Couples- how did you meet your partner?

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by Chancie

I saw Pete at a local women-owned café.

She was reading the paper, and drinking a latte, and wearing Dickies.

I thought she was fabulously cute, and I swore that I would talk to her.

I walked up to her and I stammered out a cockamamie reason to give her my email address.

It was years later, or maybe two weeks, and she hadn't emailed me.

One afternoon I was grading papers in the same café and

She came up to me with a teeny tiny cupcake to apologize.

She had washed her pants with my email address in the pocket.

She asked me for my number, and

She called me when she was driving home to Western Mass from her father's wedding in Florida.

My handsome beautiful Pete and I have been dating since December.

❤️

We got married last summer.

[MsTinkerbelly]

Originally Posted by Chancie

❤️

We got married last summer.

Best wishes for a long and happy life together!

[Spirit Dancer]

1-800-big-daddi

[miss entycing]

Originally Posted by Spirit Dancer

1-800-big-daddi

hey, me too!
I opted for the *dial 0 for further assistance*
so I did.... and Hy did.... and we did, again and again.

[Bit]

Originally Posted by femmebotdyke

Did most people meet their partners through butch/femme/FTM social networks (either formal or informal, online or offline) or through some other channel? .......... What initially attracted you to (or conversely, turned you off) your current partner?

Gryph and I met on the Dash site. I had been doing daily ritual for nine months to find the right partner for me; it started out, "I deserve to be loved the way I want to be loved; I deserve to give love the way I want to give it. I deserve to be safe. I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be a wife..." and it went on for as long as I could think of affirmations. I even included "I deserve clean air to breathe and clean water to drink" lol! But it WASN'T working and I was utterly miserable, heartsick and at the end of my rope when I happened to get online one Sunday... only to read the answer to my prayers!

I wasn't sure how things would go at first... I read the first posts and all I could think was "don't let this one get away!!" It wasn't the posts... it was in the name. The posts didn't hurt, though! So we started talking in the thread and pretty quickly in PM, then in IM. We talked all Sunday evening, all Monday evening, and then all day on Tuesday by phone. It was pretty clear to me at that point that my prayers had been answered; Gryph said he's been reading my posts and was already in love with me. We made a commitment to each other that night, and over the next couple weeks I fell in love, too.

I was in Wichita 7 weeks later. The shock of walking into Shrek's Cousin's Cave nearly undid me; I was SO CERTAIN that I had made a huge mistake!!! THAT couldn't have been the answer to my prayers!! It was amazingly hard to look past the filth and see the actual person I loved. I basically forced him to help me clean the mess up, which took us HOURS; and I privately resolved that I would just get back on the bus and go home as soon as the place was clean.

It was less than 24 hours before I changed my mind, though. He went to work the next day, I kept on cleaning, and the extreme joy and relief on his face when he came in the door that night and saw the clean apartment convinced me that it would be okay to stay.

The original plan had been that I would pack up his apartment and then we would come back to Arizona together; he'd drop me off at my mom's place and go on to Camp Verde, then once he got settled we'd move in together. Evidently, the Goddess and the Ancestors said "Why? You've already moved in together," and delayed his tax refund by several months. At that point, it was too late to move; our expenses had gotten too high. So he made arrangements to bring my Ladybug to Wichita and we planned a move for the next tax refund.

Again, even though this one came in on time, there wasn't enough and our expenses were too high.

The third year, we just gave up and bought a house. I guess Wichita has claimed us.

Along the way, I have realized repeatedly that there could never be anyone more ideally suited to me than Gryph is. We did have it rough in the beginning; after we got the cave sorted out, we still had to deal with old baggage over and over again. We both cried a lot that first year, although we've very seldom argued... but the baggage would pop itself loose and there we'd be, hurting beyond belief and desperately trying to figure out why. We healed each other from our past relationships that whole year, and we've continued to grow together since.

Originally Posted by femmebotdyke

For singles and couples- do you think it's possible (or even desirable) to de-centre ''the couple'' as the foundational unit of butch/femme culture or would doing so be kind of...I don't know...destabilizing?

I don't believe the couple IS the foundational unit of butch/femme culture. Maybe I don't quite understand what you mean?

It's been my experience that the foundation of butch/femme culture is the energy exchange (not power exchange, energy) that happens between and among butches and femmes whether they're coupled or not. I have had butch friends who sustained me with that energy exchange when I was single, and vice-versa, so it can happen between friends the same way it happens between lovers (minus the sex, at least on my part, lol). Also, I think femme/femme bonding and butch/butch bonding are intrinsic to and foundational to our culture.

If that isn't what you meant, I'd be glad to hear more. Maybe you're looking at it from a different perspective than mine?

[firie]

We were friends for about three years.

He took me with him to court for our first "date" so he could take care of a traffic ticket. He opened the car door and let me go through security first--such a charmer. I was impressed with his ability to get out of the ticket.

And so I bought him a cookie, because he likes cookies.

I also think he smells nice, most days.

Oh, and he makes me laugh more than anyone else in this world.

[Helena_Handbasket]

There is this existing butch/femme personals site....not the other site that we all know about that also has a dating link...but, a lesser know site that is only a dating site. Sorry I cannot remember the name of it. Anyway, A couple years ago, I'd looked through the TN ads and most of the people didn't appear to be either femme or butch. Yesssss, I know you can't base someone's butchness or femmeness on looks alone, but i just wasn't getting that vibe from most of them or their ads. Then I saw Shirley and sent her a wink. She sent me one back, but neither of us tried to contact each other. I met someone else and started dating her. Flash forward 2 years later and I was single again...BUT I was determined to take a break from dating. About 2 weeks later, I popped on the site again....and saw Shirley again. I sent her a wink and she sent me one back. I wrote her and asked her if she'd had any luck over the past 2 years from that site. She admitted that she hadn't and hadn't been to that site in a long time. I told her I had just broken up and was just looking for friends. After much talking, pming, emailling, etc. over the next week, she asked me to dinner. We've been pretty much inseparable every since.

[Gayla]

She started my birthday thread on the dash site for a bunch of years in a row. Then one year, she didn't and I PM'd to ask why.

I think that was 5 birthdays ago. She hasn't started a bday thread for me since.

[Starbuck]

I remember it like it was yesterday. I walked into her work and I see this gorgeous blond, she had a long braid to the middle of her back and piercing green eyes. My knees almost buckled. I was there with a friend who knew her so I was introduced.

Not long after that I was invited to a party at her house where it was confirmed for me that she was lesbian...that got me to thinking...how to make a move, because I was longing for her. But at this moment I didn't really think she noticed me.

Some time later she and I were with a mutual friend's doctor appointment when my phone rang and she recognized the ring tone as Battlestar Galactica. THAT caught her attention. After the appointment, we caught a ride to our vehicles and she called me a "good looking brunette", I was like, whoa, where did that come from? Some time passed and then she asked me over for dinner. I was so anxious to get close to her, to touch her hand it made my stomach jump. After dinner we were sitting in side by side recliners watching Shrek. I didn't wan't to watch tv and I had to work up the nerve but I finally began to softly stroke her arm while looking at the tv. She asked me, "Do you know what you are doing?" I turned to her and said, "Yes, I do." Her 6 year old daughter was in the room with us so we just lightly held hands that night. To me, fireworks were being set off!

It wasn't until some time later that I got my first kiss from her and that is my first kiss from a woman period. She's my first gf. I'm a late bloomer, coming out at the age of 37, I'm making up for lost time. On my 38th birthday, she gave me the best birthday present anyone has ever given me: she made love to me, being ever so gentle and teaching me that there is a different kind of love that exists other than just wham bam thank ya ma'am (like so many times I've gotten). Now over a year into our relationship and another birthday passing, I'm taking her to Vegas next month for a week to celebrate!

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by Bit

Along the way, I have realized repeatedly that there could never be anyone more ideally suited to me than Gryph is. We did have it rough in the beginning; after we got the cave sorted out, we still had to deal with old baggage over and over again. We both cried a lot that first year, although we've very seldom argued... but the baggage would pop itself loose and there we'd be, hurting beyond belief and desperately trying to figure out why. We healed each other from our past relationships that whole year, and we've continued to grow together since.

I can really relate to that.

I met the bf years ago, even before he started on the path to transition. At the time I barely knew anything about Ftm's, but still he became like a brother to me.

We'd met at a lesbian event where we had mutual friends, but generally we moved in different circles so occasionally we'd meet for a chat, just as friends. I used to flirt with him and we had two cheeky snogs, but that was it. Just friends.

My long term relationship ended and the next person I got involved with was manipulative and abusive. For two whole years the bf barely saw me and the few times he saw me I was generally unhappy or unwell. For himself, he spent those two years physically changing into a whole new person!

One day I rang him out of the blue saying 'Guess wot! I'm single!!' He immediately invited me out to a picnic. I went and nothing had changed, we were still JUST friends. It was a week or two later that we began flirting on the phone and within a couple of hours he'd invited me to dinner. I went, expecting dinner or maybe a one night stand, only never really left again

[girl_dee]

Syr Bebo and myself met on the BF forums long ago, and after a while of goofing off in Second Life, we entered into a D/s relationship, which was strictly platonic for a couple of years. She came to see me...(even in platonic relationships real meetings are imperative for some of us) ..and it was wonderful.. Months later I was needing a place to go to for the winter, so she drove to get me and brought me back here to the farm, only after I got here I /we 3 realized this is where I belonged all along. We also realized that this has been a real love for a long time, which was safely tucked away in our hearts. We are no longer platonic and this is home to me, I will never need a place to go away to again.

I guess anyone that would drive about 5,000 miles for a visit is pretty darn serious about seeing you.

[Daywalker]

Originally Posted by Julie

Dreamer and I had quite the romance. We met on Daywalkers Farm.

There is obviously more to the story - but two years later, we no longer meet on the farm to talk.

Those were the days... Remember?!?

Daywalker is still meandering through Hys Farm/s.


Only Dreamer is not there to pee in the lakes or
steal rabbit from your Farm. You are Mafia people now.


RawR.


We had some of the hardest laughs back then.
Dreamer was a Farm Pusher, ya know.
Mrs Day worked hard too.
Behind the scenes.
Making sure.
U two met.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Daywalker

Daywalker is still meandering through Hys Farm/s.


Only Dreamer is not there to pee in the lakes or
steal rabbit from your Farm. You are Mafia people now.


RawR.


We had some of the hardest laughs back then.
Dreamer was a Farm Pusher, ya know.
Mrs Day worked hard too.
Behind the scenes.
Making sure.
U two met.

It's true... and when she suggested Dreamer to me.
I said - No thank you, Mrs. Daywalker.
I am not interested, Mrs. Daywalker.
Find someone else for Dreamer, Mrs. Daywalker.

The end.

[TickledPink]

We were friends first....

Then:

The hot wings, mountain biking, lanai nights and helping hym study hys homework.

Oh, and The Tree, OUR Tree

[Lynn]

We met on the dash-related dating site six and a half years ago. She messaged me and I thought that I had never seen someone so perfectly good-looking to me, in her wonderful butchness. We chatted and found out that we were both originally from the same area of PA. We decided to talk on the phone and immediately clicked. Met within a week. We dated long-distance for a year, and then she moved to this area and we continued to get to know each other. After another year, we moved in together. Got engaged about a year and a half ago. On October 22nd, we're getting legally married. That is just amazing! We are just enjoying each other and making each other laugh. We couldn't be more excited!

[ladytiger]

We meet when I was in the 7th grade, hy was a sophmore, we had band together. After hy graduated we seen each other a few times, but I was stupid. (it's a long story) 20 years later we ran back into each other and have been together over a year now.

[StrongButch]

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence handed us a safe sex package (lol)