PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Semantics]

I was diagnosed with PTSD in 1994, when I was seventeen years old.

My worst symptoms are hypervigilance, nightmares, insomnia, anxiety, and emotional avoidance.
I also have survivor guilt, although that one is tricky because the person I survived was also the perpetrator of the trauma. Once I got over the initial relief that he could no longer hurt me, the guilt over the fact that I should have somehow prevented his death set in. It's amazing to realize how many different things can be true at one time.

I've spent a lot of time feeling embarrassed about it and I'm done with that now. I've adapted, for the most part, and I have decent coping skills.

I can't date, though. I know I've joked with some of you about why I don't date, but the real reason is I just can't function in a relationship.

Yet. I still have hope for someday I'm just not there yet.

[Rook]

After much thought, I suppose I could contribute here

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

I have been requested to start a thread on Trauma survival and recovery.

I looked up symptoms of PTSD as a place to start.

Symptoms of PTSD can include:

• Hypervigilance and scanning {Check}
• Elevated startle response {check, especially while Im asleep and someone wakes me abruptly}
• Blunted affect, psychic numbing {Check, although this doesnt happen much unless Im very stressed}
• Aggressive, controlling behavior (a high degree of insistence on getting your way) {Checkcheck...i'm really familiar to lame come-backs like 'this aint burger king, u cant always have it your way'}
• Interruption of memory and concentration {Check}
• Depression {Check}
• Generalized anxiety
• Violent eruptions of rage {check}
• Substance abuse
• Intrusive recall -- different from normal memory in that it brings with it stress and anxiety {Definitely check}
• Dissociative experiences, including dissociative flashbacks {Check}
• Insomnia {Check}
• Suicidal ideation {Check}
• Survivor guilt {Check}

Thoughts?

w/o getting into details, I'm in therapy, and medication for a few of my "issues"..
i've already tried anger management group therapy 3 times, i failed horridly but mostly because I simply didnt attend or slept through it [ they have a strange time for it in my area, saturdays/thursdays at 9 am...], the one time i showed "promise" was when i got into a so-called lively debate with a lady who was having a bad week with her kids.I'm young, and she 'transferred' that conflict on my opinion, I wasn't too impressed with the therapy, and most of those there were court-ordered and had to attend for some certification..-shrug-
If I dont take the 3 different sleep aid pills, I can easily go 48 hrs w/o sleep, I would generally stay up and about until my body pretty much collapsed from exhaustion...
I have to continuously be careful with other prescription meds because if something's not in order, I quickly get branded as suicidal, or purposely careless...
I have a so-called swiss cheese memory..And yet sometimes, the most subtle issue, topic or scent can trigger a hellacious flashback
And yes, I have days where I'm in such a state I refuse to do anything, not even budge from my bed..
Thankfully I have people around me that care enough to keep an eye on me during those times.
Oftentimes, whether I like it or not, if the individual is contrary with me, they usually wind up on a permanent shitlist
Im currently trying to convince myself to attend anonymous survivor group...
The rest, I'll skip...for now..

[DELSDAUGHTER]

can this cause anxiety disorder......

[Selenay]

Originally Posted by DELSDAUGHTER

can this cause anxiety disorder......

PTSD is one form of anxiety disorder.

So no, it cannot cause an anxiety disorder, but it can be one itself.

Trauma, however (not sure which you were referring to in your question), can certainly cause any number of anxiety disorders.

[DELSDAUGHTER]

Originally Posted by Selenay

PTSD is one form of anxiety disorder.

So no, it cannot cause an anxiety disorder, but it can be one itself.

Trauma, however (not sure which you were referring to in your question), can certainly cause any number of anxiety disorders.

the reason i ask..is my daughter had a car accident about two years ago,,and since then has developed anxiety attacks.....is there anything someone can do to help a person thru one.....

[Outlaw]

A great book on the psychological consequences of traumatic life events is Trauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman

[Jason]

Thanks for posting this. It caught my attention right away. I know a lot about PTSD...not bragging that is for sure because I wish I didn't know as much as I do. I think it is highly misunderstood and possibly not treated properly. It often leaves the people that suffer with PTSD symptoms feeling isolated and alone because of the lack of understanding....just think of the people returning home from war...vietnam. There are a lot of different ways a person can experience trauma, but the symptoms of PTSD are all the same...the flashbacks and visualizations that occur are just of whatever experiences each individual had that caused the severe trauma.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Jason

Thanks for posting this. It caught my attention right away. I know a lot about PTSD...not bragging that is for sure because I wish I didn't know as much as I do. I think it is highly misunderstood and possibly not treated properly. It often leaves the people that suffer with PTSD symptoms feeling isolated and alone because of the lack of understanding....just think of the people returning home from war...vietnam. There are a lot of different ways a person can experience trauma, but the symptoms of PTSD are all the same...the flashbacks and visualizations that occur are just of whatever experiences each individual had that caused the severe trauma.

And then there are the exaggerated or increased startle responses.... ARGH, never know if I am going to scare innocent people!!! Yes, soft ....

[Princess4u]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

And then there are the exaggerated or increased startle responses.... ARGH, never know if I am going to scare innocent people!!! Yes, soft ....

OMG yes...i used to have friends who thought it was funny to see me jump when the phone rang or someone knocked on the door..or they would pretend to hit me....and watch me jump and raise my arms to defend myself..it was a big game to them...but to me it was normal...it was all i knew. I thought that everyone had that reaction to noises or fast reactions. Then when i was in the psychologists office getting tested for learning disorders...his phone rang and he noticed my reaction...that is when i was diagnosed w PTSD. That was over 20 years ago, and nothing has changed...well except i dont have those same friends anymore...

[Leigh]

Originally Posted by LittleShug

Hi Everyone!

Just thought I'd stop in real quick before I go to bed, and say hello...I have been running around all day, praise God! The pneumonia doesn't know what hit it! lol...It's been downgraded to acute bronchitis but it might as well go on now, cuz I got too many things to do this weekend!

Also, I spent the day running errands with my daughters, reconnected with an old friend, shopped and shopped some more...had dinner with the hunny and the kids...(kids, 23 and 17)...my girlie chihuahua is in heat, my daughter's miniature pinscher is also a girlie and also in heat...(Oh Lord) we have these poor lil girls taking turns humping each other and trying to do something and not really knowing what...lol...I figured I would share this with you all, since well, it's kinda funny haha and funny strange at the same time...and I'm mortified one moment and laughing and screaming the next...lol...just thought I'd get ya to laugh with me...oh my goodness...lol...

That's most of my day...will be back soon....sorry for the derail...

Love and many blessings to all!

Shug

Thanks for the funny moment Shug lol

I remember an ex of Mine from like 6 yrs back had a little dog named Bear, and when he was in heat he would get on top of his rolled up brown blanket and hump he hell out of it lol it was disturbing sometimes but others it as funny as hell

Originally Posted by Ol' Jet

I'm a music collector, I have 80 years of music, Big band, swing and jazz being most of it. Music is everything. And much of the time, has got me through many hours.

With limited funds right now, I'm not able to expand My music collection as much as I would like to but I'm glad there are sites out there like YouTube where I can find old videos and favorite songs from the past

I also have used music to get Me through some of the harder times in My life, and its done wonders for Me ........ thank goodness for music

Originally Posted by Jason

Thanks for posting this. It caught my attention right away. I know a lot about PTSD...not bragging that is for sure because I wish I didn't know as much as I do. I think it is highly misunderstood and possibly not treated properly. It often leaves the people that suffer with PTSD symptoms feeling isolated and alone because of the lack of understanding....just think of the people returning home from war...vietnam. There are a lot of different ways a person can experience trauma, but the symptoms of PTSD are all the same...the flashbacks and visualizations that occur are just of whatever experiences each individual had that caused the severe trauma.

Good post Jason, thanks for including it

[Dragonfly]

Muddy Waters can always bring a happy haze over my brain if the panic attack isn't too severe. It will Block out whatever thoughts are there and bring me back down heart rate and breathing too. I dont really hear the lyrics as words or think of the blues as depressing. It is something beyond that, it's my association with it and how his music is so tied to a Huge positive thing to me personally.

There are other artists and other genres that can do the same thing for me, so it's not just "the blues" making me feel happy in general as is usual. I think music therapy is a miracle all by itself. Finding the songs that work for you is the hardest part. Association was what I think helped me, I associate certain songs with memories or moods. Then Make the mixed cd's and keep them around to try, dont expect it to work every time... just throw it in there with the other things you already do to combat the ptsd symptoms you have.

I just rented yoga dvd's that are for beginners (or "out of shape") to use without doing the complete yoga thing. Relaxation techniques and breathing and stretches that reduce stress depression and related issues. One of them is candlelight yoga, cant wait to try em out. I got them under the guise of "for" my daughter since she is yoga newbie totally and uninterested since birth lol. But I confess I am really excited to participate in yoga structured exercises geared to help with both of our ptsd, not just as an exercise geared for fitness, and doing it together is another bonus. Just passin on the ideas...

[atomiczombie]

Quick update on me:

My Dad started having heart trouble in the beginning of January and was in the hospital for a week. He was short of breath and weak. His heart was in atrial fibrolation (or however it is spelled lol). At that time the cardiologist told him he needed a new aortic valve. He had aortic stenosis, where the valve doesn't open wide enough to let all the blood flow like it should, and he got congestive heart failure as a result.

On Feb 9th he went in to have the open heart surgery. They replaced his valve with a cow valve (moooo). He had some complications after his surgery and was in the ICU for 10 days (bleeding out, tachycardia, etc). He finally was able to go home after 12 days in the hospital. We were told before the surgery that he would be in the hospital for 5-7 days, so it was very stressful when he didn't get to leave until quite a bit later.

Since he has been home, I have been his main caregiver during the days while my mom works. I feed him and help him walk and make sure he takes his medicines, things like that. He had some lingering complications at home, which are now getting ironed out, thankfully. He is going to be ok.

All of this put a lot of stress on me and I slipped back into having panic attacks, stuttering and stammering, tics, etc. When I get like that I just want to crawl into a hole and hide from the world. That is why I haven't been posting for a while. Everything was overwhelming, worrying about my dad and all, so I shut everyone out like I usually do.

I am wishing you all well and glad we have this space to come together and talk about our struggles and victories. Hang in there everyone, and thanks for the support.

Drew

[Jet]

Originally Posted by Jason

but the symptoms of PTSD are all the same...

no...they...are not all the same.
and i resent my sufferings being grouped as general experiences.

[Apocalipstic]

I think we can say that some of the symptoms of PTSD are the same even if the original trauma is different.

Whether it be abuse, war, bombs, loss, a traumatic event....whatever it is, we end up learning coping skills to get us through, to keep ourselves alive...then, when the actual event (or events) is over, we still have those hyper aware coping mechanisms we had to use to survive which do not necessarily work well in every day life.

Everyone has their own hell, but many of the symptoms of that hell manifest in similar ways. It is our bodies response to abnormal situations.

Symptoms like:

Re-experiencing the traumatic event
Intrusive, upsetting memories of the event
Flashbacks (acting or feeling like the event is happening again)
Nightmares (either of the event or of other frightening things)
Feelings of intense distress when reminded of the trauma
Intense physical reactions to reminders of the event (e.g. pounding heart, rapid breathing, nausea, muscle tension, sweating)
Avoiding activities, places, thoughts, or feelings that remind you of the trauma
Inability to remember important aspects of the trauma
Loss of interest in activities and life in general
Feeling detached from others and emotionally numb
Sense of a limited future (you don’t expect to live a normal life span, get married, have a career)
Difficulty falling or staying asleep
Irritability or outbursts of anger
Difficulty concentrating
Hyper vigilance (on constant “red alert”)
Feeling jumpy and easily startled
Anger and irritability
Guilt, shame, or self-blame
Substance abuse
Depression and hopelessness
Suicidal thoughts and feelings
Feeling alienated and alone
Feelings of mistrust and betrayal
Headaches, stomach problems, chest pain

I have many of these. For example, it never occurred to me I would live to be 46. Never for one second.

I am hyper vigilant and very easily startled. I have had substance issues, depression, thoughts of suicide, anger, stomach, head and chest pain, I relive some of the traumas over and over, guilt, feeling of detachment, sleep problems, muscle tension, breathing issues, nausea, self blame, guilt, guilt, guilt, flashbacks intense physical reactions and more.

The Brain Spotting (in therapy) is intense, but seems to be helping. We started walking after work. I hope I can keep it up. I need to exercise and to get out more other than work.

No ones walk is alike, agreed! But we do have enough in common to understand and be here for each other when we can.

[Apocalipstic]

I have been so jumpy.

I know it makes people feel strange around me when every little movement almost makes me scream. I am hoping that getting some exercise will help.

[Leigh]

I get that often too, where every little thing makes Me nervous or jumpy ~ hopefully that will go away sometime in the future

[Jason]

WHAT DOES POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DISORDER MEAN?

Post is the Latin word for "after".

Trauma is the German word for "nightmare", but in English, it is used for any kind of injury, physical or psychological.

Stress is a force that changes the shape of things (including people).

Disorder refers to things that are a problem in a person's life now.

To understand PTSD, it is necessary to tell two stories.

Once upon a time, several blind men wanted to understand about elephants.

An elephant was brought to them, and they all approached it from different directions.

One felt the tail, and said "an elephant is like a rope"!

Another found a leg, and said, "no, an elephant is like a tree trunk".

A third walked into the side of the elephant, and said, "really, an elephant is like a wall .

Others found the ear, the trunk, a tusk, and each felt his part of the elephant was the real elephant.

Each blind man was right about his part of the elephant, but none of them really understood about elephants.
The story of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is similar.

PTSD was first recognized after the American Civil War. Doctors noticed that some soldiers who had been in heavy combat complained of having attacks of fast heartbeat, chest pain, difficulty breathing, and fear that they were dying or going crazy.

The symptoms were similar to heart attacks. Not having the scientific equipment to investigate further, they assumed the attacks were a form of heart disease. They called it "soldiers' heart".

We now know the attacks are not heart disease. They result from rushes of adrenalin, triggered by bad memories or nightmares.

A few years after the war, most people forgot about the problem, but the part of the elephant they had found was real.

World War I was the first time very large numbers of explosive shells were used in battle.

It was noticed that some combat veterans, afterward, had trouble with feeling somewhat dazed or confused, and with poor concentration and memory.

This seemed similar to what happened in many brain injuries. It was thought that the concussions of the shells caused tiny spots of bleeding in the brain. They called it "shell shock".

Eventually, a lot of autopsies were done on soldiers who had died of other causes, and no such bleeding was found. It was recognized that the symptoms resulted from extreme stress, not brain damage.

It should be remembered that many people with PTSD, especially from child abuse and domestic violence, have had damage from blows to the head. Both symptoms of brain injury and effects of overwhelming stress may be present in the same person.

A few years after the war, the matter was again dropped, but they had found another part of the elephant.

When World War II came, it took until June of 1944 to redevelop the treatment methods used in 1918.

In that war, they learned two important things. The severity of a person's symptoms was directly related to how much stress he or she had undergone, over how much time.

It was calculated that of 100 men in continuous combat, every single one would break down within 189 days. They called it "combat fatigue", or "combat exhaustion".

It also became clear that there is no such thing as a stress-proof person. Certainly some people break before others, but with enough stress and enough time, everybody breaks. They had another part of the elephant.

After World War II, it was assumed (never investigated, just assumed) that symptoms of traumatic stress went away in 6 months or a year, after the war was over. They were greatly mystified at the large number of alcoholics who came out of that war.

Only after the Vietnam War did it become clear that PTSD symptoms could appear at any time, during or after the war. The symptoms could go on, better or worse from time-to-time, all of a person's life.

The severity of the symptoms is influenced by how much emotional support a person has available during and after trauma.

Veterans of an unpopular war, such as Vietnam, were clearly affected by the fact that nobody wanted to talk about it later.

Survivors of child abuse and domestic violence are more severely affected because family or friends, who normally would provide support, are the perpetrators of the violence.

In the late 1970's feminist writers began publicizing the fact that far more child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic violence were occurring than previously admitted.

Studies began to reveal that domestic violence is a problem in about 25% of all families, regardless of race, religion, income or education. About 16% of all girls and 8% of all boys are sexually abused before the age of 18 years. Rapes reported to the authorities may represent less than 10% of those that actually occur. About 10% of the adult population is alcoholic. Inclusion of other abusable substances may raise the figure to double that.

Very few people are directly involved in wars, but most people have a family.

Unlike in times past, the feminists and Vietnam veterans have not shut up and gone away. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is now an official diagnosis in the diagnostic and statistical manual.

Consciously or unconsciously, the brain remembers everything. Trauma really happens, and it changes who you are. You cannot seriously hurt human beings and expect them to forget it and be alright afterwards.

People who have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder often worry about whether they are "crazy".

The word "psychotic" (or crazy) usually means experiencing or believing things that are not real: being "out of touch with reality".

People with PTSD's have essentially the opposite problem. They are in too much contact with reality, and in contact with realities that most people have the privilege of not knowing about.

It is just as possible to be sick from too much contact with reality, as from not enough.


This is a great article on PTSD from the Lola Greene Baldwin Foundation. If you want to read the entire article, then go to:

http://www.prostitutionrecovery.org/ptsd.html

I have done a lot of research on PTSD and this is a good one! It does a lot of comparison to war veterans and survivors of domestic violence, child abuse, etc. as examples of some of the ways that people can have traumatic experiences, resulting in PTSD.

[tuffboi29]

Hypervigilance and scanning (yup)
Elevated startle response (yup)
Blunted affect, psychic numbing (not sure what that is)
Aggressive, controlling behavior (a high degree of insistence on getting your way) (alot yes)
Interruption of memory and concentration (ye...what was that????)
Depression (yup)
Generalized anxiety (all the time)
Violent eruptions of rage (yup)
Substance abuse (thank Moses not anymore)
Intrusive recall -- different from normal memory in that it brings with it stress and anxiety (and panic and unneccesary fear,yup)
Dissociative experiences, including dissociative flashbacks (so im not hallucinating??????i still see it???)
Insomnia (alot)
Suicidal ideation (not as much anymore)
Survivor guilt (constantly)



Now if i may ask? What about violent dreams?Acting out physically during those dreams?Confusion and hard to awake and realize it's not real?I was told those are night terrors....someone help please?And please note i am not intending any insult whatsoever....just tired of being terrified and consistantly on gaurd.Any response would be greatly appreciated.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Tuffboi29,

Yes, they are night terrors. I have those. I find myself kicking, hitting, screaming, and the like. Go see a sleep disorder doc. Get a study done. Then from there you will be sent to a therapist. Go. See if you can get relief.

[JustBeingMe]

Yep, those are night terrors as they call them. I have them too. I have night terrors all the time. Sometimes I remember them, sometimes I can't remember most of the event of the dream. I wake up sweating, panicky,breathing hard, chest pounding, and mostly can't get back to sleep cause it's racing in my mind.....WTF just happened is usually one of those things I ask myself .I don't sleep well as it is, insomnia alot, and when I do sleep, I crash and burn hard, and then the night terrors begin, waking me up, and I am exhausted all over again. It's PTSD, anxiety,stress, and depression that triggers a lot of this. I am going through a lot of crap right now and it's just going to take time to get this done and over with. Not knowing the outcome is the hard part as well. Being at home with family where I am not really wanted but can't afford to leave in the first place is a huge stressor on top of all the other stuff. I just wish I could move on with my life, but financially I am being strangled to death paying for something I should not have to, and I can't afford to move at this point. If I could, I would never have gone home in the first place. My family doesn't understand let alone do my siblings care, and mom breathing down my neck daily and calling me names don't help my anxiety and stress and depression and it's adding to my PTSD symptoms too.