How do you nurture yourself? - Page 2

Gemme · 09-04-2010, 10:27 AM

I think I confuse self-indulgence with self-nurturing as well.

I emotionally overeat. Not particularly nurturing in the big picture, obviously, as it feeds other issues other than indulging myself.

But if you take food out of the picture, some of the ways I nurture myself are:

*having 'me' time and being able to articulate that I need personal time and to set healthy boundaries concerning that time

*listening to music (this can be part of my me time but not necessarily)

*enjoying a good (usually naughty) book

*watching a good, funny movie

*working out

*taking a walk in the sunshine

*using super fantastic smelling and feeling soaps, gels and lotions

*sleeping

*being domestic (in small amounts, preferably before I get ticked off at doing so much work)

*shopping (even just window shopping or browsing online)

*girls' nights/days and true friendship in general

*allowing someone to love me and show me that love in their own way, be it friend or lover

Soft*Silver · 09-04-2010, 10:28 AM

excellant points of distinction between indulgence and nurturing. I indulged. I overcompensated for not being loved as a child and also, not knowing how to, in my attempts, I would go hog wild. My addiction to alcohol started out as an attempt to nurture. It was indulgence and then a crutch and then a need and then an addiction.

I have lived in pendulum swings. None or too much. In my 50s I am learning to moderate and find a balance and to know that too much is too much and too little isnt enough. And, that it all comes from me...not outside myself...first and foremost. Because I wasnt loved as a child, (or I should say, as much as a child should be loved, for I know my parents DID love me, just didnt express it) I grew up eager to find it outside of myself..to fill that void left in me. What a fiasco that has been.

No matter where I go, there I am. Void and all. No one can fill it but me. And the way it gets filled is thru nurturance, no indulgence.

good one, Arwen...

MrSunshine · 09-04-2010, 10:33 AM

Every night, even if just out of the shower, I wash my feet by hand. I dig that.

Jesse · 10-25-2010, 10:48 AM

Do we have anymore self nurturers out there?

katsarecool · 10-25-2010, 10:52 AM

I practice breathing, deeply not from the chest but the center..

Glenn · 10-25-2010, 10:53 AM

Pray
Read the spiritual Masters
play my piano or flute
Jump in the car
Jump in the whirlpool
workout
plan a better budget
think about my goals and dreams etc.
talk with folks who will be there for me just in case..

Boots13 · 09-04-2010, 10:24 AM

1. Do you nurture yourself? If so, what are the ways you do so?
I do at home. I need to figure out how to do that at work.
My favorite is a trail run or walk. This grounds me and I come right back to center when I can smell the dirt and cedar, be in nature and work up a good sweat.
Another very important way I nurture myself is to be financially responsible. I pay myself first...no matter how small or minuscule , I make a deposit into my savings every payday..
And the stress of being late for appointments or obligations is crushing, so I make sure I'm punctual.
I think nurturing is about mitigating stress. It as much taking care of the physical as it is taking care of the spiritual self.

2. Do you rely on your partner/family/friends to nurture you?
No, not directly. I count on the people in my life to understand that I need this time to be centered or focused or punctual. And I love that they do understand!

3. Do you feel that you adequately learned how to nurture your self when you were growing up?
Hah! Nurturing in my house was unheard of! I learned as an adult, that to be healthy I had to create a healthy space, do healthy things and be in the today...deliberate choices and right mind living.

4. Do you feel any sort of discomfort about nurturing yourself?
Not at all. But its not fluffy stuff, which tends to leave me feeling bored. I'm not a bubble bather...give me dirt and sweat !

5. Do you think that this whole self nurturing thing is just new age stuff and not even something worth talking about?
Nope, not new agey stuff. Its a necessary component of living a healthy, centered life.

Girl_On_Fire · 04-17-2013, 10:50 PM

1. Do you nurture yourself? If so, what are the ways you do so?

Oh, yes. In every way possible. I don't even know how to describe how I do it. It's just second-nature to me.

2. Do you rely on your partner/family/friends to nurture you?

I wouldn't even know how.

3. Do you feel that you adequately learned how to nurture your self when you were growing up?

I had no choice.

4. Do you feel any sort of discomfort about nurturing yourself?

None.

5. Do you think that this whole self nurturing thing is just new age stuff and not even something worth talking about?

I think it's absolutely essential to health and well-being. Wanting to be close to others and share experiences, stories, and lives makes sense but depending on others, unless the situation is emergent, is, in my opinion, a recipe for an unhappy and unfulfilled life.

FlowerFem · 11-17-2010, 06:39 PM

I love to read. My favorite thing is to curl up on a Friday night and read a good book on the sofa. Maybe nod off and sleep all night right there. Treating myself to nice meals. Getting my hair and nails done, always makes me feel prettier.

Gemme · 11-17-2010, 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesse

Happy Hump Day!

Today I signed up for weekly Tai Chi classes. Ah! Something I have to do all on my own without the Bear there for comfort. Now all I need is someone to remind me to go on Tuesdays!

Peace

Go on Tuesdays!

Ba dum BUM!

Jesse · 11-17-2010, 09:41 PM

I know you did not just call me a dum bum!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemme

Go on Tuesdays!

Ba dum BUM!

Gemme · 11-17-2010, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesse

I know you did not just call me a dum bum!

Random · 11-17-2010, 10:29 PM

Moving to a yard with a house on it...

I have fruit trees and rose bushes and chinees pumpkins and russian sage and lot of things that I don't know what they are but will let me get my hands dirty and lots of space to walk and swing and dream...

Oh.. the yard has a house that has a basement that has two perfect spaces for dedicated art spaces and one more random art space and a separate room for storage so I don't get clay or paint on anything...

Gráinne · 12-29-2010, 08:22 PM

1. Do you nurture yourself? If so, what are the ways you do so?

Not very well. It is one way I need to change in the new year. Right now, I'm cold and uncomfortable and I'm listening to old Al Green music, enjoying my dinner of a chicken breast and veggies. That to me is nurturing, but I don't do it very often. I still have that niggling feeling that I should be doing something.

2. Do you rely on your partner/family/friends to nurture you?

No, in fact the opposite. I don't tell people when I'm feeling poorly or ask them for anything. I'm very uncomfortable with "personal attention" in that way-including intimate times. I'm a giver, never a taker.

3. Do you feel that you adequately learned how to nurture your self when you were growing up?

Oh, no, lol. My parents were the "fix your own problems and don't bother others" type. I never saw either of them cry or seem needy. My mother did enjoy playing golf, so maybe that was her nurturing.

4. Do you feel any sort of discomfort about nurturing yourself?

Definitely, as I explained in #2. I always feel I'm "wasting" time when I should be more productive-especially if the entire day has gone that way.

5. Do you think that this whole self nurturing thing is just new age stuff and not even something worth talking about?

I find myself thinking that, and then realize that nurturing brings me peace and feelings of being loved, when I do it. So it's not hogwash at all. I need to convince myself that it's crucial for me, though.

01-07-2011, 10:30 PM

[COLOR="DarkRed"]today i nurtured myself by not pushing myself. i did what was necessary, and no more. i allowed myself to take a nap in a warm bed...by myself.
soon, i will be living in a place that is as stress-free as possible. where i can concentrate upon taking care of myself and no-one else. where i can get back on the road to my meditative path. where i can practice tai-chi (great move, Jesse!) and qi qong without interruption. where i can eat wholesome foods as unprocesses as possible. where i can learn to laugh and be warm again. where being me is a good and interesting process.
thank Creen Tara for answering prayers! thank Chenrezig for being compassionate towards me! [thank the Medicine Buddha for the first steps towards being whole again!
thank a good friend for caring[ /COLOR]
pres

Gemme · 01-08-2011, 08:16 PM

I make everyone go the Hell away.

LeftWriteFemme · 01-08-2011, 08:23 PM

I had a really rough afternoon, so I gave the dog and I a spa treatment, trimmed nails, shaved our legs and I dyed my hair. I can't make the world spin kinder, but I have learned to be kinder to me.

Jesse · 01-29-2011, 05:00 PM

We are well into the first month of the new year and fast approaching February and I found myself sitting here thinking about all of the changes I have made recently for the better.

The big news in my world is that I am no longer a smoker! I never thought I would be able to utter those words, in fact I never even tried to quit, because I just knew I couldn't do it. Well, I was wrong. The day came on January 5th, 2011 that I said,"I'm done smoking now." I put them down and have not looked back. I can already sense my health improving in the physical sense, what I had not counted on was the emotional improvement that came from not smoking. I feel really good for the first time in a long time.

This year, I am doing things for me that I have always wanted to do and this was the first big step.

The second thing was I joined a gym and am working out again to get back into shape. I am living my life for me, not for anyone else and I am happy!

What are you doing for you this year?

Tuff Stuff · 07-22-2015, 10:52 PM

I do plenty now days to nurture myself,get away from 'ALL OF IT'.I slept too much today but I really needed it.Last weekend was a gathering of lost souls.."snort".You know the kind.It's a place where we try to run away from all of it by camping,swimming,drinking,smoking,listening to one another.I will also fish and shoot guns and take long walks through the forest and listen to silence.My heart is good so i'm not afraid to be alone with myself while out in the woods.I also try to get 1 hour of excercise every morning to get the old heart pumpimg,keeps you strong and limber.I also love writing,typing,taking pictures.I'm also a sex maniac,but lets not go there

09-04-2010, 10:27 AM	#1
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,925 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	I think I confuse self-indulgence with self-nurturing as well. I emotionally overeat. Not particularly nurturing in the big picture, obviously, as it feeds other issues other than indulging myself. But if you take food out of the picture, some of the ways I nurture myself are: having 'me' time and being able to articulate that I need personal time and to set healthy boundaries concerning that time listening to music (this can be part of my me time but not necessarily) enjoying a good (usually naughty) book watching a good, funny movie working out taking a walk in the sunshine using super fantastic smelling and feeling soaps, gels and lotions sleeping being domestic (in small amounts, preferably before I get ticked off at doing so much work) shopping (even just window shopping or browsing online) girls' nights/days and true friendship in general allowing someone to love me and show me that love in their own way, be it friend or lover __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

10-25-2010, 10:48 AM	#4
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	Do we have anymore self nurturers out there? __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

10-25-2010, 10:52 AM	#5
katsarecool Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Woman Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Between Athens and Atlanta, Georgia Posts: 1,236 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,849 Thanked 1,765 Times in 734 Posts Rep Power: 323367	I practice breathing, deeply not from the chest but the center.. __________________

10-25-2010, 10:53 AM	#6
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old thing Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,602 Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	Pray Read the spiritual Masters play my piano or flute Jump in the car Jump in the whirlpool workout plan a better budget think about my goals and dreams etc. talk with folks who will be there for me just in case.. __________________ 1 Kings 19:12

04-17-2013, 10:50 PM	#8
Girl_On_Fire Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her Relationship Status: On Hiatus Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Connecticut Posts: 690 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,020 Thanked 2,684 Times in 562 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	1. Do you nurture yourself? If so, what are the ways you do so? Oh, yes. In every way possible. I don't even know how to describe how I do it. It's just second-nature to me. 2. Do you rely on your partner/family/friends to nurture you? I wouldn't even know how. 3. Do you feel that you adequately learned how to nurture your self when you were growing up? I had no choice. 4. Do you feel any sort of discomfort about nurturing yourself? None. 5. Do you think that this whole self nurturing thing is just new age stuff and not even something worth talking about? I think it's absolutely essential to health and well-being. Wanting to be close to others and share experiences, stories, and lives makes sense but depending on others, unless the situation is emergent, is, in my opinion, a recipe for an unhappy and unfulfilled life. __________________ "Quit trying to reason with unreasonable people. It's like trying to have a meaningful conversation with an end table." ~ Girl_On_Fire

09-04-2010, 10:28 AM	#2
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,592 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,948 Thanked 15,894 Times in 4,062 Posts Rep Power*: 21474857	excellant points of distinction between indulgence and nurturing. I indulged. I overcompensated for not being loved as a child and also, not knowing how to, in my attempts, I would go hog wild. My addiction to alcohol started out as an attempt to nurture. It was indulgence and then a crutch and then a need and then an addiction. I have lived in pendulum swings. None or too much. In my 50s I am learning to moderate and find a balance and to know that too much is too much and too little isnt enough. And, that it all comes from me...not outside myself...first and foremost. Because I wasnt loved as a child, (or I should say, as much as a child should be loved, for I know my parents DID love me, just didnt express it) I grew up eager to find it outside of myself..to fill that void left in me. What a fiasco that has been. No matter where I go, there I am. Void and all. No one can fill it but me. And the way it gets filled is thru nurturance, no indulgence. good one, Arwen... __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

09-04-2010, 10:33 AM	#3
MrSunshine Senior Member How Do You Identify?: The Gardner Preferred Pronoun?: Ummmm Relationship Status: Nah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Sunshine State, State of Sunshine Posts: 2,616 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,577 Thanked 3,891 Times in 1,155 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Every night, even if just out of the shower, I wash my feet by hand. I dig that.

09-04-2010, 10:24 AM	#7
Boots13 Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: PNW Posts: 823 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,387 Thanked 2,313 Times in 428 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	1. Do you nurture yourself? If so, what are the ways you do so? I do at home. I need to figure out how to do that at work. My favorite is a trail run or walk. This grounds me and I come right back to center when I can smell the dirt and cedar, be in nature and work up a good sweat. Another very important way I nurture myself is to be financially responsible. I pay myself first...no matter how small or minuscule , I make a deposit into my savings every payday.. And the stress of being late for appointments or obligations is crushing, so I make sure I'm punctual. I think nurturing is about mitigating stress. It as much taking care of the physical as it is taking care of the spiritual self. 2. Do you rely on your partner/family/friends to nurture you? No, not directly. I count on the people in my life to understand that I need this time to be centered or focused or punctual. And I love that they do understand! 3. Do you feel that you adequately learned how to nurture your self when you were growing up? Hah! Nurturing in my house was unheard of! I learned as an adult, that to be healthy I had to create a healthy space, do healthy things and be in the today...deliberate choices and right mind living. 4. Do you feel any sort of discomfort about nurturing yourself? Not at all. But its not fluffy stuff, which tends to leave me feeling bored. I'm not a bubble bather...give me dirt and sweat ! 5. Do you think that this whole self nurturing thing is just new age stuff and not even something worth talking about? Nope, not new agey stuff. Its a necessary component of living a healthy, centered life.

11-17-2010, 06:39 PM	#9
FlowerFem Member How Do You Identify?: femm Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: dating Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Illinois Posts: 107 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 128 Thanked 163 Times in 51 Posts Rep Power: 286411	nuture I love to read. My favorite thing is to curl up on a Friday night and read a good book on the sofa. Maybe nod off and sleep all night right there. Treating myself to nice meals. Getting my hair and nails done, always makes me feel prettier.

11-17-2010, 10:29 PM	#13
Random Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: back in the land of trees and snow Posts: 2,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,017 Thanked 5,327 Times in 1,378 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Moving to a yard with a house on it... I have fruit trees and rose bushes and chinees pumpkins and russian sage and lot of things that I don't know what they are but will let me get my hands dirty and lots of space to walk and swing and dream... Oh.. the yard has a house that has a basement that has two perfect spaces for dedicated art spaces and one more random art space and a separate room for storage so I don't get clay or paint on anything... __________________ ~Volunteer~ "It gets in your blood"

12-29-2010, 08:22 PM	#14
Gráinne Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Neither, nada, out of the box Preferred Pronoun?: My name always works Relationship Status: Happy whatever happens Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Little Rock Posts: 1,864 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,118 Thanked 7,386 Times in 1,457 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	1. Do you nurture yourself? If so, what are the ways you do so? Not very well. It is one way I need to change in the new year. Right now, I'm cold and uncomfortable and I'm listening to old Al Green music, enjoying my dinner of a chicken breast and veggies. That to me is nurturing, but I don't do it very often. I still have that niggling feeling that I should be doing something. 2. Do you rely on your partner/family/friends to nurture you? No, in fact the opposite. I don't tell people when I'm feeling poorly or ask them for anything. I'm very uncomfortable with "personal attention" in that way-including intimate times. I'm a giver, never a taker. 3. Do you feel that you adequately learned how to nurture your self when you were growing up? Oh, no, lol. My parents were the "fix your own problems and don't bother others" type. I never saw either of them cry or seem needy. My mother did enjoy playing golf, so maybe that was her nurturing. 4. Do you feel any sort of discomfort about nurturing yourself? Definitely, as I explained in #2. I always feel I'm "wasting" time when I should be more productive-especially if the entire day has gone that way. 5. Do you think that this whole self nurturing thing is just new age stuff and not even something worth talking about? I find myself thinking that, and then realize that nurturing brings me peace and feelings of being loved, when I do it. So it's not hogwash at all. I need to convince myself that it's crucial for me, though. __________________ The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck

01-07-2011, 10:30 PM	#15
HoneyedChrysanthemum Guest Tournaments Won: 1 Posts: n/a My Photo Gallery	today...and soon [COLOR="DarkRed"]today i nurtured myself by not pushing myself. i did what was necessary, and no more. i allowed myself to take a nap in a warm bed...by myself. soon, i will be living in a place that is as stress-free as possible. where i can concentrate upon taking care of myself and no-one else. where i can get back on the road to my meditative path. where i can practice tai-chi (great move, Jesse!) and qi qong without interruption. where i can eat wholesome foods as unprocesses as possible. where i can learn to laugh and be warm again. where being me is a good and interesting process. thank Creen Tara for answering prayers! thank Chenrezig for being compassionate towards me! [thank the Medicine Buddha for the first steps towards being whole again! thank a good friend for caring[ /COLOR] pres

01-08-2011, 08:16 PM	#16
Gemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?: She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The roads are narrow here Posts: 36,631 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 182,498 Thanked 107,925 Times in 25,666 Posts Rep Power: 21474887	I make everyone go the Hell away. __________________ Gemme's Journal I'm misunderestimated.

01-08-2011, 08:23 PM	#17
LeftWriteFemme Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Daddy's good girl Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Jersey Posts: 16,642 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,529 Thanked 12,285 Times in 5,184 Posts Rep Power: 21474868	I had a really rough afternoon, so I gave the dog and I a spa treatment, trimmed nails, shaved our legs and I dyed my hair. I can't make the world spin kinder, but I have learned to be kinder to me. __________________ Clicking on these dragon eggs will take you to my new erotic novella: Dragon Bait .........Hope you enjoy it! ________________________________________________ Please take a look at my work Click on flashing smilie to see my website To look at my Daddy/girl erotica book Click on pompom girl to see Elbows on the Table, Palms Flat

01-29-2011, 05:00 PM	#18
Jesse Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Transguy Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: single Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: Central West Coast of Florida Posts: 5,204 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,866 Thanked 17,782 Times in 3,940 Posts Rep Power: 21474857	We are well into the first month of the new year and fast approaching February and I found myself sitting here thinking about all of the changes I have made recently for the better. The big news in my world is that I am no longer a smoker! I never thought I would be able to utter those words, in fact I never even tried to quit, because I just knew I couldn't do it. Well, I was wrong. The day came on January 5th, 2011 that I said,"I'm done smoking now." I put them down and have not looked back. I can already sense my health improving in the physical sense, what I had not counted on was the emotional improvement that came from not smoking. I feel really good for the first time in a long time. This year, I am doing things for me that I have always wanted to do and this was the first big step. The second thing was I joined a gym and am working out again to get back into shape. I am living my life for me, not for anyone else and I am happy! What are you doing for you this year? __________________ “You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that widened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this.”

07-22-2015, 10:52 PM	#19
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	I do plenty now days to nurture myself,get away from 'ALL OF IT'.I slept too much today but I really needed it.Last weekend was a gathering of lost souls.."snort".You know the kind.It's a place where we try to run away from all of it by camping,swimming,drinking,smoking,listening to one another.I will also fish and shoot guns and take long walks through the forest and listen to silence.My heart is good so i'm not afraid to be alone with myself while out in the woods.I also try to get 1 hour of excercise every morning to get the old heart pumpimg,keeps you strong and limber.I also love writing,typing,taking pictures.I'm also a sex maniac,but lets not go there