropped, but my underwear became sexier and I picked up the handbag and purse habit.

Now in my 30's and in an ostensibly 'straight' relationship I'm in flats and trousers and barely-there makeup, yet I feel far more femme than I ever did. The drag is gone, now it's all just me.
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Old 11-20-2012, 02:32 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1PlayfulFemme View Post
I am emotion and elements. I love fully, I give freely, I think broadly, I share honestly, I live openly.
I am a gentle rain on a quiet afternoon, I am the sunshine in the midst of a tornado, I am the tornado itself...my energy whirling about. I am the wind, blowing your hair, a gentle caress. I am the thunder when those I love (including myself) are hurt by you. I am the ocean, beating the shore, and each wave you ride with me will bring new beauty to the earth...if only for a passing second. I am the silence in the middle of the night.

When you are wrapped in me, you are safe and loved, but free.

I am safety and security, love and laughter. I am fun times and free smiles. I am a good friend, a great listener, and an amazing wordsmith when inspiration strikes. I am a Muse, and I have many Muses of my own. I am a painter, a creator, a photographer, a student, a teacher.

I am sex and sexuality. I am a writer of erotica. I am lacy bras and matching panties. I am thigh high panty hose and garter belts. I am raw sex. I am fast pulses, shallow breaths, low moans and moistness. I am cleavage and bedroom eyes. I am long, natural red fingernails leaving trails along your back. I am roses & champagne and I am leather & lace. I am soft, gentle touches and I am bites & claw marks. I am sweet kisses and I am throw me against the wall and fuck me hard.

I am comfortable in a dress and high heels or blue jeans and a t-shirt. I am fancy lingerie or sweat pants and a tank top. I am make-up and intricate hair styles or a hair-clip and not a touch of anything on my face except a smile. I am complicatedly simple. I am the illusion of high-maintenance, and the reality of simplicity. I am fulfilled by nature and Mother Earth.

I am an animal rescuer and lover. I am screaming because of a spider, but I am also able to kill the spider myself. (Most of the time!) I am "Let's take it outside and set it free" as long as it isn't going to bite me on the way there. (at that point, I'm kill or be killed!)

I am music. I am rhythm. Music lives in me and I live through music. I am soul dances and slow dances. I am body swaying, connecting. I am Pink and Melissa Etheridge blowing the speakers, and I am Norah Jones singing a peaceful melody. I am oldies, classic rock, pop, country, hard rock, and love songs. I am singing off-tune and loving every minute of it!

I am living, breathing, existing in and of nature. The ocean fills me and fulfills me. My soul takes flight and I am happy.

I am a healer and an Empath. I am healing. I am strong. I am vulnerable. I am a slow Tuesday morning, and a hectic Friday night.

I am an organizer who sometimes can't seem to get a running start. I am logic embattling emotion.

I am the first one there when a cry goes out, the last one to leave when the dust has settled.

I won't just come to the party, I'll help you cook & clean for it, and stay after to clean up.

I am mother, nurturer, lover, giver, child, sister, friend. I am sweet and innocent, and I am anything but innocent.

I am Sagittarius. I am fire. I am passion. I am lust. I am love.

I am brave in the face of danger, and I am scared of the dark.

I am an optimist and I choose to see the good in people and the world around me. My dark places are very dark. I am playful and always ready to try something new.

I am seductive and I like to be seduced.

I am warm cookies fresh out of the oven and I am a cold glass of iced tea on a summer's day.

I am effort and I am Lazy Sunday afternoons.

I am butterflies in the middle of a field covered with snow. I am a burst of light in the darkness. I am color in the midst of a black and white photo.

I am perfect imperfections. I am worth the time it takes to get to see my soul. I am confident and I am insecure. I am outgoing and I am shy. I am a world of apparent contradictions, that all feed each other perfectly.
Re-posting this as a reminder to myself
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Old 07-27-2011, 03:59 PM   #16
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Hello Everyone

This an amazing thread! So wonderful hearing about all you wonderful women.

I have always found it difficult to describe myself. Some of the things you've said I can relate too. I'll have a go myself once I can get pen in hand and space in my head to think about who I am :-)

Thank you ladies

Flower
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Old 07-27-2011, 04:08 PM   #17
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Tiger femme out in the world but a purring kitten in Daddi's arms...

Fierce fishing femme who does it all herself down to gutting and cooking..

Photo taking femme who believes that everyone has a photo worthy moment in their day.

A vulnerable babygirl who loves to be treated as such, at times, other times I prefer her calloused hands tightly around my throat as she grunts in my ear.

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Old 08-04-2011, 09:16 PM   #18
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I love this thread and all of the powerful words I've read here. It's one that's made me think, "Who am I?" And I love it when my brain is asked to think. ...
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Old 08-28-2011, 10:09 PM   #19
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Love, love, love this thread..it's so amazing to read about each and every one of you. For myself..I have so many hats I wear..I am the femme that raised to responsible, socially functioning, loving adult children on my own working 2 and 3 jobs at a time to support them with no help from anyone...I'm a gramma of 2 of the most gorgeous babygirls in the world..I'm as strong as steel when I need to be..but as soft as satin when I am allowed to be..I'm the fierce lioness that will rip the throat out of anyone who fucks with my pride..and share thier carcass with said pride..I am the family matriarch..the rock that they lean on and come to any time any day..I'm there..by family I don't just by blood but also my chosen family..I can remodel a home from the wiring and plumbing up..I can do automotive repairs..I'm a tattooed, amazon bbw that is my childrens hero (thier words not mine)..I am the product of what would be if Martha Stewart and Paula Dean had a love child.I can prepare a 8 course eligant dinner party for 20 or cook your favorite meal and not a break a sweat...I make any house a home...I am mother, grandmother,nuruterer, survivor and in your face fighter..I've been beaten, raped and thrown away but will never give up.Almost a college graduate (first in my family)..I will always stand up for the underdog and defend the weak...I am the hot lover that will fuck you til your teeth sweat.and suck your c*ck til your forehead caves in..lady in the streets/whore in the sheets..and also the fragile girl who needs soft love making..and curled up in your arms all night..I am scared to death of storms and will sob while they are wreaking havoc..I grew up fishing, hunting, camping, riding dirtbikes and quads..I can go from denim to lace and be just as comfortable in either role..I am the femme that craves to be "Daddi's babygirl"..but not just for any ol Daddi. I want THE Daddi made just for me. I'm independant and strong..I believe in unicorns and fairies and yes I even believe in unconditional love. And above all..I am femme because it's what is in my heart and soul with every fiber of my being and I am worthy of that title.
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Old 09-06-2011, 01:41 PM   #20
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Smile

I am a girly girl and love most things that make me feel pretty. Dresses, jewelry, long hair but only some makeup. I am average girl, short and average weight. I don’t worry much about gaining or losing weight. I do exercise at least four times a week and prefer to do outside things like the track instead of going to a fitness center.

I am someone who always has my cell phone with me and will text back almost right away day and night.

I enjoy talking and believe it or not even though I am a talker I am also a good listener. I may not answer the question right away but will think about it and then answer it. I am someone who is very busy with work, volunteering and kids but somehow feel alone a lot. Most consider me a little hmmn nutty but a lot of fun. I am drawn to people who may seem very different than most but I seem to understand them.

When I love I do with my whole heart. When I am upset I tend to see the worst cinereo and run from things to stop from getting hurt. I love music and new things to do. I have no problem just packing a bag and taking off for a day or even a weekend with maybe no idea where we are going.
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